Daniel, Max and Charles are now in the cool down room waiting for the podium ceremony. I'm still standing in front of the crush barriers with the team behind me. On the screen you can see the 3 of them in the room chatting about their race. Daniel and Max are discussing the fights they had on the track today and how much they both enjoyed it.
It feels like I'm experiencing this outside of my body. When Daniel and I met, his career almost seemed like it would end then and there. It wouldn't have changed a single thing for me, I would have loved our life together outside F1. But for him it would have felt like he had unfinished business. Well that's not the case now, his first race back at Red Bull and he will be on the top of that podium.
Charles gets called on the podium, the Ferrari team and fans cheering him on.
There's Max, waving at his team, Kelly looking up at him so proud.
I'm sure he would have preferred to be on the top step, but who knows he might also think about the Bahrein curse. Although I also know Max is way too much a down to earth kinda guy to believe those things.
"And the race winner for today Daniel Ricciardo!!!" I hear through the speakers.
There he is, in his Red Bull racing suit, his smile so wide, I think they can see it on the other side of the circuit. I can still see all his emotions that he has running through him in his eyes.
As he gets on the top step of the podium and the Australian national anthem starts to play his eyes find mine and he doesn't look away.
My heart is bursting with love and pride for this man, as he is standing there, listening to his countries anthem. After the anthem he takes of his shoe to fill it with the rose water champagne.
He drinks every last drop before filling it again so he can offer Max and Charles a sip.
Max tries to refuse, but Daniel gets his way so even though he's gagging, Max takes a small sip.
Charles tries to make a run for it, but in the end he also takes the shoe and drinks from it.
I think it's hilarious and it has been way too long since the last time he could do a shoey, he'd better not offer me some, because there's no chance I'm doing that.
Max and Charles shake their bottles, then both giving Daniel the full load. He just stands there and enjoys every second and every drop of it.
As I stand there, looking at him celebrate I realize, the whole world has just watched him rise again.
They thought he was done, he was only a charming funny guy who didn't deserve a seat for this year. Oh how he proved them wrong, they thought he left, but he never left. He just moved aside for a while. His own words have never fitted more perfectly than they do now.
They go back for the media obligations and I really need to sit down again, so I go to hospitality to get something to drink, I'm exhausted, but so happy.
I send Daniel a quick text so he knows where I am once he is done and then me and Kelly both sit down with a cup of tea.
That night there's a party in the hotel bar, even though I'm exhausted I decide to go there with Daniel, he deserves it. Besides we're flying home tomorrow, so I'll be able to sleep then.
Around midnight I'm sitting next to Michael as one of the few sober people around, laughing about the stuff that has been put on social media about us. Daniel is doing shots with his team and jumping around on the dance floor just having a blast. He asked me if I was ok first, but I told him to please enjoy himself. He's just going to have a hangover tomorrow.
There's a photo going pretty much viral of me leaning against Michael and he who has his arms around me while we were watching Daniels race.
"Oh wow look at this one, somebody is actually speculating if the baby is yours or Daniels." We are both just having a laugh, because of the ridiculousness of it all.
"Well unless we did something we both can't remember I highly doubt that." He laughs.
"According to Jenna I would remember shagging you." I wink and he actually turns red.
"Hopefully in a good way."
"Definitely in a good way. At least that's what she said." I pat his knee to reassure him.
"I would have been good for her you know? If she would have just given me a chance and herself to commit to somebody. I would have been able to make her happy."
I feel for him, I'll never understand why Jenna let him go, but I guess she has her own reasons not wanting to settle down.
"I know Michael. You're a catch for any woman. I'm sure you'll find the right one. The one you eventually end up with is going to be so lucky."
Peanut then decides to kick me so hard I flinch.
"You ok?" Michael asks me worried.
"Shit, yeah I'm fine. The little one in there just decided to use my internal organs as punching bags. Aah that hurts." I can actually see my bump moving.
Michael puts his hand there where he can also see something poking through my skin.
"Hey little one, behave yourself! You're hurting your mom, that's not very nice. Listen to your uncle Michael!"
As a respons he gets kicked against his hand.
"Feisty little man in there."
"Yeah I'm glad he's doing so well, but it would be nice if he didn't hurt me so much with his kicking. I think I'm gonna go to bed, I'm knackered, if I stay here I'll fall asleep on the table."
He gets up so I can get out from the booth we're sitting at.
I walk over to Daniel who is just throwing back another shot.
"Babe, enjoy the rest of the night, but I'm heading up, your son is really hurting me and I'm just exhausted."
He looks at me and I can tell he's definitely not sober anymore which makes me smile.
"Is our little girl causing you trouble? Let me have a word." He kneels down in front of me, facing my bump.
"Sweet little girl, it's daddy. You really have to give mommy a break. She needs to sleep and she can't if you keep hurting her. So be a sweet girl for me and go to sleep just as mommy. I love you baby girl."
He gets a soft push against his hand which feels a lot better than the kicks I have been getting so far.
"That's it sweetheart. Sweet dreams." He gets up a bit unsteady. "Do you want me to go with you?"
I shake my head, "no you enjoy the party, you deserve this. Just make sure you can still find your way to our room." I put my hand on his cheek, rubbing my thumb over his stubble.
"I love you my future world champion."
He's got his eyes closed as he leans against my hand.
"I'm nowhere near being a world champion, but I love you too. I won't be much longer."
After a loving kiss I go get my bag from where Michael is still sitting.
"I'll look after him to make sure he doesn't get too wasted." He says and I give him a peck on the cheek.
"Thanks, his room key is in his left pocket. Have fun bringing him upstairs."
He pulls his face in a grimace, "I'll make sure he drinks plenty of water before bringing him up. Goodnight Sky."
Back in our room I take a quick shower before putting on one of Daniels shirts which is now getting a bit snug around my belly.
"Just perfect. Soon I won't even be able to wear his shirts to sleep in anymore." I mumble to myself after getting in bed.
I turn to my side, because that's for now the most comfortable position to sleep in, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to bring my body pillow to Jeddah, because that makes sleeping a lot easier.
Peanut starts to move around a bit, replacing my internal organs again, so I try to sing the song we played when I was walking down the aisle in Monaco and eventually he settles and I can finally try to sleep myself.
About an hour later I hear a lot of stumbling and mumbling coming from the lounge.
I guess my husband is back, so I drag myself out of bed to see if he needs help. He does by the sounds of it.
As I stand in the doorway I see him trying to take of his shoes.
"Need a hand?" I ask, startling him so much he falls over.
"Shit." He's laying on the floor, holding his one shoe that is still on his foot.
"Come here you fool, I'll help you out."
With some effort I manage to get his shoes off and him to the bedroom where he drops on the bed.
I quickly help him out of his clothes and pull him back on his feet to brush his teeth.
"Do you feel sick or anything? Because then you can just sleep in the bathroom."
He shakes his head, "no I feel fine. I'm just a bit tipsy."
"Sure you are." He manages to brush his teeth and in the mean time I grab a waste bin just to be sure. I put it next to his side of the bed and I can only hope that if he gets sick he can find it.
Back in bed he turns over to me and pulls me in his arms.
"I love you so much baby."
"I love you too handsome, now sleep, tomorrow we're going home."
Before I finish my sentence he is already snoring and I sigh. This will be another night where I will probably miss out on sleep again.
He actually managed to get through the night without puking, but he did have a hangover from hell once he woke up.
We both slept during the flight home, spent some time at home and then flew to the UK for 2 days.
Jeddah was hot, so for me a bit uncomfortable, but the race was amazing. Max won this time and Daniel ended up second. Another great result for the team.
Melbourne has been even better, Daniel actually winning his home Grand Prix was really emotional for him and his family who also joined us there.
We flew to Perth after the race, because the Chinese Grand Prix is cancelled, so he didn't have a race until the end of April. We were really happy spending time with his family at home and it was so nice seeing Rain as well, she is also growing a bit, but she still has quite some time to go before her foal will be born.
We found out that Vanessa is still hospitalized in the mental institution. At least we don't have to be afraid she'll show up again.
While we were in Perth it was the anniversary of Shane's attack and death and I felt very weird that day. I mean if I hadn't taken the self defense classes I'm sure I'd be dead now. There's no way I would have been able to fight Shane off me long enough for the cops to arrive.
Daniel was a massive support that day, I didn't expect it to hit me as hard as it did, but honestly I barely had the time to process what happened.
My life got pulled in a rollercoaster from the moment I met Daniel.
He took me for a drive to have time together where we talked about that day and the weeks before that. He asked me about the relationship, because up till now I have only told him the bare minimum. It felt really good talking about it, Daniel was very understanding and supportive, he even took me out for dinner that night, just to end the day with something nice.
Once we got back home we had our 4D ultrasound which was nothing less than magical. Peanut just looks like he is finished and ready to be born. But at 34 weeks it's still too early, he needs to grow a bit more and his lungs need to develop further.
We discussed the Braxton Hicks with Dr Dubois and she did an internal exam just to make sure everything is still good.
"Everything seems fine, but I have to advise you not to travel anymore. Your body is telling you to take things easier, so it might be for the best to stay in Monaco. You really have to take a break, because maybe next time it won't be just Braxton Hicks anymore."
I put on a brave face in the car, but now we are back home and I just crumble.
"Baby, what's this? Why the tears?" Daniel pulls me in his arms, but my bump is now so big we can't even hug properly. Add raging hormones, lack of sleep and increasing aches and pains to the mix, I'm now sobbing.
"I thought I would at least be able to be there for Baku, but now you'll have to go alone and I have to stay here and I'm going to miss you so much and you won't be coming home in between Baku and Miami, so we won't see each other for 10 days."
If I would be able to think rationally I would know that we will be able to FaceTime and even though 10 days sound like a lot, it's not the end of the world.
But right now I can't think rationally and I'm just completely overwhelmed with emotions.
"I know baby and I will miss you too, but we can't put you and peanut in danger. If Dr Dubois says this is for the best then I think we really have to do what she says."
"I'm just so fat and ugly, you'll be around all those gorgeous woman who would love to have you. And then there's me, waiting at home, too fat to see my own fanny, I can't even shave myself anymore. It looks like an exploded beaver down there. Or at least that's what I can imagine, because it's not like I can check to see if I'm right."
I look at him and I can tell he's really trying not to laugh.
"Don't you dare laugh! It's your fault I look like this in the first place."
"As far as I can recall you were there as well. But baby hear me out. You are still the most beautiful girl for me. Knowing it's my baby in there just adds to that beauty. Besides you're not fat at all, you are a stunning pregnant woman."
I scoff when he tells me that, but the way he looks at me tells me I should stop and just listen.
"No woman I will meet when I'm away will even come close to you. Besides I love you, nobody else and I will never love anybody else. If you are afraid about how you look down there I can tell you now, you still look amazing. Do you really think a bit of hair would change that? If you want it to be shaved I can do that for you. But don't do it because you think that's what I want."
His hand is on my cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb.
"You'd do that for me? Oh god I'm being so unreasonable aren't I. I'm so sorry, you don't deserve this. I try to keep myself together, but it just got a bit overwhelming." I start crying again, but now because I'm just so grateful for him and because I was acting like a fool.
He sits down on our couch and pulls me on his lap. I want to get up to sit next to him, because I feel like I'm way too heavy to sit on his lap.
"Sit down, you're not heavy." He demands so I finally try to relax in his arms.
"You have been so strong throughout the entire pregnancy so far. You are allowed to have a little break down every now and then. You're almost 35 weeks pregnant. I understand things are getting more difficult now and I hate the fact that I'll have to leave you for a bit. But I also know you won't be alone. Kelly and Charlotte are here and as soon as I can I'll be on the plane back to you. I'm not going to stay away longer than I have to."
"When you're in Miami and labor starts, the chances are you won't be back in time you know that right?" I sigh. I'll be 37 weeks then, so it's not even that unlikely for it to happen then.
"Oh but she's not coming when I'm in Miami. We have an agreement on that. She will wait until I'm here before she comes." He sounds so convinced.
"You don't know that. He might decide to come while you're there."
He shakes his head vigorously.
"No because the other night while you were finally sleeping I felt her move under my hand, so I had a little chat with her, first I asked her to let you sleep and then I told her to stay in there until I am back and she gave me a high five.... Or a foot, I'm not really sure which part of her hit my hand, but she agreed so I know she's staying in there until I'm back."
I don't know how he does it, but he just made me fall in love with him all over again.
"So now about tomorrow. It's your birthday and our one year anniversary. I still can't believe you didn't tell me it was your birthday last year when I asked you to be my girlfriend."
"I didn't really feel like celebrating my birthday last year. And besides you and me making us official was the best present anyways. But what about it?" I say, I really don't care about my birthday, but I do care about our anniversary.
"I want to make tomorrow special, if you're up for it."
I try to find out what he has in mind, but he doesn't budge.
"Alright, I guess I'm up for it. I know you won't do anything crazy. At least I don't think you will."
He grins, "I won't, I just want tomorrow to be special. It's not everyday my wife turns 33. At least we'll be the same age for a couple of months again." He nuzzles my neck and I am practically purring with pleasure.
"It's about time you go find somebody younger then." I joke and he starts to nibble the sensitive skin under my ear.
"Not a chance. How about we take a shower and if you want I'll take care of your exploded beaver." He tickles me and I burst into laughter.
Not for long though, because I suddenly get up as peanut decides to push down on my bladder. Once I flushed Daniel comes in so we can take that shower together. He stands behind me onder the warm spray.
"Can I try something I've seen online. It is supposed to feel really good for you." He says and I nod, not having a clue what he's talking about.
He folds his hands underneath my bump and actually lifts it a bit.
"Oh my god, that feels so light suddenly. This is amazing." I sigh, he just lifts so much weight that my body has been carrying around the last couple of months. It feels like such a relief, not having to carry if for a bit.
"Oh baby I never realized how heavy this is. I am so proud how you are doing this without ever complaining about it."
I feel his thumbs caressing the bottom of my bump. He really has no idea how great it feels to have somebody 'take over' even if it's just for a few minutes.
"It's a good thing this bump grows gradually. It's not there at once, so I never really noticed how heavy it got until now. Just give me a heads up if you are going to let go again, so I can be prepared."
A few minutes later he slowly lowers my bump again so the weight is back on me, but him doing that for me was better than anything he has done for me so far.
He then takes my razor and gets on his knees in front of me. For a bit I am beyond embarrassed, here is a race winning F1 driver with millions on his bank account, shaving me because I don't want to look like an exploded beaver during labor.
The way he comforts me through it, eventually makes me relax and more than anything I'm so grateful.
"Thanks Daniel, you are the best. Honestly." I look at him as he gets up again.
"Baby, you are creating a human being in your body, our child. This is really the least I can do for you. I'm just so amazed by you."
We decide to order some Michael approved take out and stay in for the evening. It's nice to do a bit of cocooning with just the two of us.
When we go to bed he makes love to me so tenderly, only considering me and my satisfaction. He is able to take away all my insecurities with just the way he looks at me while we're making love. There's just so much admiration and love that shows in his eyes. I can only hope he sees the same in mine, because I feel exactly like that about him.
When he finally comes inside me, laying on our sides, he behind me, I feel the shivers running down my spine. He turns my head a bit so he can still kiss my lips. His hand is caressing my bump before sliding down in between my legs where our bodies are now one.
With his fingers he makes me cum again and again until he eventually releases himself inside me.
He doesn't have to tell me how much he loves me. He just showed me without words.
Still connected we fall asleep.