Yoon Min tossed on her bed, changed positions several times until she was on her back, limbs spread out like a starfish. It's been a while since she didn’t have to worry about a lot of things. Now that everything had been put to place, she no longer had to worry about Seokjin, endure her heartache or think about their mixed feelings and connections. It's a moment so rarely experienced that she didn’t give it the value it deserved.
She thought she would get some peaceful sleep tonight. But why was it so hard to sleep? It was like she was too tired and overgone to go to sleep.
Frowning, she picked a pillow and pressed it over her face for no reason. However that was the second her brain hit upon a brilliant plan.
She didn’t have to sleep alone, did she?
Yoon Min became excited in a few seconds and she left her bed to stand before her mirror. She checked herself out, convinced she looked pretty enough and made her way outside to someone else's chamber. She wanted to defend herself with the fact now that the princess had given them two months to gather up their emotions, they needed to spend as much as time possible. Sleeping in separate rooms seemed like a very bad idea.
As she took the stairs, her body was already fluttering in joy. The tight smile on her lips was so wide as if she was a teenager sneaking out of her bedroom to go on a date. That's just how she looked.
Everyone in the universe had gone to sleep by then. They were in their respective chambers fortunately so pretty much everywhere was deserted and empty. Climbing up the stairs and finally making it to his door, she was sure her heart would had pounded in her body both in excitement and nervousness. She didn’t know the idea of meeting him would make her shy and frantic as well.
Her fingers were shaking a bit so she joined them together and calmed herself. What was she, a 15-year old who's stepping inside her boyfriend's house for the first time? Why was she getting so nervous? She fixed her hair, took a deep breath and knocked on the door thrice, made sure not to knock loudly.
She was mentally preparing herself for the following minutes but it was only a minute later when the door opened and revealed a non-asleep guardian. She lost her braincells in the discussion about how to react or tell him why she was here. He seemed perfectly taken aback to find her in front of his room at midnight.
Seokjin opened the door wider as he asked softly, “Yoonie?”
Yoon Min almost melted by the sound of his honey voice and inwardly squealed hearing the cute nickname only he used to call her by. Her gaze softened as a light smile appeared. She was about to open her mouth, but she was stopped abruptly by some distant voices approaching their way.
She widened her eyes in fear and glanced at him, only to find his eyes bigger than her. Without realizing anything, she found herself being pulled inside his room and the door slammed shut. He pressed a finger on her lips and none of them made a sound. Her back was pressed against the door but her ears were trying to figure out the voices. Basically they were hiding because they didn’t want to be seen by others.
When the footsteps came closer, they realized they were none other than his friends.
Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok were laughing like the end of the world. The four of them skipped their bedtime and roamed around the universe for adventures, laughing and bickering time to time. As they were passing by his chamber, they stopped right in front of his door.
Unfortunately.
“Should we crash Jin Hyung's bed? His bed is the best.” Jungkook was the one who suggested.
Both Seok Jin and Yoon Min widened their eyes on the other hand, foreheads forming lines of worries as they begged for their minds to change silently. They were still pressed against the door, trying to hear their conversation.
“Nah, he had a long day. Let the guy have a good night's sleep.” Hoseok didn’t know his words gave relief to two people hiding from them.
Taehyung clicked his tongue, “Let's go bug Yoongi Hyung. I'm sure he's still awake.”
“Good idea!” Jimin said before all of them left happily.
“That was close...” She muttered as she closed her eyes before leaning against the door and sighed in relief. If they had caught them together, their teases would never stop. Seeing what they did in the morning was enough for one day. After everyone found out they got back together, they had been on their tails, teasing and fan-girling.
When she opened her eyes, she was surprised by the close proximity of Seokjin who was only staring at her face the whole time. His finger never left her lips as his sparkling gaze peered down her soft ones. There was barely any time to understand, before her lips were taken by him in a matter of seconds, breath being hitched. Unable to process his quick action, it took her a few seconds to grasp onto the situation and act accordingly.
This was definitely not the way she expected him to welcome her, but she didn’t mind at all.
A shy smile lingered when she closed her eyes, making her other senses strong to kiss him back with the same amount of dedication. Her hands trembled to curl around his forearms as she could feel his fingers brush around her jaw, pulling her closer. Cradling her face towards his, he winded his arms around her, while their lips moved against each other, mapping out the intimate familiarity. The world melted, the moon smiled, the stars cheered.
He pulled away first and flashed a beautiful smile, seeing her flushed cheeks, her pink warm lips, her shaky breaths. He had seen it years ago, he had known these expressions all too well. It came out more amazing to rewatch.
One of his hand brushed over her hair as he pressed another kiss to her lips, causing her to giggle shyly. She forgot these beautiful feelings.
“What are you doing here?” Seokjin finally asked what he should had done three minutes ago instead of kissing.
She had a playful smile on her face, lips still yearning his ones. Her hands on his shoulders as she started to explain, “I was thinking since we were asked to spend time together by the princess herself...” she intentionally trailed off, cheesily smiling how he was reacting.
“And?” He played along.
“So...can I sleep here? With you?”
At first, he only stared at her and blinked slowly. Then, he had the happiest smile in a long time as he nodded his head vigorously. There were no words exchanged, no more gestures as their lips found their way back to each other, where they always should stay. Their bodies responded so easily being pressed against each other, feverishly lips moved in love and affection, foreheads touching with every kiss.
Seokjin was careful to scoop her up, smiling at the surprised sound she made before her hands looped around his neck. He walked them slowly to his bed, lowered her carefully but she didn’t let go, hands tightened around him and tugged him closer to her. His nose brushed against hers, lips pressing softer than clouds but heavier than raindrops.
Mingled with giggles and affection, she could feel his smile against her mouth, fingers slowly going through his honeyed hair and resting there while he pressed his lips to her closed eyes, taking turn before kissing her cheeks and her forehead. She returned the gratitude by cupping his face, pulled him closer and repeated the cycle by kissing his lips, his cheeks, his eyes and his forehead. Lastly when she stole a quick kiss on his nose, he ended up letting out a chuckle.
“You make me feel like I'm home.” He laced their hands together, fingers gripping tightly.
She replied with a content smile, “And you make me feel like I'm in heaven.”
Both of them laughed the next second by the fact how cringy and adorable they sounded.
He set beside her, and she didn’t waste a second before scooting closer to him. He smiled again watching her resting her head on his chest and one of her hand caressed his jawline. In response, he brought her closer by wrapping an arm around her and closed his eyes, not speaking a word.
The silence was beautiful and welcomed, but she didn’t want them to fall asleep yet. The locked gossips and stories were fighting to come out of her chest. While caressing his face softly, she requested him earnestly,
“Don't sleep yet, Jinnie.”
He opened his eyes and she caught the uneasiness in his face in a second. With a forced smile, he replied, “I'm not.”
Yoon Min realized how he was stiff and unmoving. And it gave away how he wanted to be close but didn’t know if he had the right to do that. She didn’t push the matter, it was normal to feel that way. At least in the beginning. No matter how close they were, she knew it would take time to fully return to being who they used to be.
She needed to distract him. Make him feel easy and friendly with her. Make him realize there was no need to hold back.
“Tell me about the days when you came to Love Universe.”
She was successful because a small smile formed on his lips. He didn’t hesitate very long,
“I think I was very excited to be a guardian. In fact, I was just like you, full of passion and enthusiasm to save humans. I never missed a class and attended the professors' lectures regularly. I made sure I was progressing and doing my duties for every human.”
Yoon Min smiled listening to his voice. She lightly pressed a kiss on his cheek, it was long enough for his eyes to close in relief. She balanced herself on her elbows, stomach flat on the bed as she feathered her finger down his face and played with his hair.
“That time, I was very fascinated by this idea of saving suicidal humans. I felt this was really a great service. I wasn’t curious about my past that much. I just knew I had to be a responsible guardian and save those people who are thinking to kill themselves.”
“Is that how you became a Senior Guardian? You saved so many VIP souls.” She was jealous of him in this aspect.
Seokjin smiled before taking her hand which was playing with his hair and held it together on his chest. His smile didn’t last long because he confessed, “That's not quite right. I was obsessed with saving humans after I failed to save...you.”
Her own smile vanished slowly. It still gave her goosebumps and silenced her.
He took a deep breath, guilt shining in his eyes, “If only I knew, Yoon Min...that it was you, that it was someone from my life, that you were my wife and my e-everything...If only I recognized you, I swear I would've saved you. I would've saved you no matter the cost, I would've begged you to live for me, I would've never taken away your chance to be happy. I-I am so sorry...”
Hearing his words, she could understand it was going to be harder for him than her. Because no matter what she tells him, his heart was filled with regret and guilt that will never drain out. She had to accept it, she had to support him.
She hated the tug at his lips, eyes shuttering close in regret and frustration over his mistake that costed her life. He would never forget, let alone forgive himself.
“Jin...” She whispered, wanting him to look at her instead of hiding. “I didn’t want to be saved. I wanted to be with you. You saw through me, right? You saw I won't be able to be happy if I lived. So you just did what you thought was best for me. And it was, you indeed did what's best for me.”
He fluttered his eyes open at her words, tears glistening.
“You saved me by not choosing to save me.” Moving closer, she rested her forehead on his, letting that gesture to console him. Her own eyes shut close while his stayed open. “Everything happens for a reason. The paths we walked, the choices we made, the sacrifices we took...everything was destined to happen. We came a long way but we got here at least. We've found our way back to each other again.”
Seokjin almost forgot the way he used to feel around her, alive and protected. She used to light his way through the dark tunnel, hide him inside her embrace when he was scared or helpless, never stopped respecting him. He almost forgot her voice could wake him up even from any death, her words could change his world, her love could save him. She's the music of the times he needed to escape, to laugh, to cry, to live and love.
He'll never deserve her, but he was the one who had her every time.
They stayed like that for a while until he rolled onto his side, then pulled her against him. Captured her in the warmest, safest embrace and tightly hugged her. She smiled a little and her arms placed around him before closing her eyes. She felt his lips peppering kisses on her hair and sometimes on her forehead, never getting tired. That affectionate gesture had her lacing with sleep finally.
But she couldn’t sleep yet, not with this constant fear stretching in her mind.
“Plesse don't be gone when I wake up.”
She didn’t hear anything at first. She only felt his arms tightening more and his head tucking closer to hers.
“Never again.” His voice was soft, laced with sleep.
That was all she needed. Never again.
There's endless love, endless promises, endless dreams in that abyss where they gladly fell and drowned in, as they held each other. The pain of being separated, of yearning and longing despite the wounds and scars only made them stronger than before. It travelled across challenges and distance to each other again, to heal and love one another.
And that night, wholely and utterly each others', lost in one another.
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December is always my favorite month of the year💜
Happy Holidays! Stay warm and healthy.