HANIA
"Had your dinner?" My mom asked, stirring something aggressively on the other side of the screen.
"Not yet, we'll have at 8:30..." I answered glancing at clock.
"Are you taking your medicines timely?" She questioned staring into my soul.
"Jii Ammi" she gave me a serious look.
"Achha ye bato Azra kya kar rahi hai??" I asked her quickly.
I was talking to my mom on phone and suddenly
"HANIA!!!" Hamza shouted,and i just flinched at that.
Thank God my mom didn't pay attention to that.. otherwise i would have died answering her questions.
I asked Anvi to check,what happened that he shouted like that ....
Is he hurt??
"Aab yaad aaye meri?" My sister asked sitting beside my mom in the Living room.
"Bhot bandar hai yaha,Roz dekhti hoon..." I joked.
"Ammi ye mujhe phir se bandar bol Rahi hai..." She cried like a child she is.
And my mom scolded both of us.,and I took a screenshot of my sister crying.
"Mumma woh screenshot bhi le Rahi hai..." It's fun to mess with her.
This time my mom ended the call lecturing me that i don't even know how to talk to my sister.
As I stood up to join them downstairs Anvi returned.
"What happened?" I asked her, taking a book out of my bag,so I can read peacefully after dinner.
"Don't ask and don't send me to their room again!!!" She muttered burying her face into the pillow.
"How should I know what happened?" I am clueless, I know she is dramatic but this?
"May be there were fighting..." I try to make it less awkward.
"Nope,it feels like they are newly married couples and i caught them doing something..." What's wrong with all of them....
I got down and three of them,are watching a show by then,i reached there I know they are at looking me,i tried to turn around to ask what's wrong with them.
As soon i turned shahzain took the remote and dissected it as he was in a
anatomy pratical.
And Arsh inspected the fake flowers in the vase like nothing in this world allured him more than the plastic flowers.
Only Hamza was looking at me without blinking, which isn't unusual.
And saw Anvita observing them, chewing her cheese sandwich from the corner.
Something is wrong with all of them, she gave me a look "i-told-you-right?"
I just came here to collect my glasses which i left here in the morning.
While I'm going back Anvi pulled me, to sit beside her,i just sat there reading my book.
"Meri chai kidar hai?" He asked after few minutes sitting beside me.
I just looked up from my book "Thume khud pata hona chahiye..." I just continued reading.
He snatched my book "please make it" his tricks not gonna work.
"Ask Zain,he is making a cup for himself..." I suggested.
"I'll rather die than drinking his chai..." He answered still looking at me.
"Zain, Hamza ke liye bhi ek cup bana dena..." I said.
"Hanu stop i can't take it now..." Arsh Said in between laughs.
Him and Anvi are now in ROFL state...
Hamza is glaring at me,his eyes are different from his usual cold state,and that look convinced me.
I got up to make it for him,"Hanu make one cup for me too..." Anvi just hit Arsh on the head with a Pringle box.
Zain made a extra cup of hot chocolate instead of chai and handed the cup to me.
"Is that still tastes like poison??" He asked.
"A tasty poison.." I took my second sip.
He accompanied me in the kitchen,"Your friend and you are quite opposite.." He showed the picture of Shazia which she posted few minutes ago on her story.
"Yep opposites attract... but we are like same person you know...." I tried to explain him.
"But can't imagine you in a bar chilling with a beer..."He looked at me.
"Astaghfirullah Zain!! I didn't speak in that context...we have same mindset, but different perspective of seeing things.." i tried to make it clear.
"Still, pretty weird though... I know opposites attract but still.. they are so many differences..." Why he is bothered about us.
"What's his problem here?"
"You don't even know her Zain..." I'm reminding him not to judge her.
People judge her too quickly based on her social media posts,her carefree attitude, dressing sense.
But only I know how amazing person,the side she don't show to this world,she is the best person i know....
"Yeah, but still you have such a long friendship with Hamza..." I reminded that they both are quite opposite too.
"Fair point i like that..." He laughed,and we hear a sound and turned to see Hamza leaning against the door frame.
Looking straight at me,and i swear his eyes didn't even glanced at Zain for a millisecond.
And Zain just escaped because he have to attend the call.how his phone rings at the right time???
"Bring the cups from there.." i ordered him,he tried to suppress his smile, but he didn't succeed at that.
"So..." He stood to my left, and was about say something and i just sneezed.
"Allahmdulillah.." he said before I can.
I looked at him slightly suprised "i thought you didn't believe in such things??" I asked straing the tea for him.
"I believe in everything when It comes to you...." He whispered,and don't know why that's loudest thing that ever reached to my heart...it repeated a million times in 30 seconds.
Forgot a beat,my heart skipped a whole song at that.. why he has right things to say always.. things that makes blush like an idiot..
Stop getting distracted hanu remember what you decided!!
He took a sip and he his drifted to mine,i glupled nervously.
I'm pretty sure he's gonna make a remark about the chai..if he does I'll throw the remaining tea on his face without any hesitation.
"What happened to your jaw?" He pointed towards my left side.
"Mosquito bite" it left a small red and mark.
He was looking at me with a darkness, that i felt in my bones.
"What?" I snapped.
He came too close too observe it,and i thought he would touch me,the anxiety rised in me... but he just took a biscuit beside me and took a bite looking at me.
He just smirked at me and left.
"What just happened here??"
...........
"Are you sure you don't want to come in??" I looked at him from the window.
He dropped me infront of my home,
"I want to but I'm getting late, it's almost 8pm, Nani will be waiting for me..next time we'll see..." He answered durming his fingers on the steering.
My eyes stopped at his forehead,his hair covered the plaster,he saw the guilt on my face,and i pointed my finger at that.
"Stop Hanu!!" It's not the first time,i got injured.
My fingers moved little closer,to his face, like i wanted to touch him.
He closed his eyes for a brief second, there's weird tension between both of us.
"Assalamualaikum Hamza bhai..." Azra greeted him,and i was pulled away from my thoughts, She is standing infront of the gate.
He smiled at her they started talking like they are best friends.
I just walked inside ignoring both of them.
"Mumma..." I just hugged her.
"Did you enjoy?"
"Alot,you know what...." I summarised my whole trip to her.
"Have done with your stories?" Arza asked, with her boring face.
"Not at all.." I was wrapped my hand around my dad's bicep and placed my head on his shoulder.
He ran his hand on my head, like he always does.
"I can't wait, Continue you boring stories tomorrow..." She grabbed the bowl of watermelon I was eating.
I looked at my dad to complain"Your Ammi warned us not to eat dinner, until you come..." He answered.
We all had dinner together, it's a best feeling to return back to home.
"See how dry is your hair..."my mom is oiling my hair.
Just another name of taking revenge..
"Ammi gently it's hurting.." I try to say,"Aur khule rakho thumare baal.." God mom and their taunts.
After drenching me oil,she is satisfied finally.
I was laying on my bed sleepy,I was about to text Hamza,is he reached safely yet.
My screen lit up with his incoming call,i can't the smile and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hm,i reached safely,had my dinner,now sleep."I can imagine a shy smile on his face.
"I didn't ask anything Hamza.." i controlled my laugh.
"Haa pata hai, atleast haa toh bol deti..." This time I can't control my laugh.
"Kafi hype kar rahe ho khudko?" I know he rolled his eyes.
"Really? Is it working?" He joked.
"Achha bye good night.." i cut the before he can say anything else.
I slowly drifted into sleep thinking why God is testing me with the things I can't handle this is just too much for me,how can I even move on from this..
I wish all my problems will as small as things from here.
I wish all the bad things I heard, will be the darkness, which will disappear with a ray of light.
I wish I could have someone in my life like moon who guides in the darkness.
I wish I could have someone here beside me to share what I'm going through....
The far away lights are the people who are with us during the difficult times,they are few but we can find them miles away.
And problems they are like the valley in front of me,we assume it doesn't have any end but it has, but the things is that we can't see the end.
Will it hurt when i jump from here?
Will someone save me?
What if I comeback alive by some miracle?
Seeing the depth of it from where I'm standing it's impossible....
I stood at the edge of the cliff, what if there is water down there?
I don't know how to swim,my stupid brain always thinks useless things..
Come on Hania, you can do it
Pave the way, put your back into it...
Tell us why
Show us how
Look at where you came from
Look at you now
Seriously hanu? Your thinking of a song right know.
Take a risk now, because you won't be there for next time..
"HANIA!!!" Someone called me.
I didn't pay attention, until someone pulled me back by my wrist.
I quickly freed my hand "What are you thinking hania? How could you do this?" He asked.
I turned to the other side because I can't look at him now.
"You are so stupid hania,you are coming with me that's it.." he said in a stern voice .
"I-i don't know what to do..." My voice cracked slightly.
"How can you think that I can live without you?" That made me look at him.
Due to the darkness I can't see his face,
I walked towards him,he pulled me into a hug and i just broke into sobs...
I don't know how long he held me like that , I pulled back and I saw the face of Hamza....
I woke up,tears streaming down my face.
No it can't be true,why it has to be him...
I checked the time, it's almost 3'o clock.
I started praying my tahajjud..
Ya Allah, please renew the imaan in my
Heart, help me be focused on you and not your creation, give me the strength to let it go of things that are breaking me,Ya Allah please protect me from my own foolishness...
Ya Allah don't allow my heart to crave for the things that aren't written to be mine....
I cried my heart out,till i feel nothing but a numb pain in my whole body.
How can I see him , talk to him,have him beside me by knowing what I feel for him...
They are billions of people in this world,why him?