HAMZA
I was sitting in my room and staring my phone from the past 1 hour.
I was looking at the picture Anvita posted,as soon I got home I checked Hania's instagram account but it's a private account with 0 posts,54 followers and 63 Following.
Arsh, Anvita and Shazu already following her but ,if I do, my computer skills don't stop at only that.
But these days I am listening to my heart,so I sent a request to her.
Which she accepted after 45 minutes, what was she doing? Ofcourse she'll have her own stuff....
Basically it has nothing no highlights nothing just the bio of single line of Italian.
Vivere una bella vita(living a beautiful life).
With a dp of trust, wait,pray within a infinite symbol.
She is more secretive than I thought.
But a small smile curved my lips, when I remembered she is my partner in physiology. I can't wait for tomorrow......
I joined my Nani for dinner "you are behaving little different " she said out of nowhere. How she know? Ofcourse all of sudden you are having dinner together and smiling.
I don't know how to react I remained silent "woh ladki kon hai?"(who is that girl)she asked and I caught little off guarded "ko-konsi ladki? ( W-which girl) I asked. what I Stutter too now??
"Mujhe sab pata hai Nijju"(i know everything Nijju)she stated as a matter of fact, ofcourse she used to work as a principal in one of our school's. Wait did my uncle told her no doubt it has to be him...
"She is my batchmate and friend " I revealed to her practically poking the fork into my skin, "My guess is right" she said excitedly like she won a million worth lottery.."wait uncle didn't tell you anything you just guessed it??" My eyes went wide"I just doubted and you confirmed it". She smiled.
Saba Ahmed is so intelligent than I thought.
"Soo.. you like her?" She asked with a pause "No I don't" the words tasted bitter leaving my tongue. i know I'll take them back ....
"Then why are you changing all of sudden" she asked softly, yes when they see a change in me it will make me a worse person than before.
"I wanted to change from a long time she just motivated me" by consuming my thoughts that kept me working constantly on my self..
"And I don't like her because,she reminds me of your daughter" i said leaving the room,my Nani's eyes widened in shock because I don't talk about my mother at all.
Hania didn't even deserved to be compared with a cruel person.
But her smile reminds me of my mother's smile when I get back from school and her OCD remains of my mom's behaviour she too liked to have things in a certain way.
And I hate it .
"Hello?" I called Adarsh,"we'll have a match at 7:30"I informed him "ok inform Shazu too"he answered.
I can't wait for tomorrow to spend my most of the time with her. We are part of same group in anatomy too.
I quickly arranged my Book's for tomorrow and left for the match.
"What the hell you were doing?" I asked shahzain "Don't you think we are going too early?"he questioned, yawning ,well it's still 7:40 in the morning but I want to go early.
They both aren't morning persons,this must be torture for them...
I looked at Arsh, practically he's in his Hangover state.
I opened my glove box and saw a Ibuprofen and handed him that.
I don't drink, but these to do, it's fine once a while,I hate when it turns into addiction.
"Adarsh-" Shazu looked up from tying his shoes, his eyes darted between me and Arsh.
"Can we please talk about it another time...i can't now.." He closed his eyes as it hurts him to deny us.
"What the fuck do you mean by that? Just look at you Arsh?" Shahzain pointed towards his eye bags.
"Shut up shazu, I said leave me alone for sometime.." Arsh looked out of the window.
"No-one is interested in cuddling with you..."Shahzain snapped,And Arsh's angry glare collided with shahzain.
Before they can actually fight,"Adarsh don't!! I don't want to hear anything.." i meet his eyes in the front mirror.
And i turned back, to look shahzain "Don't bring her in between now.. he's already hurt Shazu.." Shahzain was
Against Arsh and Neha's relation from long back, but as a friend he always supported Arsh.
We reached the college in utter silence and waited at the cafeteria for them, cause Anvita can't even walk without coffee, we'll who don't like coffee??. Hania she doesn't, I only saw her drinking once..in a whole week..
We were waiting for them and I saw her in a black kurta and matching pants and wearing flats thin like a paper. But she looks soo good...
I don't know but I think she feels insecure about her height, and I never saw a girl who wears the flatest sandals. I mean c'mon height doesn't depend on you right? It's all about genetics she shouldn't worry about that.
Just look at me I am 6'3 which is very high than the avg of Indian height, not that I am too tall but still it's awkward sometimes.
We all headed towards the class and
We had a hour long lecture of anatomy and followed by physiology and a Break then biochemistry lectures these all are theory lectures and a lab apparatus intro of biochemistry and a lunch break.
"I'm done with the classes I can't do anymore"shahzain announced "it's just half day" I said " Bro I'm not even interested in this stuff"he's fidgeting with the pen.
"I don't even remember anything" Anvita stated "Because you were sleeping during the whole class" Hania deadpanned. All of us chuckled at that.
One girl came to Anvita and Hania and they were talking about something and she didn't smile like when she talks to someone.I saw something different in her , she has cold expression during the time she talked to the girl, just like me Interesting..
"Omg you look exactly same like Hamza when you were talking to her" Adarsh told her and she raised her eyebrows "what does that mean??"
"He means you were just seconds away from choking that girl" shahzain explained her. She brushed off with a laugh and looked at me and a smirk automatically appeared on my face.
With a cold face"Well I don't like her vibes, she is just a rude person...i get negative vibes from her.." She was searching something on her phone.
And her phone pinged with a notification and she smiled and showed it to Anvita, she murmured something in Hania's ear and Hania's whole face turned into crimson red.
I am sure it's her boyfriend, Irritation flickers in me at that thought, so you want to be her boyfriend now ?? My subconscious questioned me what noo i don't know how I feel....
We walked back to physiology lab and our teacher allocated our places, now me and Hania sitting beside eachother .She was listening to the teacher while I was focusing on her.Her phone vibrated under the desk two times but I think she didn't observe it.
I will break his jaw..of that bastard for disturbing her, and I don't mind him killing too.
Wait am I jealous over him? Fucking not why would I?
I can lie to anyone but not my self I stalked her whole followers to see anyone that strikes as her boyfriend or suspicious.... but didn't find any.
She was writing something in her book and her pen dropped and I bent down to pick it up for her and she too picked the pen at same time and our hands touched slightly. She looked so embarassed and removed her grip from the pen.
I give her pen,acting unbothered about her touch, I'm burning because of that.."Thank you"she muttered and I nodded ,because i don't know how to respond to such things.
The teacher was done with his explanation and they were 15 minutes left so , "So what book's did you buy??"I looked at Hania "Hmm for physiology I bought the Guyton and hall ......"she continued telling which books she bought.
And I am internally patting my self on the back for choosing a safe topic to talk,my therapist would be so happy right now...
"Wait you bought Vishram Singh instead of BD.chaurasia??" I asked curiously because it wasn't mentioned by our senior's "Ya I tried reading the pdf version I think it has more defined and easy diagrams and it has point wise information soo .."she bit her lip nervously.
Stop fucking doing that..
"Oh ok I think it's good bcuz in our college we don't have any particular books to follow so it can be easy "I assured her.
"And you can also try books in the library we have every sort of academic Books"I added and she smiled at the last part ,a heart melting smile.
"I will try" she answered, i know she is nervous around me.."So you know we can keep a note book to write down the experiments separately,it will help during the exams I hope. She added. "We can " I assured her.
And her phone buzzed again,"it was buzzing through out the classes" I pointed towards her phone"Ohh I didn't notice"she quickly unlocked and checked.
She checked the phone a small smile on her face,and I wanted to know who it is " it must be an important one"I tried to ask "No no it's just a friend" she brushed it off.
Friend my foot, who even smiles like that talking to a friend ??i don't remember smiling at Arsh and Shazu messages?
I think the teacher left, and Anvita came to us "you both still fighting??" She asked Hania pointing the phone ."Yeah, didn't even replied to my previous messages "she replied with a sad look.
"Possessive much huh??"Anvita said with a smirk and Hania rolled her eyes.
What the fuck????
I don't want to here knowing all these stuff.... I am seconds away from a anger attack. No you promised hamza you won't hurt yourself or anyone else.
"Hey, just inform Arsh and shazu that I will be waiting in the parking" I informed them and stepped out to get some fresh air... As soon as possible.
I literally can't believe I had a crush on a girl for like 4 days and got to know she has a boyfriend
It literally hurts I can't describe,i am so obsessed with her.
Yes,I am obsessed with Hania.
Whenever I see her I remember my happy times in life.. they are few but worthy.
When used to practice football,it used to rain mostly..i like the smell of mud,when it rains..
She is the breathe of freshness to my doomed world...
When ever I used to pick flowers for my mom,i used to have a big smile on my face.
Whenever I'm around I feel the same smile.. creeping up again.
I used to go to camps with Arsh and Shazu,i really like the smell of wild flowers.
She smells Exactly like that only.. sweet citrusy and woody..
Every memory floods in my mind when she is around... like she's connected to me in a different way since my childhood.
I really like her shy nature, maturity and her sense of humour.
She doesn't show or rub her problems on other's as I said she looks happy but not completely, she doesn't force anyone with their problems.
We are so similar,yet quite different...
By observing a person for 5 days you can notice a lot of things.
Ofcourse when you like someone by wholeheartedly, you are giving them the permission to break your heart too...
I can't imagine her belonging to someone else.
This is the most happy I've been in past three years, I can't withstand someone snatching my happiness away from me.