"What the hell is this? Spear of Destiny? What is this -- God's toothpick? You know, would it have killed these asshats to label these boxes in something other than hieroglyphics? It's ridiculous." Dean says. Sam nor Carly respond. "Hey. You listening to me?"
"You were talking?" Carly frowns in confusion as she looks up from her history book.
Dean rolls his eyes.
"Yeah. It's, uh... fascinating stuff. You should probably, uh, write it all down in your journal for the archives, you know?" Sam says, clearing his throat.
"Yeah, thanks. You guys are a lot of help." Dean remarks sarcastically. Sam coughs into a napkin. "Hey, Doc Holliday, you all right over there?"
"Uh, yeah. Um... I'm fine." Sam throws the napkin away. "Just, uh, wrong pipe."
"Well, hello." Dean flips through a magazine. "These Men of Letters weren't so boring after all. Konnichiwa. Hey, check this out." Dean walks over and stands next to where Sam is sitting.
"Dude, what is wrong with you?" Sam asks.
"What's wrong with me? You kidding me? This is a first edition, dude." Dean says. "You know what this would go for on eBay?"
"No. Why? Do you?" Sam asks.
"No. Maybe." Dean admits. "Shut up." He sits down. "You find anything?"
"I did, yeah. Uh, dead bodies showing up all over the Midwest last week. Benton, Indiana; Downers Grove, Illinois, uh, Novi, Michigan; and then again last night in Lincoln Springs, Missouri." Sam says.
"And how is this us?" Dean asks.
"Because each of the victims had severe burns around their eyes, hands, and feet, puncture wounds through the backs of their hands, eyes, and internal organs liquefied." Sam says.
"That sounds like us." Dean says.
"Yeah. Also, no link between any of the victims. Uh, one was a real estate agent. Another was a local historian. Woman killed last night was a teacher."
"So, chupacabra. What do we got? Power tools gone rogue? Wait-- are we talking a "Mexican Overdrive" situation here?"
"I don't know. Worth a shot, though. I'll grab my gear. We should probably leave in five."
"Mm-hmm." Dean nods, looking at the magazine.
"Unless, of course, you need some more time with Miss October." Sam says.
"What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, make it ten." Dean says. Sam chuckles. "Come on, sweetheart." He wraps his arm around Carly's waist, picking her up.
"Why?" Carly asks as Sam grabs her schoolwork.
"Because your uncle's a pig." Sam says, walking out.
+++
Sam hangs his phone up.
"So, real estate guy's wife said he was acting weird." Sam informs. "Uh, historian's hubby said the same -- just got all obsessive and then weird. No one saw any black eyes, but still, where there's smoke, you know..." He says as they walk up to the house. "I wonder what they're all looking for."
"Well, Wendy Rice here was the last person to speak with Ann, so let's see if she can tell us." Dean says. Sam knocks on the door and soon a woman with curlers in her hair opens the door.
"Special Agent Lynne. We're with the FBI. We'd like to ask you a few questions about Ann Morton." Sam says.
"Oh." Wendy chuckles a bit, seeming nervous. "Uh, uh, uh, of course. Please come in."
~ ~ ~
They're in the living room and Wendy puts a tray of mugs down on the coffee table.
"I had never met her before she called the other night." Wendy informs, sitting in a chair across from them.
"Now, why was she calling you?" Sam asks.
"She was looking to find an original map of the city." Wendy says.
"Did she say what for?" Sam asks.
"Well, she-- she didn't, but she did mention an... an old orchard that had gone missing." Wendy says.
"Missing?" Dean questions.
"This-- this town was wiped from the earth by one of the river's 100 year floods. It was-- it was rebuilt. But all the original records were-were lost. I'm-- I'm a PhD candidate. And this -- this is my research." She says, bringing a binder over and going through it on the coffee table.
"I, uh... my dissertation is-- is on the history of this town and, uh, its connection to the Underground Railroad and-and-- and whatnot. I've been working to recreate the map for years as part of my research, and this-- this is the old Jakubiak Orchard there." She points to a certain point on the map. "I found out yesterday it's where Downey meets Bond Street."
"Now, did Ann say why she was looking for the site of an old orchard?" Sam asks.
"No. We-- we set a time to meet and she never showed. Then I read about her in the paper. It's just tragic. Ann's assistant called this morning, though, asking if I still had the map." Wendy says.
"Assistant?" Sam asks. There's multiple knocks on the door.
"Oh. That's probably him. Maybe he can help." Wendy says, getting up and going to answer the door. Wendy opens to the door to find three men in suits.
"Oh. Uh, are-are you--" Wendy stops as the three mens' eyes turn black. Wendy screams as the three charge in. They begin fighting and Miranda grabs the kids, pulling them out of the way. Dean punches a demon which falls over the couch and Dean hops over it.
A demon throws Wendy into the coffee table which breaks. A demon lunges at Sam, the two crashing through glass doors.
One demon grabs the map and runs out.
Miranda's eyes widen at Cas smiting a demon that's on top of Sam and Cas has his other hand in Wendy's hair.
~ ~ ~
Sam, Miranda, and the kids are sitting on the couch. Dean walks in and is carrying an ice pack.
"Put this on your shoulder." He tells Sam, tossing him the ice pack. Sam throws the ice pack onto the floor.
"I'm fine." Sam says as Dean sits on the arm of the couch.
"Boo-boo?" Serena asks, looking over at her dad from her place on her mom's lap.
"No boo-boo." Sam says.
"He has one. He's just stubborn." Miranda huffs.
"Oh, cause you're any better?" Sam retorts. Miranda mocks him.
"The other demon escaped." Cas informs, walking in. "I bound the one I caught in a devil's trap. I'm gonna interrogate it now."
"Wait a second. Cas. How about you answer some questions first? Like, where the hell have you been?" Sam asks.
"You heard me, didn't you?" Dean asks.
"You prayed to him?" Sam asks.
"Yes, I heard you. But that's not why I'm here." Cas says, sitting down. "I've been hunting demons."
"So this is you. Why?" Sam asks.
"I've been searching for the other half of the demon tablet." Cas states.
"Without us?" Dean asks.
"I've been trying to help, Dean. And in my search, I uncovered that Crowley has sent out demons to find Lucifer's crypts." Cas informs.
"Lucifer had crypts?" Dean asks.
"Dozens of them, apparently."
"But why the storage wars? I mean, what the hell are they all looking for?" Sam asks.
"They're looking for a parchment that would allow them to decipher Crowley's half of the demon tablet without a prophet." Cas says.
"A demonic decoder ring? In Crowley's hands? Awesome." Dean mutters.
"The crypts were, uh, lost over time. Only those closest to Lucifer knew their whereabouts." Cas states.
"Then how did Crowley find them?" Sam asks.
"His demons have been possessing locals who may have some special knowledge." Cas says.
"That would explain the crazy room at Ann's house." Sam says. "But how did they know where to start looking in the first place?"
"I don't know. I'm hoping the strange haired demon in the kitchen is more knowledgeable than the others I interrogates." Cas gets up and goes to the kitchen.
"Well, he puts the "ass" in "Cas," huh?" Dean mutters.
"He's definitely off." Sam says.
"Off? He hasn't been right since he got back from Purgatory. We still don't know how he got out of there." Dean says.
"I don't know, Dean. If he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?" Sam asks.
"You know, I can hear you both. I am a celestial being." Cas says from the kitchen.
~ ~ ~
"The Winchesters." The demon in Wendy chuckles. They left the kids in the living room, not wanting them around the demon. "Oh, the thoughts she had about you boys. Mostly you, Sam. What can I say? She has a thing for smutton chops." The demon says.
"Fuck off, grandma." Miranda sneers.
"All right, you douchebag, listen--" Dean is cut off as Cas stabs his angel blade through the back of one of Wendy's hands and she screams in pain.
The three stare in shock, watching Cas pull the blade out.
"Who told you about the crypts?" Cas asks.
"I thought angels were supposed to be the good cops." Wendy says. Cas stabs her other hand making her scream in pain again.
"What the fuck is he doing?" Miranda whispers to her husband.
"Wait! Wait! Stop, stop! We have a hostage!" Wendy yells. Cas rips the blade out of her hand. "It's one of Crowley's pets. She's at the Murray Hotel, down by the interstate. She knows the towns where all the crypts are buried. She saw them all back in the day."
"And she told you about the parchment?" Sam asks.
"What parchment?!" Wendy asks.
"Hey. Hey! Think he's the only bad cop in this room? Stop lying! We know what you're really looking for." Dean says.
"No. I am telling you, we're looking for--" Wendy is cut off as Cas stabs the angel blade into her chest. She screams and light sparks from her body as she dies.
"Cas! What the hell was that?!" Sam exclaims.
"It told us what we needed." Cas says.
"No, she didn't! You can't just--"
"I started this hunt without you because I didn't want anything to slow me down. We have to get to the motel now." Cas says.
"Wait, hold on a second--" Sam starts, but Cas already disappeared.
"Cas!" They yell out.
"Cas? Cas?" Dean calls. "Damn it. Go. Go. Go."
+++
Miranda and the kids stayed down at the Impala while the guys went into the motel room. Sam called after a bit and told her it was safe to come up, Miranda wrangling the three children and going upstairs.
Meg is sitting on the bed, the brothers and Miranda sitting in chairs across from her. Sam has Serena on his lap and Miranda has Wyatt on her lap. Carly is squished in the seat with her mom. Cas is standing to the side.
"So, I got to ask. Um... what's up with the hair?" Dean asks.
"Aww. Thanks for noticing, Dean. But this wasn't my idea. It was Crowley's. And it's just another reason I want to stab him in the face." Meg says.
"Wait a second. You've been telling Crowley the location of Lucifer's crypts?" Sam asks.
"What can I say? I needed a break from the constant torture. And I did visit them all during my time with Yellow Eyes. But don't worry. I haven't exactly been giving them the Glengarry leads." Meg says.
"You mean you've been lying to them?" Cas asks.
"I just get them in the ballpark. Enough time's passed and enough's changed that they bought it." Meg says.
"Why lie?" Dean asks.
"Buy myself some time, dummy. Try to find a way to get free." Meg says.
"Wait-- so... a bunch of innocent people died so you could... buy yourself some time?" Sam asks.
"Hi. I'm Meg. I'm a demon." Meg quips.
"So, what have they found?" Cas asks.
"Bupkis. Every crypt's been one Al Capone's vault after another. And on top of that, someone kept picking up the trail and icing demons. I'm guessing that was you, Castiel. But Crowley just keeps sending more. He's hell bent on finding that angel tablet."
"Wait a second. Did you just say "angel tablet?"" Sam asks.
"You know, I get why Crowley calls you "Moose" now." Meg says. "Yes -- angel tablet. Crowley found out Lucifer had it, figures it's stashed in a crypt."
"Well, this is news to me, as well. Demons I interrogated, they must have been lying about their true intentions." Cas says.
"Really? Cause I saw you Zero Dark Thirty that demon. You were more than persuasive." Dean says.
"You're both missing the point. I lied to them, which means they're digging in the wrong place. But not for long. They'll be back here soon. So, who's up for fleeing?" Meg asks.
"She's right." Sam says. "We need to find those crypts before they do. Meg, you're the only one who's been there."
"We need your help." Cas says.
"Any of you dummies got a map?" Meg asks.
~ ~ ~
They're in Morton's basement and are gathered around a large table that has a mini village on it.
"There. That's where the crypt was." Meg says, nodding to a certain part of the village.
"What's there now?" Sam asks.
"Do I look like Google to you?" She asks. "None of these buildings were here way back in the day. Figure it out, genius. Is there any booze in this dump?" She walks out.
~ ~ ~
The family are in the basement and Sam is on his laptop, Cas and Meg upstairs.
"He lied to us." Dean states.
"Yeah, maybe. I can kind of understand why. I mean, an angel tablet? If the demon tablet can shut the Gates of Hell, what can the angel tablet do?" Sam questions.
"Here goes." Sam says, highlighting a part of the map on the laptop. "All right. According to this, the crypt has to be below an abandoned building."
"Good times. You really think we can trust, uh, Meg-stiel?" Dean asks.
"No. But what choice do we have?" Sam asks.
+++
"So... what happened? I mean, Cas touched the tablet, and it reset him to his factory setting or something?" Sam asks as Dean drives.
"I don't know. And I don't care. All I know is that he is off the reservation with a-a Heavenly WMD. Listen, man, I can't take anymore lies -- from anyone." Dean states.
"Yeah. Um... I know. I'm sorry. I should have told you. Both of you." Sam looks at Miranda, the two having explained Sam coughing up blood earlier. "I-I... just wanted to believe I was okay. I don't know." He says.
"Well, you heard what Cas said -- that that first trial hurt you in ways that even he can't heal. Sammy, I need you to be honest with me from here on out, man." Dean says.
"You're right. And I will be."
"Listen, I may not be able to carry the burden that comes along with these trials... but I can carry you."
"You... realize you kind of just quoted Lord of the Rings, right?"
"Come on, man. But it's the Rudy Hobbit, all right? Rudy Hobbit always gets a pass." Dean says and Sam chuckles. "Shut up." Dean tells him, turning the radio on.
Miranda quietly sighs, leaning her head against Sam's shoulder. Sam rests his head on top of hers, playing with her hand.