A/N: Vada x Reader
Summary: Y/n becomes closer to Vada and then, the shooting happens. They become closer and when Y/n has a mental breakdown about it, Vada's there to comfort her.
HERE WE GO!
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Y/n's POV:
I'm sitting in my room, playing a video game and listening to music. I'm drowning myself out as my parents are arguing downstairs and I don't want to have to listen as my dad will probably shout at my mom for not aborting me. He's made it clear how much he is angry at her for keeping me alive— OW!
I glance around my room, my headphones falling off and I see Vada, giggling as she covers her mouth.
"Dude, I'm sorry." I hear her whisper,
"Why would you do that?" I ask her, making her laugh as she walks over. She wraps her arms around my neck, trying to hug me but I lean back, groaning. "Nooo..."
"No, come on, you know you love my hugs."
"Ugh, fine." I finally give in, wrapping my arms around her waist. She chuckles softly, hugging me. Before sitting down on my knee.
"You wanna get out of here? Go for a walk?"
"Yeah, I could use it."
"I can tell." She replies, glancing around my room. I lightly hit her shoulder, making her hiss in pain as she looks at me with her mouth, open in shock. I laugh, resting my chin on her shoulder. "How dare you hit me."
"You deserved it." I reply, before wrapping my arms around her and standing up. Earning a groan and an excited squeal.
"Woah—Woah—Woah—No! Oh, my god. I'm gonna f— " I pretend to drop her, earning a squeal, I spin around before chucking her on the bed. She laughs, grabbing my pillow and trying to hit me but I dodge a few yet get hit on a few occasions.
"Hey—!"
"—Stop hitting me." I complain, trying to stop her from hitting me but it doesn't work. I grab the pillow and move it above it, her trying to fight me but I manage to crawl onto her waist and stop her. Holding her wrists down. Both of us giggling. "All right— Hey—"
"—Screw you, weirdo." She complains, sighing and giving up. I smile contently, releasing her wrists and grabbing my pillow chucking it behind me. I crawl off of her, lying down beside her. Sighing contently. "So, what're we gonna do?" She asks, turning her head to face me. I look over at her before staring up at my ceiling. I think for a moment.
"We can... drive around—? Ooh! I know a nice spot. Let me take you there." I tell her, sitting up and turning to her, she sits up and rests her hand near me and tilts her head to the side, slightly. She nods her head, smiling widely.
"Yeah. Sure." She agrees, nodding her head. I hum softly, and grab my shoes, putting them on. I head over toward my PS5 and turn it off, setting my controller down. I grab my car keys and turn to her,
"All right, let's go, weirdo." I say to her, beckoning her toward the window. She opens the window and climbs outside, I climb outside after her and shut the window. I watch as Vada climbs down the ladder and then look up at me, waiting for me to climb down. However, as soon as I'm down and I hide the ladder, I see Vada staring at me. "What?" I ask her, heading over to her.
"Nothing." She replies, quietly. Looking away from me. I narrow my eyes, nudging her lightly.
"What's going on in that little brain of yours?" I ask her, raising my eyebrow. Making her laugh softly.
"Nothing." She denies, once again.
"Come on, Vads." I say, unlocking the door. I open the door and climb inside, her climbing inside as well. I put the keys in the engine and begin to reverse out of the driveway. "You can talk to me, you know." I remind her,
"Yeah, I... I know. I just... find it difficult. I don't wanna burden or—"
"—Trust me, I could listen to you rant for hours and I wouldn't mind. You are not a burden, I assure you." I express to her, glancing at her. Seeing her eyes focusing on me. I pull out of my street, turning right and beginning to head to a park. It has a nice walk and you can go further down where there's loads of rocks that you can chuck into a river. I know she'll like it.
"You think so?" I hear her ask quietly, I nod my head, lightly.
"Yeah. I mean, shit, no offence and all, you are probably the easiest person to talk too and hang out with. You talk a lot and I love listening, so, it's fun to hear these crazy ass stories or just your opinions that I somehow remember." I explain to her, earning a soft laugh.
"Thanks, Y/n." She thanks me, I shrug lightly.
"It's okay. Now, will you stop being so damn stubborn and just tell me what's going on with you?" I ask her, making her laugh.
"All right, all right." She finally agrees, adjusting in her seat. "I feel bad, I feel like my parents are good parents but I don't know how to tell them how I feel. I feel so different from them." She expresses to me,
"Ah, well... you happen to be with the expert on parents." I begin, making her laugh softly. "So, I get it. You feel a bit guilty, I'm assuming?"
"Very! Like I feel guilty for not allowing myself to be annoyed or upset but then...! I feel like I'm fucking 16, I should be allowed to be mad at my own parents and not feel guilty. I don't know why I do, but I do." She expresses to me, intently.
"I get it. It sucks feeling guilty but also conflicting on what you're feeling and if you should even allow yourself too. It seems... like entrapment, really." I try to sympathise with her, she nods her head, sighing.
"Yeah. It—It sometimes feels like that." She replies, I rest my hand on her forearm and my thumb strokes her forearm. I wanna comfort her and since I'm driving, best I can do.
"I'm sorry you feel like that, though." I apologise,
"It's okay." She dismisses, quietly.
*****
Me and my younger sister are wandering around as we're skiving class that we both hate since we don't like it. Teacher's a bitch. I'm glad I have a twin.
"I hate Mr Harrison." I hear my younger sister, Dani, complains. Sighing and rubbing her temple. "He's just— He's such an asshole, you know?"
"Yeah, I get you."
"I mean, why does he always pick on us? It's always us." Dani complains, shaking her head. I nod my head, moving my arm around her as we both laugh softly.
"Yeah, I mean, it's not our fault that we act fucking insane in his class." I express to her, making her laugh as we both high five before I glance out a window, seeing a Matthew walking toward a student. "Hey, what's Matthew doing?" I ask her,
"Yes, as if I know what Matthew's doing. I can just read what other people are doing even though—"
"—Shut up, come look." I say, grabbing her and pulling her toward the window, our faces sandwiching beside one another as we look intently at what he's doing. I see the girl begin to put her arms up in a surrender and— BANG. One gunshot.
"Holy fuck!" Dani exclaims,
"Shit, come on! We have to go hide." I say to her, going to run away but she isn't moving. "Dani, come on!"
"We have to go stop him."
"Bitch, are you fucking dumb? No. No, come on—"
"—Y/n, we have to stop him somehow. He used to be our friend."
"Yeah, until, he went fucking psycho. D, come on." I say, trying to grab her and take her away and in the opposite direction of where Matt is but she begins to walk in his direction. "D, stop it. Come on." I say, going after her and trying to stop her. She opens the door and glances back at me,
"Y/n, he used to be our friend. We have to at least try and stop h—" I hear a gunshot, jumping at the loudness of it and the echo. I blink repeatedly, looking down at my now shaking hands to see that there's blood splattered all over my hands. I look and see Dani on the ground, bleeding from her head. I gasp, covering my mouth.
I peak my head down the corridor and see Matt coming toward me, holding a gun up. He has a crazy look in his eye. I immediately step back, beginning to run to the nearest door and it ends up being a bathroom. I quietly shut the door and run in, I glance around and find a open stall, I go in and shut the door. Standing down on the toilet seat and kneeling.
I let out a soft breath and try to calm myself down but it doesn't work. Tears are running down my face, my hands are shaking, my body's shaking and I can't help but let out a whimper.
"H... Hello?" I hear someone call out to me, quietly.
"Who's this?"
"Vada."
"Vads? Where're you?" I ask, I hear a light tap on the wall to my left, I get off and climb underneath the wall and sit on the toilet across from her. "Are... Are you okay?" I ask her, speaking quietly. She shakes her head, going to lean into me but she stops and gasps,
"Y—You're... You're covered in blood." She informs me, I nod my head.
"I... I know, my... my sister... she's—she's gone. My sisters gone." I let out, feeling my heart completely drop. Beginning to sob quietly. "She's gone." I let out, again, feeling Vada hold me and comfort me as I continue to sob and shake in her arms.
*****
I haven't left my room in a few days and I've been ignoring Nick as I don't want to talk to him, he keeps talking about how he wants to change the law of how guns are legal, he doesn't want people to have to go through what everyone at our school is going through and at first it was nice to listen too.
However, now?
It's simply so repetitive. I care about it too but it's all he talks about and I don't want to be repeatedly reminded that I was part of a school shooting and was traumatised by it. He keeps mentioning how much pain my family is in, how much I've not gotten out of bed and not went to school, falling behind and how much it's affecting me.
I hear a light knock on my door,
"Y/n, it's me," I hear Vada say to me, I want to say something but my mouth doesn't open for me too. "can I come in?" She asks me, I once again try to speak but nothing. I can't get myself to speak. I hear the door open and I'm stuck in a stare at my cupboard. I watch as she sits in front of me and my eyes tiredly move to look at her, "Hey." She greets me, all I can let out is a small noise. "Hey, what's going on? I haven't seen you for 5 days." She informs me, it's been five days? It feels like it's been three. My eyes fall and I can't bring myself to keep my eyes open. "Say something, please." I try to think of what to say, I don't know what I want to say or what I'm even thinking because I have no thoughts. I just want to go back to bed. "Y/n, come on, say something." She pleads with me, I feel a tear fall out of my eye and fall down my nose and I feel her go to wipe it away but I flinch. Scared. "I won't hurt you, Y/n. I promise." She expresses to me, lying down beside me and moving my head onto her lap. I close my eyes and begin to fall asleep. "I'll be here if you need anything." I hear Vada say, it's the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.
***
I wake up to being alone and shivering in the cold, I glance around and hiss in pain at moving. My ribs are so sore and my stomach is so sore. I'm in so much pain and I can't move because of how much pain I'm in. I feel multiple tears begin to fall and progressively cry. Being all alone. I hear the door open and hear Vada,
"Hey, hey, you're okay— Y/n, what's wrong? Hey, what's wrong? Talk to me." Vada asks me and after not being able to say anything but sob. "Y/n, what's wrong?" It's the last thing I remember before I think I pass out due to exhaustion.
*****
I haven't ate in 3 days as I don't have enough energy to do so, Vada's been coming over a lot and trying to help me move around but I'm in too much pain and I still haven't fully gotten myself to speak to her, I keep trying to say to her that I'll be okay or answer any of her questions but I simply just can't. I simply can't get myself to speak.
"Hey, I brought you a slushie." I hear her say, setting it on my bedside table. I let my shoulders fall and my eyes feel so heavy. I look over at my bedside table, whimpering as I try to raise my hand but nope, I try to move it yet my arm isn't moving. My brain is telling my arm to move but my arm simply isn't moving. "Y/n, come on, you have to do something." She says, I nod my head imperceptibly, I hear a sigh from Vada. "Y/n."
"Mm." I let out, quietly. I notice her eyes soften and she helps me sit up, I whimper, feeling a lot of pain in my entire body. She moves it toward my lips and I begin to take a sip of the slushie.
"You're doing good." She cheers me on, I nod my head and remove my lips from the straw and whimper, resting my hand on my temple and groaning as I swallow the slush.
"I... It's so cold." I complain, my voice hoarse and weak. However, I notice Vada's eyes widen as she begins to smile, she hugs me and sets it down. Holding me close to her. I whimper, "Ow, ow, ow." I complain,
"Sorry." She apologises, quickly removing her arms from me. "Sorry, I... I'm just happy that you're finally speaking." She expresses to me, I nod my head lightly.
"S—Sorry." I apologise before clearing my throat yet my throat feels on fire.
*****
I'm building up the courage and finally eating, moving around and my parents are wanting me to go to school, I obviously don't want to go but if I have too to shut them up, then I'm going to go. I'm in my car and I got myself the biggest can of Red Bull and I'm headed over to pick Vada up. My heart's racing and I'm really nervous if I'm being honest. I have a Red Bull can for Vada as well so, hopefully she's less nervous as well.
I wait outside her house and send her a text that I'm here, normally I'd go in and see her but I don't really want to deal with anyone else but her right now. I secretly emailed the school and they said that I didn't have to be in class if I didn't want too, I could work in the library, I just had to tell them and get a note from them to give to the office and say how long I'm gonna be there for.
"Hey." I hear Vada say, getting in the car and sighing. I can tell she's super upset.
"What's wrong?"
"Shit morning."
"Can I do anything to help?" I offer, handing her a Red Bull. She opens it and begins to down some of it. She stops and puts it in the cupholder again, then puts her seatbelt on.
"No," She denies, "I just don't really wanna go to therapy. I have it during 4th." She informs me, I sigh, letting my shoulders fall.
"That sucks, can I do anything?"
"No. Let's just go." She says, I nod my head and begin to drive to school. Both of us talking and ranting at how we don't want to go in. "I swear, school for me is becoming more and more pointless." She expresses to me, I nod my head in agreement.
"Yep."
"So, how come your parents are making you go? I thought that they wanted to wait till you 100% were okay."
"I thought so too but they think that I'm just milking it now and not wanting to go in because I don't want to go in." I explain to her, her rolling her eyes.
"Of course."
"Yep." I mutter, quietly.
"I'm sorry, Y/n. You got this, we're gonna be okay." She assures me, I nod my head lightly and shrug.
"I hope so. I might work in the library for a couple of periods as there's some classes I just don't want to be in." I express to her, her nodding in agreement.
"Yeah, I totally get that." She agrees, "Look, whatever you need. Just text me, okay?"
"I will. You text me if you need anything as well." I say to her, she nods her head lightly.
"I will." She agrees, I take a big inhale in and softly exhale.
"Here we go..." I let out as I pull into the school's parking lot.
I'm so not ready for this.
***
Today has been so shit, so many people who didn't even like Dani and even bullied her have been coming up to me, apologising and saying shit like, 'She'll be missed' and 'I really liked her' as if they knew her. Fucking bitches.
I'm going to study in the library as I don't want to be in class, I informed my teacher and he said it was okay, and as I left, I notice Vada and Nick following after me.
"Hey— Woah, wait, Y/n, where're you going?" I hear Vada ask me,
"Library."
"Why, how come you don't wanna be in class?" Nick asks me, I shrug lightly.
"Because I don't think I can sit in that class after what happened." I answer, truthfully, turning to her and stopping. I notice Vada's eyes glance between mines, while I hear Nick sigh.
"But, Y/n... you need too. You're gonna start falling behind—"
"—No, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to go in that class, I don't want to be here. I wanna go home—!"
"—Come on, we have to at least try—" Nick tries to reason with me,
"—And I did, Nick! I did. I've tried! I've tried so hard to go back to normal but I can't! I witnessed my sister die!" I remind him, pushing him away from me. Earning a scoff and offended look, "I can't just forget about that!" I angrily say,
"Maybe you have a purpose or something—?" Nick tried to suggest, I scoff, beginning to laugh softly when in reality, I'm on the verge of tears.
"—A purpose?" I question, letting tears fall. "S—So, what? My sister didn't have a purpose of living?" I ask him, standing close to him. Vada stepping in between us and trying to move me back but I don't budge.
"No, that's not what I meant—"
"Then, what—? How—? How can you stand there and say that I have a purpose of living through something traumatic and the kids who died didn't? Is that what you're saying, now?" I ask, getting in his face. Nick stares me down, "There's no reason, Nick! There's no reason." I begin to explain to him, he glances at Vada for help but when I lightly slap him, he gasps, turning to me. "There's no reason that I... that I lived and my sister didn't! There's no reason that they died! There's no reason that those people died and we survived! It happened, certain people got shot, some people died!" I angrily explain to Nick, making him sigh as his shoulders fall.
"Okay, so clearly you haven't recovered—"
"—Oh, wow. Yes. Thank you... Nick." I thank him, sarcastically, "Thank you for stating the fucking obvious!" I begin to shout, "Let's give Nick a round of applause for being a doctor and realising that people don't recover in 11 fucking days." I say, angrily, before storming off.
"Y/n." I hear Vada call on me,
"Leave me alone." I say, pushing the doors open with aggression. The door hitting into the wall, quickly slamming shut behind me. I walk to my car, getting in and quickly driving away.
Fuck school, fuck me, fuck my whole entire fucking life!
*****
Vada's POV:
I'm really worried about Y/n, I haven't seen her in 3 days and the last time I saw her, it was when she stormed out of school after scolding Nick, she had a point to be honest but I felt bad. I couldn't catch up with her and I really like her, I have like the fattest crush on her and it sucks to see her so broken down.
Nick is driving around right now and I'm with him. I'm not gonna lie, we have no destination, we really don't. He indicates left and begins to slow down, turning left. I glance to see Y/n walking down the street. What is she doing?
"Nick, pull over." I state, sounding panicked.
"Wha—?"
"—Nick, pull over!" I shout at him, he panics and pulls over. I immediately pull over and unbuckle my seatbelt, I get out and walk over to her.
"What're you doing?" I ask her, worried.
"Leave me alone."
"Y/n—"
"—Fuck, Vada. Leave me alone!" I hear Y/n shout at me,
"I'm worried about you—"
"—There's no reason—" I hear her deny, shaking her head. Not even looking at me.
"—There's every reason to be worried about you, Y/n/n—"
"—Fine. It fucking sucks and I feel shit that others died, you know! Like—Like why was it me? Why—Why did I fucking survive? I didn't deserve it!" I hear her exclaim, someone who walks past glancing at her confused. "Hey, fuck off." She shouts at the person, "Keep fuckin' walking." She shouts, the person glancing back at her then facing ahead, shaking his head. I roll my eyes and look at Y/n, seeing her look at the ground, hearing her exhale softly and trying to calm herself down.
"Come on," I say, softly, offering my hand. She takes it and I direct her to my car, I open the door for her and she climbs in, I release her hand from mines and shut her door. I walk around and sit in the other side, sighing and getting in then shutting my door. I look over at her, "Do you wanna talk about it or... or something?" I ask her, speaking slowly as I don't know what to say. I feel so lost and my mind is so hazy. I notice her staring at Nick and Nick begins to drive, not saying anything. "Nick, can you take us to my house?" I ask him, politely. He sighs.
"Fine." I hear him say, quietly. I look over at Y/n and she rests her head on my shoulder, slouching in her chair as she stares into nothing and looks simply not there. She doesn't look good, she doesn't look the slightest bit happy, she looks like she's in such a depressive episode. How do I help her?
***
We get out of Nick's car and we go into my house,
"Hey, Honey, is that you home already?" I hear my mom shout on me, I glance around and I see my mom in the kitchen with Amelia.
"Hey, is it okay if Y/n comes in?" I ask her, she nods her head.
"Yeah, how she doing?"
"Not good." I whisper, going to get Y/n at the front door. Only to see her sitting on the front step, she sighs and runs her hand through her hair, repeatedly. Her hands staying in her hair. She looks so stressed out and I see Nick is gone. I open the door further, "Y/n," I call on her, nothing, "Y/n." I call on her, she turns to me and I beckon her inside, she stands up and comes inside. I shut the door behind her, "Come on, let's go to my room." I inform her, she nods her head, immediately holding my index finger with her entire hand. I feel my cheeks heat up, immediately wanting to hide my face so she doesn't see but I can tell she does. She offers a short smile and it makes me blush even more, I let her hand cling onto my index finger as I walk to my room and I open my door for her, she steps inside and I step in after her. Seeing Amelia peak down the hall and send me a wink, I roll my eyes and shut the door behind myself. I turn to Y/n, seeing her immediately wrap her arms around me. Beginning to cry. "Oh—" I let out, I cling onto her and hold onto her for as long as she wants, "What's going on?"
"I don— I don't know..." I hear her mumble between soft sobs, "I... I just I— I—I feel... I feel..." She hesitates, beginning to stumble on her words before she sighs, shaking her head, letting her shoulders fall. "ugh, I don't know." I hear her complain, I rest my head on the side of her head, resting my left hand on her thigh, my thumb stroking her thigh as my right hand rubs her back.
"Take your time." I whisper to her, she nods her head and her head slightly turns to me, my eyes glance between hers and my eyes immediately shoot to her lips.
"Vada." I hear her whisper, softly. I nod my head lightly.
"Mhm-hm?"
"Can... Can I confess something to you?" I hear her ask, whispering it to me like a secret. I nod my head, offering the best smile I can at the moment. I wipe her tears for her and she sniffles softly, "I... I really like you." I hear her confess, "Even before the... what happened. I really liked you, and I feel like if I don't say anything, I'm gonna go crazy because I don't know what to do. I really like you but I don't know if I'm gonna be good to you." She rambles to me, I begin to smile softly, placing both my hands on her cheeks.
"You are an amazing girl, and I bet you are an even more amazing partner to have." I compliment her, my eyes glance at hers for a moment before looking back at her lips, I notice her lean in and my eyes falter shut. I don't feel her lips against mine for a moment but then I feel them. I feel her lips against mines and I kiss her back, clinging onto her for dear life. I feel her finger rub mines in comfort as we continue to kiss. I feel her lean more closer to me as I pull back, letting her slightly hover over me. I feel her pull away, when I open my eyes, she's smiling and all my anxiety washes away. I kiss her cheeks then feel her begin to kiss all over my face.
"You really mean that?" I hear her ask me, I nod my head. Wrapping my arms around her and pulling her down. We lie down in my bed and she is cuddling into me, "I'm sorry for whatever bad happens in the future." I hear her apologise, "I'll apologise a lot as well, but... but I'm sorry if I ruin relationships for you. I know that I'm probably a bad girlfriend but I really do like you, and I need you— I need you so much but I also feel so lost." I hear her say to me, I nod my head along and place a kiss on her forehead. I then rest my index finger between her eyebrows and drag it lightly along the bridge of her nose, repeating it.
"You go for a nap, you're tired, you're drained. Go rest." I whisper to her, her eyes fluttering shut and in seconds, she's fast asleep. I've been friends with Y/n for what feels like forever, so, I know what makes her fall asleep easily.
I observe her features as she sleeps, she looks so beautiful, especially her eyes. I know they are shut right now but you know when someone cries and afterwards, underneath their eyes are a little puffy and red? For her, it looks kinda cute. She looks cute after crying as weird as that sounds.
I just wanna protect her with everything and the way she's clinging onto me, I can tell she wants too as well.
She's my protector.
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