I wake up feeling a bit nauseous, I grab the crackers I have on my nightstand and nibble on them before even considering getting out of bed.
I do really need to pee, but I've been peeing like crazy lately.
The sun is peeking in through the massive window and I see the hills of LA. We arrived yesterday and my entire sense of time is messed up. We left Japan on Monday, flying for over 10 hours, just be set back in time for 17 hours. So when we got here in the LA home it was a couple of hours earlier then when we boarded the plane.
Yesterday we just did some grocery shopping, but mostly had a relaxed day. Daniel did his training and I did a few laps in the pool just to keep moving.
Japan was nice, we did see a bit of the sights around the circuit, but nothing to crazy. The weekend wasn't the best race wise, but nothing has been able to get Daniels spirit down. He's glowing just as much as me since we had the positive pregnancy test.
He's already looking for ideas on the nursery in Monaco and he wants to hire a contractor to do some adjustments on this house so we have a nursery here as well.
If it was up to him we would have been out shopping for clothes and stuff already. I wanted to wait a bit longer. I feel positive about it, but I'm still a bit nervous sometimes that we'll jinx it if we start shopping.
But this afternoon we're going for a scan. Hopefully we will see a healthy little baby on the screen and then we will know how many weeks I am now.
I get up after finishing my crackers. Daniel is already out training, but I'm sure he'll be back in a bit. I felt him get out of bed, he gave me a soft kiss on my temple when he left and that has been a while ago.
After emptying my bladder with a relieved sigh I brush my teeth. I have been a bit nauseous every morning, but I haven't been throwing up as bad as I was the first time. I am exhausted though, it feels like I could sleep for 20 of the 24 hours every day. If I had the chance I'd probably sleep the other 4 hours as well.
I check myself in the mirror that is in the bedroom, it's a floor to ceiling mirror, so I can see all of me.
I turn to the side to see if anything is changing yet. It's probably just wishful thinking, but it looks like the part underneath my belly button is less flat. But I doubt that it's real. It does feel a bit more solid there. Not as squishy as it used to be. My breasts have grown even more. Much to Daniels delight.
He just can't touch them, because they are sore as hell, so he's now just admiring them from a small distance. We're going bra shopping after the scan, because mine feel like they are two cup sizes too small and it's not very comfortable. I tried to just wear some tight tops, but then they move too much which is pretty painful.
So new lingerie it is, but first breakfast.
I bought bagels yesterday so I put cream cheese on one with some roast chicken.
I'd rather have it with smoked salmon, but I've read you have to heat it up properly first and then I don't like smoked salmon anymore.
I was looking forward to the sushi in Japan, but I didn't dare eat it, so maybe next year.
"Hello my gorgeous girl." Daniel comes in just as I'm about to sit down to eat.
"Hey lover how was training?" He comes over for a kiss.
"It was good, it's always nice being able to train outside here."
He puts his big hand on my non visible bump. "Hi there little one. Today we're going to see you for the first time. Love you both so much."
He has turned into this soppy pile of mush and I can't wait to see what happens as soon as he meets our baby.
I already know if it's a girl, she will wrap him around her finger as soon as she comes out. He probably won't have eyes for me anymore if we have a girl. That's going to be his little princess.
And a boy will probably have his first kart, before he can crawl. And he will be the prince of the house. If it was up to Daniel that is. I really don't want our child to be a spoiled brat, so we will have to teach them they can't just have what they want, just because we're not poor.
"How are you feeling baby?" He asks me when he sits down with his own bagel.
"Not too bad, I was a bit nauseous when I woke up, but I managed to eat some crackers and that really worked." I've finished my bagel and now I'm sipping from the smoothie I made for myself. Michael told me what he put in it, so I can now make them as well.
He does make them when he's around, he's been pampering me since Singapore. Just as Daniel. If it was up to them they would wrap me up in bubble wrap.
"I'm glad things seem to be a lot easier so far compared to last time. You haven't been throwing up as much. I understand that being nauseous isn't fun either. But last time I was afraid you would end up in hospital dehydrated and starving. At least now you can eat and drink pretty normal." I never knew he was afraid of that last time. He was worried I knew, but it must have been a lot scarier for him than he showed me.
"I'm sorry I've put you through that fear, so far I'm doing well, it might still change, but we can only wait and see."
He gets up and gives me a kiss on the head, "I'm going to take a quick shower. We have to leave in 2 hours right?"
I check the time and nod. "Yeah that should give us plenty of time to get there. You never know how long it takes with traffic in the city. I'll be outside if you need me."
Taking my smoothie with me I settle down outside. My phone starts to ring and I see it's my dad FaceTiming me.
"Hi dad, how are you?" I ask him, he looks really good.
"I'm actually doing wonderful. And you. How are you feeling?" We called him and my brother when we got to Japan. He was very happy and I remember Pixie was jumping around that she would get a little niece or nephew.
"Not too bad actually. We will have our first scan today. Then we know how far along I am."
"How exciting. Maybe I should call some other time. I wanted to talk to you, but I don't want to cause stress." I raise my eyebrow. Why would he cause me stress.
"Don't you dare. Speak up. What's going on?"
"Well, I filed for divorce. I can't be married to your mother anymore. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that you are more important."
I'm shocked. My parents are getting a divorce.
"Wait what? Why now?"
"The way she reacted when I told her you were pregnant was the final straw. I can't be with somebody like her. I'm sorry I was blind before. You are my daughter and I should have stood up for you. Can you forgive me?" He has tears in his eyes and I am completely taken by surprise.
"I don't know what to say dad. I never saw it like that. So yeah I forgive you." I guess he has a point. He could have said something every time my mom made her comments. But he was never a very vocal man with a lot of backbone. So I'm pretty amazed that he made this decision.
"Do I want to know what she said?" I don't think anything she says can hurt me anymore. I've closed the chapter that is called my mom and I accepted the fact that she will never be in my life. And she sure as hell won't be in the life of our kids.
"She said and I quote 'hopefully she won't screw this up again'." My dad tells me and even though I didn't expect it, hearing it actually does hurt. A lot.
"Wow, ok." I swallow the lump that has formed. "So how are you coping now then? Did she move out or you?"
"I'm staying at Damon's for now. But I'm going to rent an apartment soon. We're going to sell the house and then she can do whatever. I don't care anymore."
I nod, not really knowing what to say.
"Well I'm gonna go buy myself a couch and a tv. Talk to you later. Enjoy the scan. Send me pictures ok?" He asks and I promise we will.
After the call I just sit there for a bit. I'm processing what I just heard. That's how Daniel finds me after coming out of his shower.
"Sky? What's the matter? Are you feeling ok?"
I look up to him, "eh yeah I'm ok. My dad just called. He's divorcing my mom." Daniel opens his eyes wide.
"Wow really? He should have done that years ago. But better late than never I guess. Why now?" He takes my hand in his and he sees my eyes fill up with tears.
"My mom said she hoped I don't screw up this pregnancy again." Tears start to run down my face as I see Daniels eyes spitting fire.
"That bitch! I'm so sorry baby. She doesn't deserve your tears you know that right?" He wipes the tears of my face.
"I know, I thought it wouldn't matter. But how can you say something like that about your own daughter? I just don't get it."
He pulls me up in his loving embrace. "She is not worthy of the title of mother. And she's going to stay far away from our child."
"Come on I'm taking you for a drive, let's just enjoy the surroundings for a bit. Get a cup of tea. I mean you need a full bladder for the ultrasound right?" He reminds me and I groan.
"Oh shit you're right. So you think I shouldn't go to the toilet anymore until the scan?" This is going to be a struggle. I have to go pretty much every hour and now we still have 1,5 hour to go and I can't go anymore.
"I'll distract you. It's for a good cause. They said it would be easier for them to find it." He definitely listened to the assistent when we made the appointment for today.
"Easy for you to say. You have a bladder the size of a watermelon and mine seemed to be shrunken to the size of a walnut all of a sudden. Kelly told me it would only get worse once the baby starts to use it as a trampoline or a pillow." In the mean time I take my bag so we can go.
"Well then we'll just have to make sure we always have some clean clothes with us for you. Just in case that little one in there pushes it too far."
I look up to him in shock. No way! He did not just assume I might at some point pee myself.
"Don't look so shocked. It happens. My sister told me. It doesn't matter, it may not happen to you, but we might as well be prepared. Just in case."
I shake my head, "I don't want to think about that yet. Let's first see if everything is ok."
As he grabs his keys Daniel looks at me, "everything will be fine."
"I know. I just get a bit nervous. But I really want to go see our little one. Just to be sure. For now at least. I mean we thought we were good with our little bean as well."
My moms words suddenly make me feel insecure. What if I lose this baby as well, will it be my fault then? Maybe there is something wrong with me that they just haven't figured out yet.
Daniel sees my insecurity flood me. "Hey don't you worry. I strongly believe everything will be alright. Don't doubt yourself or our baby. You are both strong and healthy. If it will help we will get an ultrasound every week. I don't care. I just want you to feel ok."
He wraps his arms around me and just holds me for a bit. I melt into him, trying to absorb some of his confidence.
I hate the fact that something my mom said affects me so much. I shouldn't let it.
"Shall we go? Get something to drink. And maybe one of those triple chocolate chip cookies of that little baker you love so much?" He grins when I look up at him almost salivating when I think about those gooey, perfectly baked cookies.
"Yes! Oh I love you, you do know how to make me feel better don't you?" I give him a peck on the lips before we finally get going.
After a delicious cookie that I almost didn't share with Daniel we are now in the waiting room to get our first looks on baby Ricciardo. I'm glad we don't have to wait long. We did book an appointment at a private clinic, just to prevent things leaking online.
"Mr. and Mrs. Ricciardo?" A nurse comes to get us.
"Not yet, but soon." I reply. I kind like the sound of it. I will take on Daniels last name when we get married so I might as well get used to it already.
"Dr. Thompson can see you now. Please follow me." She leads us into a consulting room where we shake hands with a very kind looking young male doctor.
"Welcome, I'm Dr. Mitchell Thompson and I understand you would like to know how far along you are? Do you know when your last period was?" I shake my head.
"No I haven't had one since we had a miscarriage June 19th."
He nods and writes something down. "I'm very sorry to hear that. When did you test positive?"
"2nd of October. We both had been sick with a stomach bug, but I stayed a bit poorly, so when I saw some changes in my body I decided to do a test just in case and it was very positive." I smile thinking about that moment.
"Well I think we should just have a look. You can hop on the bed and unbutton your jeans."
He puts a piece of paper in the waistband of my jeans.
"At least you won't get the gel on your clothes. It might feel a bit cold."
I remember that from the last time, so I don't mind.
He squirts quite a big blob of gel on my belly and puts the probe on it. Moving it around to find something. The way he is putting pressure on me makes my bladder protest. It's definitely full enough, as he also says when he sees it.
"Oh I'm sure you are dying for a toilet aren't you. Don't worry you can go in a few minutes." He smiles and then suddenly we see another dark spot on the screen.
"There is your uterus. Let's find that baby." He moves the probe a bit and pushes some buttons, then suddenly we see it. A little peanut shaped blob on the screen.
"Ah there we have him or her. I can see a heartbeat. Let's have a listen."
He turns on the sound and there is that wonderful sound filling the room.
I look at Daniel and I see tears forming in his eyes.
"We did it again babe."
He gives me a kiss on my forehead, both glowing with happiness.
"Sounds very strong. I'm just going to take some measurements and then I can tell you a due date."
I can't take my eyes of that little peanut that is growing inside me. Now it's real, even though the test said it was. Seeing it proves it.
"Well you're 7 weeks pregnant and your due date will be end of May. Around the 28th."
We don't know the exact racing calendar for next year yet, so we'll have to wait to find out where Daniel will be around that time, but usually it's the time for Monaco and Spain at the end of May.
Eventually he prints some pictures for us and I get some tissues to clean the gel off me.
"I can say that looks like a perfect little baby, congratulations." Dr. Thompson shakes our hands with a big smile on his face.
"Thank you very much. Have a nice day."
We head outside where Daniel picks me up and spins me around. "We're going to be parents in May! I really hope the Monaco race will be then, at least we'll both be home."
"You do know babies hardly ever come on the due date right? It could be earlier, it could be later. There's no way we will know." I say when he puts me back on my feet.
"I know. But it could be right on time. Now come on let's go shopping! I really want to buy something for our peanut. Last time we didn't do that, now I just want to go for it."
We find a massive store that has an entire floor filled with maternity clothes and the second floor is all baby stuff.
I was a bit worried that the bras would all be plain and boring. But we end up buying a couple that are actually really pretty and also sexy according to Daniel.
I also get some maternity jeans, just because there's no way to know where we'll be when my own jeans don't fit comfortably anymore. So I might as well make sure to have good ones to wear.
After finding some items for me we make our way to the second floor.
I'm overwhelmed by everything they have. It's racks and racks filled with baby clothes, there's one side of the floor completely filled with nurseries you can just buy as they are. There are strollers, car seats, blankets you name it, it's there.
"So what do you want to get?" I ask Daniel who is looking around like a kid in a candy shop.
"I just want to get some outfits. We will get the bigger items in Monaco. I just really want to buy something for peanut." He leads me with him to the clothes.
"So it's going to be peanut for now huh? Are we going to keep the sex a surprise still?" I look through a rack filled with little coats.
"Definitely, I would love it if we could see what we have after it's born together. Before the doctor tells us."
"That's a great idea." I nibble my bottom lip thinking about how I'm going to tell Daniel where I want to give birth.
"What's on your mind?" He catches me nibbling and knows there's something on my mind.
"I was wondering where you want me to give birth?" I think I know. He will probably want as much medical staff around me as possible.
"Wherever you want. I would prefer a hospital, so help is nearby if we need it. What about you?"
He holds out the cutest outfit, tiny jeans and a black t-shirt saying 'my mommy rocks 🤟🏼'
"I love it! We should get that." He puts it in a basket we picked up when we got in.
"So ehm, I actually would prefer giving birth at home." I say while looking through more clothes.
"Seriously? But there's no pain relief at home. No doctors, nothing. What if something happens?" He looks shocked.
"I don't want pain relief. I don't want a whole bunch of doctors and people around me. Just a midwife and you. Nobody else. If something happens we're only minutes away from the hospital." This has been my dream since I figured I wanted to have children.
"Wow ok, can I let that sink in for a bit? I always thought we would be surrounded by people that know what they're doing. But I also understand you wanting to do it at home. The idea scares the crap out of me though."
Obviously I get where he's coming from. The thought of being in a hospital just freaks me out.
"I know, I'm sorry. Look if there's a medical reason I should have this baby in hospital I will obviously do that. But I've always wanted to have a natural, home birth. If we would have had a bath I would even prefer a water birth. But just to have my own things and our own bed. I think that would just make me feel a lot more comfortable."
I can tell he's thinking about it.
"If you want a bath we will get one installed. No big deal. And if there's no medical reason to have this baby in the hospital, I will stand by your side at home. This is your choice, I will support you no matter what. I just want you and peanut to be healthy and safe. But I also want you to feel at ease and comfortable."
I show him a tiny romper that says 'My daddy is the best."
"I agree with that." I say smiling and put it in the basket.
Eventually we end up with a bag full of the cutest outfits. All in neutral colors so it will be fine for either a boy or girl.
A couple of days later we fly to Austin where Daniel shaves his beard in the silly shape that is his signature look for Austin. He even enters the paddock on a horse, which definitely keeps the media occupied.
I loved it, because it gave me the opportunity to have loads of cuddles with Blue. It makes me miss Rain quite a lot, but on Friday we meet up with Daisy, Alex and the other guys from the ranch.
It's amazing to see them again. Alex told me Rain is pregnant and she has now moved to her new home. I'm happy she will be a mom just like me and I really hope she is doing well, but Alex reassures me that she is.
They are so happy to see Daniel again. This time the way they met him, happy and healthy and not in hospital.
When we tell them about the baby they are over the moon. It's almost like they are going to be grandparents. Too be honest, their reaction is the one I was hoping I would get from my mother, but it feels like Daisy and Alex have taken me into their family. It's almost like they adopted me.
They are just as loving as Grace and Joe, so I happily take them as 'adoptive' parents.
Daniel has been talking to Casey, Devon and Matthew about the ranch. They all are trying to save money to take over when Alex and Daisy decide to retire.
Daniel and I agreed we won't buy the ranch as I really don't want to raise our kids in the States.
I think we will end up in Australia, there's plenty of space there to build something for ourselves.
And Daniel has an amazing place there, so we will probably live there.
After a long talk with the guys, Daisy and Alex. Daniel and I decide to invest in the guys. This way they can take over the ranch. Daniel and I will be silent partners and we can always go there if we ever want to visit.
Even though the race wasn't too good. The weekend ended on a high for us all.