We've been in Canada for a few days now and I actually feel a lot better for some reason. My stomach has definitely calmed down a lot and I am getting a bit more energy. I thought that wouldn't be until I got passed the 12 weeks, but I'm not complaining. Tomorrow it's Friday and then the chaos wil start again. But today me and Daniel are going on a helicopter flight to see Montreal from the sky.
I've never been in a helicopter before, but everybody secured me it's super safe and we will have the most stunning views of the city. So I grab Daniels hand and try to relax.
They weren't lying about the view. It's indeed something else.
"Oh Daniel this is amazing. It's terrifying, but so beautiful." I practically have my nose pressed against the glass so I don't miss anything.
He laughs, "you are getting used to flying aren't you?"
"Yeah it's not so bad anymore. And you are here with me. Not that you can do anything if we crash, but you always make me feel safer." I turn around so I can kiss him. "God I love you so much."
He kisses my nose, he knows what happens then, but I also know he loves it when my nose crinkles.
"I love you too baby. Can you believe in a few days we'll be in the UK, so you can finally hang out with Bri and Jen again." He says holding me close.
"I know it's been so long, but we'll be there for almost 2 weeks, so plenty of time to catch up."
The pilot makes his way back and when we are back on the ground we thank him for the amazing experience.
Back at the hotel we decide to stay in the room and order some room service. We enjoy a quiet night with a movie and we go to bed early. Although we don't really sleep right away.
While I'm cuddled up against him he bends his head to me to kiss me and my tongue slips in between his lips to find his. I roll over so I end up on top of him and plunge my lips on his again.
His hands caress my back and he sends shivers of pleasure down my spine.
My lips travel over his jaw towards his neck where I place soft kisses. On the sensitive spot underneath his ear I suck on his skin and leave a mark.
"Damn you girl, there will be a lot of cameras on me tomorrow. And you leave a mark on me. You little cheeky one." But I can hear his smile in his voice, so he really doesn't mind.
"They know you're mine anyways so who cares." I say with a grin.
From his neck my lips move further down over his collar bone towards his chest where I flick his nipples with my tongue.
He moans softly and I feel his desire getting harder against my leg.
"I want you so bad." I sigh and start to move over his hard cock. He slides between my folds where my juices are already flowing. I bend forward so he can actually reach my nipples with his mouth and he sucks and nibbles on them.
I moan loudly when I feel the pulses of pleasure reach my core where the tip of his desire keeps rubbing over my clit.
It's still so incredibly sensitive that I know I won't last long.
I just want to come with him inside me so I move a bit and with my hand I lead his tip to where I want him most right now.
I feel him pressed against my opening and slowly lower myself on top of him.
We moan simultaneously when he fills me up completely.
"Fuck you are still so tight around me." He says clenching his jaw.
His hands are on my breasts caressing my nipples when I start riding him slowly.
It's been quite a couple of days since we were intimate last, because I've felt so sick.
But now I finally feel him in me again and I realize how much I need him and this.
"I'm not going to last long baby, it feels so good." I moan and he grabs my hips and starts to thrust inside me while I lean with my hands on his strong abs.
"Cum with me baby." He groans and I feel him pulsate inside me. It pushes me over my edge and my orgasm floods me, my body trembles and my nails are making marks on his stomach.
We ride out our orgasms together and then I let myself slump on top of him.
"I needed this." I smile before I give him a loving kiss.
"I'm always here when you need me, for anything." His hands are still caressing my back, I let myself roll off him and with our legs intertwined we fall asleep.
I wake up very early feeling off. My lower back hurts and I just don't feel good. Maybe I've caught a flu or something, I take some paracetamol and go back to bed hoping it will be better when I sleep a bit more. I'm not going to the paddock this morning anyways, so it doesn't matter if I stay in bed longer and take some extra rest. I hope I'll be able to go for the practice sessions this afternoon.
When Daniel wakes up I get out of bed with him for a bit, but I still don't feel good.
"I'll go back to bed once you've left ok. I'll get some rest and I'll try to come this afternoon for the free practice. Maybe it's just the jetlag catching up with me." I say when Daniel tells me he's a bit worried and suggests Michael to stay with me again.
"It's no use for Michael to be here while I'm sleeping. I'll be fine." I kiss him softly. "Besides he needs to be with you today, so just go or you'll be late."
Just as I say that I hear a knock on the door. That's probably Michael and Blake.
Daniel opens the door and I greet them as they walk in.
"Hey Sky, not coming with us yet?" Michael asks me.
"No, I'm going to try to get some extra sleep and hopefully join you guys this afternoon." I answer.
"Well just call one of us if you need to be picked up ok?" Blake says and I nod.
"Will do, now you guys should get going. I'll see you later." I hug both of them feeling worse every minute. "I love you my honey badger. See you later ok." I give him a kiss.
"Yeah just keep me posted ok. I'm in the press conference at 10.30, but you can reach Michael or Blake during that time." He gives me another worried look, but I force myself to smile and I hope that will ease his mind.
They head out and I take another paracetamol before I get back to bed.
My lower back hurts more then it did when I woke up earlier, so I try to make myself comfortable and gladly I do drift off to sleep.
I don't know how long I've slept, but I suddenly wake up in a lot of pain. I've got horrible cramps in my lower abdomen and it feels like I have to go to the toilet. So I drag myself out of bed to go to the bathroom. When I reach the bathroom I get struck with even worse cramps and my knees give in. I try to get up again, but it feels like I'm being punched and stabbed in my belly at the same time.
I'm glad I quickly grabbed my phone before going to the bathroom.
I don't even see what time it is, but I try to call Daniel.
"Please pick up." I'm crying in pain now and I can barely move. I feel so scared right now and I just know this is really bad.
Daniel doesn't pick up so I check the time and I realize he had just started his press conference.
"Fuck, please little bean don't do this to me." I feel tears streaming down my face as I try to call Michael.
"Sky? What's wrong?" Michael hears me sobbing.
"Something's wrong. Please help me. It hurts so bad." I moan when another wave of this horrible pain hits me.
"Shit, I'm on my way. Hang in there." He hangs up and I can only hope he gets here quickly.
I lie down with my arms around my belly crying and I feel something warm spreading down my thighs. I think I peed on myself and I feel even worse.
It feels like hours when I hear Michael yelling my name.
"Sky!! Where are you?" He sounds like he's freaking out and with a soft voice I try to call out to him.
"I'm here."
The door gets yanked open and I hear him gasp.
"Oh shit." He whispers when he sees me and quickly sits down next to me.
"Skylar you have to get up. I'm taking you to hospital." He sounds terrified and I try to sit up.
"I think I wet myself." I say and he shakes his head.
"No sweetheart you didn't. You're bleeding Sky." I can tell he has tears in his eyes and I start crying again.
"I'm losing the baby aren't I? Oh god please tell me I'm wrong." I fold over again as I get hit with more horrible cramps.
Michael goes to the bedroom real quick and comes back with a clean pair of sweatpants.
"Skylar please try to get up so I can help you in these clean clothes. I really want to take you to the hospital now." He grabs me under my arms and helps me on my feet. I'm struggling and I feel more blood running down my legs. My legs are shaking and I hold on to the sink while Michael puts me in the sweatpants.
He grabs a couple of towels, but when I try to follow him, my legs are unable to carry me.
He catches me, wraps a towel around my waist and picks me up in his arms.
I wrap my arms around his neck and he quickly takes me to the car where he carefully places me on the passenger seat. When he gets in I can see that his orange McLaren shirt is covered in blood.
I close my eyes and try to breath through the pain, while Michael speeds away to the hospital.
My mind is rushing when I think about Daniel, knowing I'm going to break his heart when he finds out. "Oh god Daniel. I'm so sorry." I whisper.
"I'll call Daniel as soon as I get you with a doctor." Michael says when he parks the car pretty much in front of the hospital entrance.
He picks me up again and carries me inside emergency.
A nurse walks up to us. "We need a doctor, she is 10 weeks pregnant and bleeding badly. Please call somebody. She needs help now!" He pleads and the nurse quickly takes us to an examination room. Michael puts me on the bed and I feel very light headed. "I don't feel so good Michael."
"You're whiter than the sheets on this bed." He looks at the door where a doctor walks in.
"Ok tell me what's going on." He asks me first, but I feel extremely tired and faint.
"She's 10 weeks pregnant and she is bleeding really bad." Michael tells him.
The doctor comes to me and removes the towel. I barely notice anything, but I do feel them taking off my sweatpants and I hear Michael tell me he's going to call Daniel.
The doctor feels my belly and when he pushes on it I cry out in pain.
Another gush of warm blood flows out of me and I feel like I'm about to pass out.
"She is bleeding too much. Call for an OR we are taking her right now." I hear in a distance, the bed starts to move, but then everything turns black.
Michaels POV:
I look down at my shirt which is covered in Skylars blood and I feel my hands shake when I call Daniel.
"Michael? Mate where the hell are you? I tried to call Skylar cause she called me earlier, but she doesn't answer. What the fuck is going on?" Daniel sounds like he's freaking out.
"Get your ass to the hospital right now. I'll explain when you get here. Let Blake drive so you actually make it here in one piece." I can barely finish my sentence before he hangs up and I can only hope he follows my advice and he doesn't get behind the wheel.
I pace through the room where Skylar was only a few minutes ago. I feel sick when I realize that she probably has lost the baby. There's no way with this amount of blood that the baby is ok.
"Michael! Where is she." Daniel and Blake rush into the room where I am and he freezes when he sees my clothes.
"Oh god please no, where is she?" He starts to cry and I feel my eyes fill with tears as well.
"They took her to the OR. Daniel there was so much blood. I think she lost the baby, but I haven't heard anything yet." I see my best friend crumble before my eyes and Blake pulls out a chair to sit him down.
I feel the adrenaline wearing off and I grab a chair myself.
"I'm so sorry Danny, I found her on the floor in the bathroom and I took her here. I didn't have time to call you sooner." I want to run my hands through my hair, but they are also covered in blood.
I get up to wash them in the sink in the room, I've never seen my hands shake this much.
"I'll call the team to see what we can do for the practice sessions. You are supposed to be in the car in a few hours." Blake tells Daniel.
"Screw them, I don't even know what's happing with Skylar right now. They do not want me in that car I can tell you that." Daniel snaps at Blake.
"I know man, let me take care of this." Blake walks out of the room to make the call.
"I should have been there. I let her down. I wasn't there when she needed me the most." I can hear my friends heart breaking from where I am, but there's nothing I can say to make it better.
Daniels POV:
Seeing Michaels clothes when I rush into the room I feel sick to my stomach. Skylar isn't here.
"Oh god, please no. Where is she?" I start crying, because in my mind I think I already know what the outcome of today will be.
After what seems like forever, finally a doctor walks in the room.
"I'm looking for Miss Hayes family?" He asks and I get up.
"She's my girlfriend and I'm the father of the baby. Please tell me she's ok?" The doctor recognizes me, but stays professional.
"Mr. Ricciardo. She is out of the OR now and in recovery waking up as we speak, so I'll take you to her in a minute." He starts out and I feel so relieved that Skylar is out of surgery. "I'm afraid we couldn't save the baby, we removed all the tissue from the uterus to stop the bleeding and we will send everything to the lab to see if we can find anything that needs to be looked into further."
Hearing him tell me there's no more baby breaks my heart and I cover my face with my hands while I start to cry.
I feel Michaels hand on my shoulder and he pulls me up into a hug.
"I'm so sorry Dan." I hear his voice break and we hold on to each other for support.
"Do you want me to take you to her?" The doctor asks me and I quickly turn around.
"Yes please." I follow him and he takes me to a room where Skylar is in a bed looking extremely pale and weak.
I sit down next to her and hold her hand in mine.
"I'm so sorry Sky, that I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry I let you down."
I sit there just looking at her breathe and wait for her to wake up.
After a while I feel her hand move in mine and her eyes start to open.
"Daniel?" Her soft voice breaks my heart again.
"I'm here baby, I'm here." I stroke her hair with my free hand.
"Our little bean is gone isn't it?" She asks me and I swallow the big lump in my throat.
"It is, I'm so sorry sweetheart." She breaks in front of me and her whole body is shaking in despair.
I climb on the bed next to her so I can take her in my arms. "I'm so sorry Daniel, I failed you and our baby. It's all my fault." Hearing her blame herself tears me apart.
I was the one who let her down, I wasn't there when she was in need and I couldn't even answer her call when she reached out for me.
"Don't say that, it's not your fault. I'm sorry for letting you down. I should have been there for you." We hold on to each other while we both cry over our loss.
After a while she falls asleep exhausted and I get off the bed to find Michael and Blake. I have no idea what time it is, but I really don't care.
Both of them are waiting in the hallway in front of the room when I come out.
"How is she?" Michael asks me. He has changed into a clean shirt, maybe Blake went to get it for him.
"She's sleeping now, but she is devastated and heart broken." I run my fingers through my hair.
"Mate I don't want to tell you this, but the team wants you back for FP2. I was able to get you out of FP1, but they expect you there in an hour." I hear what Blake says and I feel a rage filling my veins.
"Seriously? Did you tell them what happened?" I look at him with eyes spitting fire.
"I did, but they need you there. You can come back immediately afterwards. She is sleeping now, so you should go and do the practice. I'll go with you to talk to them, because I don't think it's a good idea that you confront them right now." Blake pleads and I know the team needs me there, but I'm torn. How can I leave Sky now. Again when she needs me so badly.
"I'll be here ok, you know your warming up, you know what to do. I'll stay with her and you do your job and then come back." Michael puts his hand on my shoulder.
"She's going to hate me if I'm not there when she wakes up." I look at the room where she is sleeping in and I want to be there with her, I don't want to leave her side.
"Dan, you have to go. Just come back as soon as you can." Michael practically pushes me in the other direction. With a knot in my stomach I follow Blake out of the hospital.
Outside there are some journalists. I guess they followed me when I left the tracks so abruptly.
"Daniel why did you miss FP1, who were you visiting?" I look at Blake, because I really can't deal with this now.
"Daniels girlfriend had an emergency that's why we are here. She is not in any danger. We're not going into further details right now, Daniel has to go to the track to do FP2. Please give him and Skylar some privacy." We get into the car and I feel a rage coming over me like I've never felt before.
With my fists I bash on the dashboard trying to get rid of that anger inside me. Blake drives off and with every meter we get further away from the hospital I feel the guilt build up inside me.
I don't think I can ever forgive myself for leaving her like this.
Silent tears run over my face when I think about how our dream just shattered within a few hours.
Our little bean is gone and it feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.