Jimin flops down onto the bed, breathing hard, slowly coming down from his high. He looks over at the other man in bed with him, gorgeous, sweaty, eyes hooded and tired.
"That was good," Jungkook breathes, smiling. "Like always."
"I agree," Jimin panted. "Thanks for the orgasm.
"Anytime," Jungkook sits up, getting out of bed and slowly putting on his clothes. "You know I always enjoy my time with you. Now, I gotta get going."
"You were only here for thirty minutes," Jimin complains with a smile. "You sure you don't want a coffee or anything?"
"I'm sure Min," Jungkook stares at him warmly as he finishes getting dressed. "I have an appointment, I was just lucky you were on the way. I'll see you this weekend anyways, with Yoongi and Hobi, don't miss me too much~"
"Asshole!" Jimin giggles, throwing a pillow at him. "Makes it sound like I have a crush on you. Get back to the friend zone, know your place."
"Ouch," He jokes. "I'll step back then Friendo...see you then, thanks again."
"You can bust open my biscuit any time~"
"You watch too much Big Mouth!" Jungkook sighs as he walks to the door.
"So do you since you know what that's from!"
Jungkook laughs. "I love a country breakfast!"
"Shut up!"
"By Min!"
Jimin hears the door close, and huffs out a laugh. Jungkook was just amazing. Ever since Jimin met him a few weeks ago, he has had that much more fun, and felt that much better. He was so glad that dumb pick-up line worked. It was so stupid, but it still got Jungkook out of his jeans and let Jimin slide into his genes.
A week ago Jimin called his frequent partners, two other guys, and said he wanted to end things, he didn't need them anymore. And forget one night stands. He had never met someone who was so sexually compatible with him, and Jungkook is always around. All he wants is Jungkook.
On top of it all, he's a pretty good friend. He wasn't friendly with his other partners, they knew what they were there to do. But Jimin and Jungkook had a mutual friend, so the fostering of their own friendship was much easier, especially since Yoongi kept inviting them both out, now that he knows they get along. Sure they've never hung out as friends alone, but Jimin didn't feel any way about it.
They were friends, they slept together. They were the epitome of friends with benefits. And Jimin loved it.
He really liked being around Jungkook. And he loved when they hooked up, the chance to learn the ins and outs of his stunning body, but he didn't need it to enjoy his time with him. All he knows is he wants to be around him often.
Jimin already kind of misses him.
*
"Thanks for inviting me out again Yoongi, I've been desperate for a more active social life," Jimin hugs his best friend. "Work has been killing me."
"It's really all Hobi," Yoongi deflects, but he hugs back warmly nonetheless. "Sometimes I wonder if he likes you and Jungkook more than I do."
"Aw, I know how much you love me," As if he were summoned, Jungkook comes up, giving Hoseok a hug first. "But if I'm being honest, I might love Hoseok more than I love you."
"Everyone does," Yoongi shrugs nonchalantly, despite Jungkook's obvious joking tone, letting Jimin and Jungkook switch boyfriends for greeting hugs. "I mean I hate hiking, and here we are, hiking. All because I can't say no to him."
"Remind me never to fall in love," Jimin chuckles, moving to hug Jungkook. "It's dangerous."
Jungkook's hug is so warm. Jimin has been told countless times that he was a good hugger, but he brushed it off. After all, he had never truly met a good hugger, all hugs from loved ones were equally nice. But then he got his first hug from Jungkook. And suddenly he understood.
"Hi Kook," Jimin greets as they pull apart. "Did you miss me?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing," He smirks, playful.
"Oh?" Hoseok inquires. "Have you been hanging out together? You guys seem awfully close for two people that just met."
"We hang out a couple times a week," Jimin says simply. "Hit it off at Yoongi's birthday, and decided to be friends. I was serious about being in desperate need of a social life."
"Oh, cool," Yoongi remarks. "I guess it makes sense. It's easy for people with mutual friends to become friends themselves."
"Woah, what an epiphany," Hoseok teases. "We're all here now, so let's go. The waterfall at the top is so pretty! I hope you don't mind that a big reason I brought you two is to help carry Yoongi down if he gets dramatic."
"You're so mean," Yoongi whines, setting off first.
"Yeah but I love you," Hoseok quickly catches up to him, pecking his cheek.
"They're so gross," Jimin scrunches his nose, but he smiles despite it all. "All weird and in love."
"Dating is fun," Jungkook shrugs, as they begin their walk, side by side. "I can see the appeal. Come on, you have to also. Haven't you ever dated?"
"I haven't even been on a first date," He confesses. "I've never wanted to. And if any of my sexual partners told me they had feelings for me, I've quickly cut them off. I just can't deal with it. Romantic feelings are just so...mushy, so complicated. I'm glad Yoongi and Hoseok are happy together...but, for now at least, for a long while yet, I physically can't imagine having feelings for anyone. Which is why I'm glad we're just friends. I like being your friend. I'm glad Yoongs and Hobi gave me reason to be your friend."
"I like being your friend too Min," Jungkook pats his shoulder. "And I like the bonuses I get for being your friend."
"Shut up," Jimin pushes him playfully. "Wanna come over tomorrow?"
"You wanna come over tonight?" Jungkook counters.
"Geez, are you never not horny?" Jimin murmurs, but he can't help but find it kind of cute, oddly enough. He's glad Jungkook always wants him around. "We're going to be exhausted after the hike. I'm gonna wanna go to bed."
"You could still come by," Jungkook gives him a look. "In case you change your mind."
"I want to sleep in my own bed."
"Well then I could-"
"Alone," Jimin giggles. "So clingy. Am I really that good?"
"Don't flatter yourself," He laughs as well.
"Hurry up!" Yoongi calls from ahead. "You guys are so slow!"
Jimin dashes so he's right behind them, Jungkook on his heels. The path narrows, so, with Yoongi in the lead, they walk in a single file line.
"You're welcome," Jimin whispers behind him.
Jungkook gives him a look. "For what?"
The shorter smirks. "The view."
Jungkook's eyes dart downwards for just a second. "Ah." Louder, he says. "The view is really nice."
"Isn't it?" Hoseok beams. "I've wanted to go on this trail for so long. I love nature."
The two in the back laugh among themselves.
It took a couple hours to hike up the trail. Throughout the hike, the group would converse as a whole, or instead have conversations in pairs. This was the longest time Jimin and Jungkook had spent together—well, awake anyways—and Jimin learned a lot about the younger. He's truly finding it hard to not want him around all the time...which is something he's never felt before. The man was just so damn charming.
"...Hey, maybe you should come over tonight," Jimin says as they sat for a water break. "Just in case I change my mind. No promises though."
"You're an odd man Park Jimin," Jungkook makes a face. "But you've made the right decision."
The smaller laughs. "I'm allowed to change my mind. Maybe I just want a good old-fashioned sleepover."
"Ah, okay," Jungkook plays along. "Are we gonna have a pillow fight?"
"In your dreams," Jimin nudges him.
"Oh, we're doing very different things in my dreams," Jungkook's voice is low, deep.
"Just a heads up, I am going straight to sleep when I get home."
"That's fine, I'm patient~"
Jungkook makes him feel warm. He's so happy to have a friend like the younger. Yoongi truly has the best taste in friends.
*
Before he could comprehend it, Jimin had known Jungkook for two months. It happened out of nowhere. One second he was an attractive new face, a friend of his friend. Now he's one of Jimin's favorite people.
Jimin thought so highly of Jungkook. He was just funny, and kind, and all those good things. He made Jimin feel fuzzy all over, no one had done that before. It had to be because it was the first guy he slept with that he was also friends with. That was the only thing he could think of.
After two months he was still completely satisfied with Jungkook as well. Usually around this time, he'd get kind of bored, and search out for someone else. But he didn't want to. He only wanted Jungkook. And...for some reason, he wanted Jungkook all to himself as well. He's never felt possessive over anyone before, that would be hypocritical, after all. But when he thought of Jungkook with someone else, his stomach went in knots.
Right now, Jimin laid in Jungkook's bed, playing with the taller's hair. The touch was tender, softer than anything Jimin typically did. He just wanted to do it. He liked touching Jungkook is all sorts of ways.
The two make eye-contact. "Hey...Kook?"
"Yeah?" His voice is soft, it's late, and they're both tired. "What's up?"
"Are..." He struggles with the words for some reason. It's nothing crazy, it's not like he's asking him out! "Are you seeing anyone else? I guess I should've asked earlier, it's good to be transparent. I'd hate to have a surprise STD."
Jungkook chuckles. "Oh! No. I...I actually haven't slept with anyone else since college. It wasn't really a priority for me. But then I met you, and suddenly sex sounded really good. How about you?"
"I had a couple partners when we first started sleeping together," Jimin blushed a bit. "But I liked you best. I didn't feel the need to keep anyone else around. Hey, don't laugh!"
"I'm sorry," He stifles the laugh coming out of his mouth. "I'm just so flattered."
"You should be," He pouts. "If you didn't make fun of me, I would've told you something else. Complimented you. Too bad."
"Aw, come on," Jungkook whines. "Tell me. We're friends, you can trust me. I won't laugh, I promise!"
Jimin sighs. "Fine Asshole. I like your body out of everyone I've slept with. I want it to be mine. I don't really want you to go around giving it to anyone else."
"O-oh," His smile drops, face pink. "Well, if we promise to be exclusive, I guess it can be yours. I don't really want to share either."
"Oh...okay," Jimin breathes. "I...I've never done this before."
"Well," Jungkook takes a deep breath. "You wanted me, didn't you?"
"Yes," Jimin practically growled, demeanor changing completely. A smile spreads on his face. He dives forward, placing a hand on Jungkook's bare thigh. "Your body is mine."
"And yours is mine~"
Then he leans in to kiss him.
"Kook," Jimin flinches back, pushing him away. "No."
"Oh," Jungkook looks down, embarrassed. "Yeah. I forgot you didn't like that."
"It's too intimate," Jimin tells him again. "Too romantic. I-I can't."
"I know," Jungkook sighs. "I'm sorry. Your lips are just really pretty."
"So is the rest of my body," Jimin's heart is beating so fast. He's not sure why he feels so anxious. "Focus on everything else."
"I will," He promises. "I'm sorry."
"Just don't do it again," Jimin takes a deep breath. "I can't."
"I know..."
"We don't act like friends enough, do we?" Jimin stares at him. "Maybe we should hang out, just the two of us. We've never spent time alone together without ripping each other's clothes off."
"Yeah, let's do it," His smile is soft. "What do you want to do?"
"Let's watch movies at my house," Jimin suggest. "I want to prove we can actually be friends without the element of sex. Even wen we're alone, we are able to exist as only friends."
"Okay, cool," Jungkook nods. "We'll be good at being friends, I'm sure of it."
"Me too," Jimin beams. "No funny business, alright?"
"Of course not," He makes a face. "Hey, Park Jimin? What do you take me for? I'm a great friend."
"Yeah," Jimin feels like he's suffocating. Why is he feeling this way? "I know you are."
"For now though," His smile turns into a smirk. "Let's celebrate becoming exclusive, hm?"
"You act as if you would need an excuse to fuck me," Jimin mocks, pushing the anxiety away. "Like you wouldn't have tried anyways."
Jungkook hits him lightly. "Just shut up and spread your legs."
Jimin throws his head back in a laugh, complying. Jungkook makes him so happy.
*
"Hey."
"Hi," Jimin greets, slightly breathless. He had been busy running around, cleaning. Jungkook would probably notice the random clutter more now that he wasn't getting dicked down. Plus...for some reason Jungkook made an effort to look really pretty today. Jimin definitely noticed that. "How are you, friend?"
Jungkook huffs out a laugh. "I'm good. Excited for today."
"Me too," Jimin invites him inside, letting him walk past. "I like what you did to your hair, Kook."
"Oh?" He subconsciously brings a hand to his hair. "Thanks. I got bored, so I decided to play around. YouTube tutorials are super helpful~"
"They definitely are," Jimin agrees. "How did people survive before YouTube?"
"Well, the mortality rate used to be much higher," He shrugs, flopping onto the couch.
Jimin laughs. "Yeah I guess that's true."
"Your place looks so nice," Jungkook notes. "How long did it take to pick up? You're so messy."
"Rude," Jimin complains, sitting next to him. "It didn't take that long. Everything has a place, I've just developed a bad habit of putting things in the wrong place. I don't usually have company over, so I don't think about cleaning. Maybe you should come over, motivate me more often."
"Am I not already?" Jungkook questions. "Am I not company?"
"No," Jimin crosses his arms, giving him a playfully nonchalant look. "We both know what you come for. I doubt you're thinking much about my clutter piles while we fuck around."
"True," He gives in. "But I do notice it now that it's gone."
"I'm glad," Jimin pouts. "I put in extra effort. Now, I asked you to do your movie research. Pick out a good first one, I'll get snacks."
"I brought my DVD collection~!" He sings.
"Who still uses DVDs!?"
"Jimin you have a DVD player."
"My mom bought it for me as a graduation gift," Jimin whines. "If I didn't have it out she'd yell at me. If her gifts aren't appreciated, she kind of spirals."
"Okay, well fine," Jungkook chuckles. "But it works out now."
"I guess," Jimin sits down with two big bowls, one with popcorn, one with Doritos. "Let me see the collection Kook."
They look through the bulky black book of DVDs, before landing on Tangled.
"You know I have Disney+," Jimin points out.
"No," Jungkook ruffles Jimin's hair. The smaller can't help but giggle, trying to shoo his hands away. When has anyone else made him laugh like that..? Never, he realizes. "We're using my copy."
"Fine," He can't stop smiling. "If you can figure out how the hell to use my DVD player. Cuz I don't know."
Jungkook did, in fact, know how to use his DVD player, and he started the movie. The two watched, and chatted, Jimin overall had an amazing time. It was even better than he expected.
During the flying lantern song, Jimin hears a sniff.
He turns over, to see tears in the taller's eyes. His heart suddenly becomes heavy. "Aw, Kook," He moves to wipe his tears with his hoodie sleeve. "What's going on?"
"W-well it's just so sweet," Jungkook explains with a shaky voice. "They're falling in love, but I know what's gonna happen."
"I've never pegged you as a hopeless romantic," Jimin laughs softly, continuing to dab his eyes. "...I've simply just pegged you."
"Dumb joke."
"Yeah well," Jimin looks down. "Low hanging fruit."
"I wanna be in love someday," Jungkook continues. "Stuff like this is just so cute. Stuff like this—obviously—makes me cry."
Jimin for some reason found that sort of endearing. "Yeah, well, I like this side of you," He pulls away his sleeve, only to see a faint brown smudge. "Oh, are you wearing makeup Jungkook?"
"My acne was really bad today, so I covered it up," Jungkook explains. "Then, since everything was already out..."
"It looks good," He compliments softly. "You look good."
"Yeah?" The younger stares.
Jimin nods. "Yeah. And it doesn't look too smudged or anything. You're all good."
"Okay," Jungkook huffed out a laugh. "Thanks. You're a good friend Jimin."
"It's nothing," Jimin's heart speeds up. Why are things so hard these days? He just wants to talk to Jungkook normally. "Just true. I'm glad we're friends too. I'm seriously grateful for you."
"Aw, I'm already crying," Jungkook lets Jimin continue to dry his tears. "Don't make me more emotional."
"I won't, I won't," He promises. "Quit your crying Kook. You know how the movie ends."
"Yeah but the journey to the happy ending is bumpy!"
They finish the movie, Jungkook with a huge smile that Jimin finds hard to look away from.
The pair chooses The Amazing Spiderman 2 next, learning that they both preferred the sequel, an unpopular opinion for sure. Jimin liked that they had so much in common.
After a couple minutes, Jimin realizes how close they are. Their thighs are touching, they must have subconsciously moved towards one another. Jimin knows they've been much closer before, but this isn't sexual closeness. And it's just not closeness he's experienced before. It's weird.
Jimin doesn't scoot away though. He obviously doesn't mind. He yawns, deciding to rest his head on Jungkook's shoulder.
"You double as a pillow," Jimin explains. "Isn't that convenient? Your muscles are a good cushion."
Jungkook laughs softly. "No problem Friendo."
Jungkook was just so cute.
Jimin's eyes widen as he realized what he just thought. Why was he thinking that? Moments from earlier in the day flash through his mind. What was he thinking then?
He thinks things about Jungkook he realizes he doesn't think about other people, that was a pattern he only realized existed now. When's the last time he's ever thought of someone as pretty? Hot, sexy, maybe gorgeous occasionally, but pretty?
His heart was pounding, as thoughts ran through his head. Jungkook was his friend...but he didn't feel the same about him that he did Hoseok or Yoongi. It was because he was sleeping with him, right?
But he's not supposed to feel based on sex. It's just supposed to be fun! His feelings about Jungkook, and Jungkook's body, should stay sperate. They're not merging, they can't! They're...not.
Right?
"I-I need to go to the bathroom," Jimin murmurs, standing up quickly, without looking at him. "I'll be right back."
He dashes off, closing the bathroom door behind him and locking it. With his back against the door, he slides to the ground, wide-eyed. Jimin covers his mouth with a hand, his brain letting the thought in he refused to think. A tear rolls down his face.
He likes Jungkook, doesn't he?
Jimin doesn't want to like him! That's terrifying, it changes things. Sex is easy. You get rejected? No big deal, there's an infinite amount of other people he could find.
But now...he likes a person. He likes Jungkook. His friend, the only person he's ever been exclusive with. Emotional rejection is too hard. So he can't say anything, he doesn't even know if he wants to date Jungkook. Oh man, does he?
Jimin still doesn't want to kiss him...but he likes him. Deep down, he knows. He has never in his life felt real romantic attraction to someone. But somehow, he knows what this is.
Because of that, things could change, they already have! Here is Jimin, having a crisis and a half, over feelings. Feelings. God it sounds so dumb when it's put that way!
"What am I going to do?" He murmurs aloud. This was just too difficult.
He knew he couldn't be gone for too long, so he wiped his eyes, and took a few deep breaths. Time to...well, face the boy he has a fucking crush on.
When he opened the door, he heard more than sniffling, he heard hushed sobs. Quickening his pace, he rushes into the room to see Jungkook staring at the screen. Upon hearing Jimin, he turns, face all messy and red.
"H-he couldn't save Gwen," He choked out, a new wave of tears racking his body.
"Oh you lovely dummy," Jimin goes to the couch, kneeling on the soft surface and wrapping Jungkook up in a hug. "You've seen this movie before, you knew it was gonna happen. You said you preferred this one!"
"Yeah, but it's still so sad!" He argues. "I love the pain, but shit it hurts."
"Lucky for you I can work with a masochist," He tries to joke, but it comes out soft and warm. The affect Jungkook has on him is monumental.
Jungkook just holds onto him tighter. Jimin's heart is so warm, but in so much pain. He doesn't want this...and yet the feelings are here. And so he doesn't let go of Jungkook, despite the gnawing dread in his belly.
*
It changed everything.
Jimin's feelings for Jungkook changed everything about their relationship. He didn't want it to! In fact, he wanted to forget about his feelings, let them go off and die on their own.
But those thoughts were invasive, and they were here to stay.
Sex was no longer easy. Sure it still physically felt good...but Jimin couldn't enjoy it. Not when his damn heart was crying over the fact that Jungkook was solely here for Jimin's body. His heart wanted Jungkook's...and shit, Jimin was starting to want it too.
So sex with Jungkook was difficult. Then, why not break it off and go back to before? Well, Jimin thought about that too. But he couldn't do it. He doesn't want anyone except Jungkook, not in any way shape or form.
The day he realized how badly he wanted Jungkook's heart, mind, body, everything, was an awful day.
But it happened, and Jimin figured out that he wouldn't be happy in any other situation. It kept him awake at night. Slowly he realized more and more what he wanted. It was all gross romantic stuff. He cringed as he thought about how much he wanted to hold his hand, or cuddle, or call him by cute names. And...yes, shit, Jimin wanted to kiss him! He's never wanted to kiss anyone before now...it was weird.
He's let this go on for weeks now, almost a month. Jimin truly thought the feelings would go away eventually...but they really only got stronger. What Jimin felt for Jungkook was alive and passionate...which was embarrassing and terrifying.
He just didn't know what to do.
Jungkook was supposed to be here soon, and Jimin was scared. How long was he to stay in this destructive cycle? It seemed there was no ending in sight.
He looked himself in the mirror. He had dressed up a bit for Jungkook, just because he wanted to. Geez, he was acting like a schoolgirl with a crush on her friend! Jimin knew all these clothes were coming off very soon...but he still felt the need to try.
"You dumbass," He scolds his mirror image. "Look at all the trouble I'm going through because of you."
The Jimin in the mirror just pouts back.
He steps away with a big sigh, groaning into his hand. "How the fuck am I going to fix this?"
*
Another month went by, and it was torture. Sex truly became void of any fun for Jimin. In fact, he dreaded it every time Jungkook came over. But he didn't stop, he couldn't. He just needed Jungkook, and this is how he knew how to get him. Just...sex.
But damn it, he wanted more! He was going crazy, and it was getting bad. The feelings weren't going away, and he has finally accepted that. It was too hard, keeping it to himself.
He needed to tell someone. He needed advice.
So he called Yoongi up after a lot of thought. He invited him to his home, saying he needed help, because he trusted him more than anyone. As reserved as Yoongi was, he was dependable, and he was at Jimin's house in less than 20 minutes. Jimin knew how much Yoongi loved him.
Before Jimin could even say hello, Yoongi pushed past him, into the apartment. "You never need my help with anything," He doesn't even greet him. "Park Jimin, are you dying? Are you in trouble with the law?"
"...Well hi Yoongi," Jimin shuts the door. "Good to see you too."
"Sorry..." He sighs. "This is just weird. You're just so independent. I've never seen you ask for help."
"Well...I've never had this happen before," Jimin stalks to his couch, flopping down, his head falling into his hands. "I don't know what to do, and it's fucking stupid!"
"Yeah, we're all dumb," Yoongi sits next to him, hand on his shoulder. "It's why we go to other people for help. We've all got pieces of the whole truth, it's why we gotta share."
"How do you just say stuff like that?" Jimin groans. "You're so wise."
"Nah," Yoongi deflects. "It's just who I am. Anyways, I'm here to help, what's on your mind?"
"Please don't judge me for it," Jimin suddenly turns red. "I've been dealing with this for a long time, and it's um, it's legitimately hard for me. So please just listen."
Yoongi just nods. "You wouldn't have called me if it didn't trouble you. Just, go on. I'll listen."
"Good, thank you," A huge weight gets lifted off his shoulders. "Alright then. Well...okay. I am...um, sorry."
"It's fine," Yoongi is a warm, strong presence. "Take your time."
"Right," He takes a deep breath. "I...have been struggling. Because...shit, because I have feelings for someone! There, geez, I said it. I have feelings. Yeah, that's it, it's just that. And it's dumb, but I've been freaking out for over a month, and I don't know what to do."
Yoongi is quiet for a moment.
Jimin hides his face again. "I know it's stupid. But you're wise and in love and I don't know what to do."
"It's not stupid," Yoongi assures. "You've never felt this way before?"
"Never," He shakes his head. "I always thought that maybe...someday I'd settle down. I never hated the idea. But now I have feelings for someone, and I'm not ready, but...shit, I want him so bad. And I want him to want me."
Yoongi smiles a small smile, and Jimin knows it's genuine, and that he's happy for Jimin, but it still embarrasses him. "That's normal Jimin. You know that."
"I do," He sighed. "But I'm not used to it."
"That's fine," He shrugs. "People experience different things at different times. Now, do I know this person?"
"...Yeah. You do," Jimin hangs his head. "You really do."
Yoongi narrows his eyes. "Oh?"
"Yeah," Jimin's heart feels like it's trying to escape from his chest. "Promise me you won't tell him?"
"We're adults Jimin," Is all he says. "What would I benefit from telling him?"
"You're right, I'm sorry, I'm freaking out," He takes another deep breath. "It's Jungkook. Yoongi, it's Jungkook. I really like him and I don't know what to do."
"Jungkook?" He clarifies. "I...I knew you guys were getting kind of close, but I guess that still surprises me."
"Um, yeah," Jimin admits. "Jungkook and I are, uh, closer than we've really alluded to."
Yoongi waits for him to go on.
"...We've been sleeping together," He confesses.
The older's eyes widen softly. "O-oh. Yeah, I did not know that. Um, for how long?"
"We hit it off the night of your birthday," He explains. "We slept together the next day. And we've just never stopped."
"Ah, okay," Jimin could tell Yoongi was trying to hide his surprise. It almost fooled the younger.
"He...you know how I am," Jimin huffs out a laugh. "I like to fuck around, just for fun. I've had a couple semi-stable sexual partners, but nothing serious. Without going into detail, Jungkook just made everyone else seem mediocre, just because we're that compatible. And before I knew it, boom, I had romantic feelings for him. I shouldn't known when I realized I wanted him all to myself! We decided to be exclusive Yoongi...I've never done that before. I've never only wanted one person."
"Well, Jungkook is a good guy," Is all Yoongi can think of to say. "At least you found someone good that you could be compatible with."
"But it's not enough!" Jimin sounds helpless. "Now I want more than that. I want...him. Shit, that's so embarrassing."
"It's not," Yoongi argues. "Jimin it's not."
"It is to me!" Jimin huffs. "I think about it, and a cringe. I'm embarrassed, and I don't like thinking about wanting to date him. But I can't stop! And I want to do that stupid gross couple stuff I always call you and Hobi out for!"
"But still," His voice softens. "It's not anything to be ashamed of. I'm just telling you that. You really like him, huh?"
"So much," He finally says, partially to himself. "More than I can even understand."
"Well," Yoongi gives him a look. "I'll be nice to you just this once. I think it's nice to see this side of you. In my opinion, I think you two are a good fit. Both really good for each other. You should tell him how you feel."
"I can't do that," His heart beats faster. "I can't, that's too hard Yoongi. He wants my body, not me. Simple."
"But you don't know that," Yoongi points out.
"I do," He groans. "He calls me Friendo. I am a friend who he sleeps with, that's all I am. And it's really hard..." He frowns a deep frown. "Knowing that is really hard. If I tell him, what little we have right now could just be gone. I'm unhappy with how things are...but I'd feel worse if it was all gone."
"Listen, if he rejects you, you'll still have his friendship," Yoongi comforts. "That's how Jungkook is. He's never let feelings like that get in the way of things. And if he rejects you, you have closure, you can get over him faster. Or he likes you too, and he wants to date you."
"Which is scary," Jimin whispers.
"Which is good for you!" He corrects. "Jungkook is a great choice for a first love. I've known the kid since he was a toddler, and I know you two would be great for one another."
"First love," Jimin cringes. "Geez, that's daunting."
"Jimin...I really think you should tell him soon," Yoongi advises. "I think it's good for you. You'll win either way. You'll get closure, or you'll get Jungkook. How do you think Hoseok and I started going out? I asked him."
"Yeah, but..." Jimin starts. "You...shit."
"Take some time," Yoongi smiles a small smile. "But you can do this."
"Yoongs..." Jimin softens at his tone, looking at him, adoration plastered across his face.
"Oh stop with that," He immediately tenses up, shy. "I'm just being practical. If sitting on this information makes you unhappy, don't sit on it anymore."
"...God I hate that you're right!" He complains. "But...thanks. For, um, pointing all that out. You're a good friend. I don't know how to repay you for this. I...I think I'll do it. I'll tell him. Someday at least."
"It's nothing," He waves a hand. "Just buy me lunch and call it a day."
"Oh, sure," Jimin can't help but smile a bit. "What do you want?"
*
Jimin opened his front door, revealing Jungkook. In the few weeks since he and Yoongi talked, damn he's just gotten that much more beautiful. "Hey."
"Hi Min," His smile is like daggers through Jimin's heart. It has such a hold on him. "Good to see you. I think this is the longest we've gone without seeing each other since we met."
"A week isn't too long," Jimin huffs out a laugh, inviting him in.
But Jungkook gives him a playful, piercing look. "For me it is."
Jimin has to remember to swallow. His voice! Shit, everything about the taller is addicting. He just needed him, all of him.
"Well," Jimin tries to joke. "I should've known. I've never known you not to be horny."
"Because of you," Jungkook is slowly guiding them backwards, into the living room. "You awoke a hunger in me that I've never had before. You're just that good Park Jimin."
So he wanted to start right away? Alright, Jimin could do that. "Yeah, I know." But he's not super into it today. He just really doesn't feel like casual sex anymore. He hasn't for a while.
And Jungkook, somehow, notices. "Hey...Min, are you alright?"
"Yeah," He sighs. "Yeah, just stressed about shit. You know how it is."
"Oh," Jungkook nods. "Oh. I can help with that. Relax Park Jiminie. I'll make you feel good~"
He starts to inch Jimin's shirt up, and the smaller panics. He doesn't want this anymore, shit, he doesn't want this! He can't do it. He jerks back.
Jungkook's eyes widen, full of concern. "Jimin?"
"I can't do this anymore," He confesses. "I am so sorry, I can't. I'm done."
"O-oh," Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. "Done with...with me?"
"With us hooking up," He screws his eyes shut. "I don't want it anymore."
"...Jimin did I do something wrong?" He murmurs. "Did I hurt you?"
"No! Oh my God no, you're amazing Jungkook, you've never done anything wrong to me ever. I just..." He clears his throat. "Well, for lack of a better term...I fell in love."
Jungkook is silent for a second. "Oh...oh Jimin, that's great." He's trying to sound happy, but Jimin can sense something is off. "I'm really happy for you, love is a really good feeling."
"Since I had these feelings, it's just been harder to sleep with someone casually," Jimin's voice is barely audible. It's so hard to talk about this with him. "So I'm sorry I had to cut it off like this."
"No, no," Jungkook assures quickly, grabbing his hand. "Jimin don't worry about me. This was really fun, but if you don't want to do it anymore, I don't either. We'll still be friends. I want you to be happy, I really hope the one you love loves you back, you deserve nothing less. I'm sure it'll be easier now because you're not sleeping with someone else."
"Yeah," Is all Jimin says.
"I...I'm going to go home Jimin," The younger tells him. "I respect your decision, and I am truly happy for you. But I'm sad it's ending, and I need a little time to adjust to this. I hope that's okay."
He says nothing. He's too scared.
Jungkook sighs. "Alright. Goodbye Jimin."
He turns away, and Jimin panics once again. He doesn't want him to go, he needs him. Quickly he grabs his wrist. "Wait!"
Jungkook stops, facing him, confused. "What?"
Jimin stares at him for a second, heart racing. Then he steps forward. They continue to stare, noses practically brushing.
And then Jimin kisses him.
This was it. Now everything would change, whatever comes out of this. His words failed him, but his body prevailed. He just needed Jungkook to know. He hopes he understands.
The smaller boy pulls away, breathing hard even though what they were doing wasn't much. Just beyond lips touching lips. Barely.
"B-but," Jungkook stutters, eyes boring into Jimin's. "I-I...you've never kissed anyone before. Too intimate."
"It is too intimate," Jimin whispers. "To kiss anyone I'm not in love with."
After a few seconds of staring longer, Jungkook hugs him tightly, holding him to the point Jimin almost feels crushed. He hides his face in Jimin's necks, and this closeness, this type of closeness, is making Jimin go wild. This is what he's wanted for so long.
"Jimin, I like you so much," The taller confesses, voice muffled. "I've liked you so much for so long."
"I like you too," Jimin blinks, getting emotional for some odd reason. "I do. I've never liked anyone before in this way, but I know I like you."
"I have been so scared," Jungkook admits, pulling his head back. "I remember what you said. You cut off any partner that had feelings for you. And then what the fuck did I go do? Then we decided to be exclusive, and I got kinda hopeful, but then nothing came of it...so I decided I was okay with this situation, because I...I just really wanted to be with you."
"I did too," It was so nice getting this off his chest. "So you liked me when we were watching those movies? Is that why you dressed all nice that day?"
"Oh," Jungkook blushed. "You noticed?"
Jimin nods bashfully. "You looked really pretty that day. It was the first thing I noticed. Maybe that's what helped me finally realize how I felt that day. And then soon I wanted all of you, and sleeping with the man I wanted so bad but, who I thought then, didn't want me in any way except physical was crushing. I was going crazy Jungkook, I wanted you so bad."
"Jimin take me," Jungkook grabs both his hands. "My body, my mind, my heart, everything. You can have it all, as long as I get you."
Jimin can't help but smile. "You've had me for a long time."
"...You make me so happy," Jungkook leans in to kiss him again.
Their lips are only together for a second before once again, Jimin steps back, anxious.
"I-I'm afraid of commitment," He blurts out before Jungkook can say another word. "And I don't know how to be a good romantic partner. B-but I want to be, because I really like you, and I want the best for you, and I don't know if I'm that, so-"
"Jimin," Jungkook stops him, voice calm and sweet. "Please don't worry. Just talk to me. I'm flawed too, everyone is. But if we talk, we can help each other. Just be transparent, and try your best. I don't expect you to be perfect, I promise. I know this is your first time with this kind of relationship. But I also know you. Sweet, caring, honest Park Jimin. I trust you."
"Okay," Jimin whispers. "I...this is scary for me. But I want this."
With a smile, Jungkook kisses his forehead. "You're adorable. I want this too. And we'll go as slow as you need to be comfortable."
Relief flooded through him, washing away part of the anxiety he had. "Then...then you don't mind us taking a break from sex? I just need to get used to this all, these feelings. Sex is just too confusing while I'm figuring this all out."
"Of course," He doesn't skip a beat, surprising Jimin. "The only reason I was so upset when you said you didn't want to sleep together was because I'm crazy about you, and I thought you were in love with someone else."
"No," Jimin squeezes his hands, shy. "It's you. I like you."
Jungkook can't help but hug him again. "I literally can't let you go. I'm just so happy. Can...can I take you on a real date tomorrow? Just talking, and holding hands, and perhaps a few kisses?"
Jimin laughs. "I think a few kisses on the date would be fine. In fact," He grabs his jaw, bringing him in again. "A couple kisses today is okay too. Just, because, um, we've been waiting so long."
Jungkook beams. "I'd be okay with that."
They're back together, and Jimin is filled with joy. "I...I think this is better than sex. I'm so much happier."
"I am too Min," Jungkook nuzzles him in the cheek. "I'll try to make you your happiest."
"I will too," Yoongi was right, the risk was so worth it. "I promise."
A/N: I really like this story, I think it's one of my favorites that I've done recently.
Also for anyone who thinks Jimin was being dramatic finding out he liked someone, that's based in realism. Cuz I do that too. In fact one of my freakouts is documented in one of my author's notes. Don't look for it.
Anyways I was gonna upload this on Wednesday, but then I got a bit sick, and lightheaded so I couldn't look at the computer screen without feeling dizzy and sick and all that. Then I was gonna upload on Thursday but I ran out of time. Then I was gonna upload over the weekend, because I was on vacation and I was gonna have time to relax and do my own thing, bUT what I didn't realize is I went back in time to 1983 and had basically no wifi, so I couldn't there
But now it's Monday, and I just got home, and the first thing I did was open up my laptop and start writing this author's note. I've had this tab open for almost a week now, the story has been sitting here chilling while it waited for the author's note to come into fruition, but we are here now, and all is well, and I am going to write the hell out of this author's note.
It's been a whirlwind these past few weeks. I've been so busy I don't even know where to start. It really was nothing special except for this past weekend where I went to the ocean, just lots of meetings, but before that I really just stayed home and did nothing.
I feel like I've been writing more. I really like the story I've been working on. It wasn't even my idea, which is why I'm so glad I've liked writing it. Hopefully I'll finish it within these next few days, but I've been too busy reading recently. I finished two books today. Granted one was a Warrior Cats book, but still.
I'm not the only Warrior Cats ARMY, one of my moots on Twitter likes the series too! And she started reading them in adulthood! They may have been made for younger readers, but they're still good as an adult, and I will stand by that!
Anyways, I need to keep writing after this, hopefully I'll have time, I have a meeting late this night and a class to take, but hopefully I get to write today. I really want to. But I'm also gonna be starting another book today, so we'll see.
I've been playing the sims a lot (no surprise) and I finished the 100 Baby Challenge. You should check out my books about my 100 kids. I find it fun, my sims are gorgeous. But now that I've finished that, I'm doing a 100 cats challenge. I have nine cats so far, and they're adorable.
The first cat of mine was a calico so I named him Jimin. The others are named Monka, Russetfur, Tiger, Hudson, Rotisserie, Squirrelflight, Sandstorm, and Graystripe. There will be more. I'm almost 10% done. I'm trying to get more but my cats don't wanna make kittens. It's annoying ;-;
But it is fun, and I'm gonna get kittens if it's the last thing I do.
aNYWAYS I've been trusfrated recently. And I'll tell you why
Why is it that marriage and career have to be separate? Like for aspirations? Whenever you see someone in the media, it's either I only want to get married, I only dream of having a family, /or/ I'm career driven and want to advance in my life. Why not both??
I wanna be financially independent, yeah, but I do wanna get married. I just like the sound of it, you know? Both dreams are equally important to me, so I don't understand why it has to be one or the other. Finding a man doesn't mean I'm going to abandon my career for him. I'm excited for life. I'm gonna do a lot of things, travel and have cats and all that. I'm gonna have a job I love. And I am /also/ gonna get married to a man just as gorgeous and wonderful as I am. I am excited for that~
I want to see a movie with both! One person who equally wants both! That shouldn't be much to ask
That's all I wanted to say though. I'm very happy, just in general. I'm very happy I'm happy. I have really good friends, who I don't have to be worried whether or not they actually want to be my friend, I have a great family, I'm actively enjoying hobbies that give me joy...a year ago I never thought I'd be here, but I'm just really happy.
I hope you all can be really happy too.
And I hope you have a wonderful day.
I love you guys!
I'll be back at some point lol
-Mikayla