Truth kills us. That's why, people fears truth. So they tell themeselves multiple lies to avoid being killed. But aren't those lies all disguised as truths?
Seokjin couldn’t think straight after whatever he heard from Yeji. The only thing he could think now was demand Jisoo to tell the truth herself. He didn’t doubt her all these time; in fact though she was a burden always, he never guessed she could take an attempt like this. A daring attempt such as that. On what ground would she do this?
He needed answers for his burning questions so he drove his way towards her apartment. Unfortunately, she wasn’t there so his second guess was her filming spot nearby. Driving his car, Seokjin mostly worried about what he would do if everything turns out to be the truth he never thought would. How could he mend a weak heart he broke like a cruel man without a second thought? How could he set everything right? He was scared for what was coming next for him.
Striding through the crowd of cameramen and staff members, he appeared at the centre where he found his beloved girlfriend having an emotional scene with her co-actor. He patiently waited for the scene to end, not wanting to create a ruckus. After some time, the director announced a large cut so everyone started wishing the main leads a good job as they bowed to the others with a smile.
It didn’t take long for Jisoo to notice her boyfriend as she immediately had a surprised reaction. She quickly finished her work there and walked to him with a moody expression. Before she could open her mouth, her hand was grabbed and she was being dragged to someplace. Jisoo protested a few times but he only replied they would talk in a quiet place.
Seokjin brought her to somewhere, not a lot of people were seen. They stood behind a huge white truck which supposedly was a food truck sent to the actress by someone. Jisoo stared into his eyes before ripping her hand away from his grip and barked,
“What are you doing here? I told you not to come to my work place. It's uncomfortable.”
Her words were least concerning for him as he directly asked her, “Tell me this isn't the truth.”
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, “About what, Seokjin?”
“That you were the one behind the revelation of the death.”
That took her by shock. She didn’t answer; her voice sunk in, the realization that he had found out what she did dawned with a chilling numbness that swept through her body, eyes shuddering as she looked at him.
Seokjin's gaze settled on her, taking in the way her expression shuttered, forcefully went calm and neutral. It was uncertainty that held him back from asking so much, questions that pleaded to be answered.
But he wanted her to have a good reason behind her action. He wanted to believe she didn’t do it out of her selfishness and waited for her to explain.
“I-I...” For some reason, she was unable to say anything, too surprised to explain. She created a full proof plan, this wasn’t supposed to happen. The thought of Yeji opening up her mouth irritated her as she made a mental note to take revenge on her later.
His voice is loud and filled with anger when he shouted at her, “Say something, Jisoo!”
She got offended by his behaviour, not being guilty for herself, “Why are you yelling at me? I did it for us! She was seducing you. She was acting innocent and pure, she was trying to take my place! I was afraid you would catch feelings for her.” She breathed heavily.
His stomach plummeted, heart twisting viciously and breath catching in his throat. The reality slammed into him, jarring and sudden. A jolt that made his footing stagger as he looked at her, fists clenching slowly. There was this unexpected emotion of helplessness he felt then.
Her reply answered a thousand questions. And each had him fall down from a cliff again and again.
It was his own girlfriend who betrayed him.
It was never Yoon Min.
The suspicion, the hopeful want he's always had flared, reared its head, proving the necessary fact on why he kept thinking Yoon Min didn’t do it, why he kept missing her, why he wanted no more than run to her and bring her back to his life. There was always a small part of his heart which reminded him that he was wrong. Very wrong.
Unable to take the shock completely, he managed to say softly, “What have you done, Jisoo...”
She looked around them, checking if anyone was watching them since she guessed something was going to happen between them in a few minutes, “Seokjin, listen to me. I might look like the bad guy here. But you'll realize whatever I did was for our own good. That girl was never meant to be a part of our lives. Couldn’t you see she was trying to poison our relationship?”
Seokjin's lips trembled, “How could you do this? Y-You...put the blame on her? You deliberately risked my company's future...just to get rid of her?” His questions seemed like he still couldn’t believe her backstabbing.
Jisoo rolled her eyes and rebuked, “Oh please, stop being an idiot. You know, because of your foolishness and stupidity, I had to do something like this. If you never brought her with you, then none of this had to happen!”
There was anger and fear in her voice, mad at him for being too different from her and scared that he would leave her now. She was always difficult to handle and love. She didn’t know that. She was a true narcissistic.
“Jisoo, you should be sorry for what you did.”
“Sorry? Did I do something to be sorry? I was a girlfriend who didn’t want to lose her boyfriend to a poor orphan! When she was no match for me, when there was no question of you to fall for some another woman, when you had a perfection like me, I had to make sure you weren’t leaving me. I-I wanted to--”
“I never thought of leaving you, Jisoo! I loved you. I tried to love you despite your selfishness, your arrogance, your pride, your indecency! I tried to love you even when you kept using me like a toy, when you didn’t care about my opinion or feelings, when you had time for everyone in the world, but not me. How you were ashamed of me, how you thought I wasn’t good for you, your clear disappointment. I forgot everything though it hurt bad and kept loving you, choosing you over anything, supporting you.” He started raising his voice, now that he realized he took the wrong path to walk on when he always knew someone else was the right path.
“I accepted everything and tortured myself to be with you every single day. I pretended to be a different man when I was with you because you never appreciated anything about me. I was suffering, suffocating tight in this relationship and yet I tried to be kind to you, gave you the best of you, adore you. I was never comfortable with you because I couldn’t be myself. You had to judge me, change me, roll your eyes at me, make me feel inferior! Even after all these, I never thought of hurting you and wanted to marry you.” His eyes had teary sparkles. “What makes you think I wanted to leave you?”
Jisoo was speechless at his outburst of emotions. Not that she cared about how she hurt him all these years as his girlfriend, but she didn’t know what to say after this, how to win this argument.
When she was quiet and staring at him, he continued, “Yes, I was falling for Yoon Min. I was attracted towards her since the moment I met her; like a magnet, like magic, like fate. Because she was kind to me, she could see through my masked expression, she knew what to do for me in what situation, she helped me in every way, she listened to me, she respected me, supported me, trusted me more than herself. She took care of me like a family. But even after her devotion towards me, I held onto you. I ignored her and picked you. Even after knowing she was the right one for me, I was begging you to take me! I was obeying you non-stop and swallowed every hurtful word and action of yours.”
“I was loving someone I wasn’t supposed to.”
Jisoo shook her head, a change of her expression caught his eyes as she let out, “Baby, you're mad right now. Let's talk about this later, okay? You aren't in your right mind.” Fake-caring for him, she tried to reach for him but he stood back, not allowing her the slightest.
“God knows how much she's suffering now...I can't even imagine what I said..and did to her...” It was barely a whisper from him. The picture of the last time he saw her was tightening his throat and decreasing the pace of his heart.
She still cupped his cheeks and spoke in a soft voice, “Seokjin, I don't want you to think of her. See, why I had to do that? You're obsessed with her. You've a soft spot for her, but that's all. You need to control your emotions. If you do, you'll be able to recognize her true motive and thank me.”
Brushing her hand over his cheek again and again, she was whispering like a sorceress, “We're in love, baby. One day, you'll realize what an idiot you were for falling for her despite having me by your side. You'll worship me because of what I did today and thank me for getting rid of her. I know you're feeling tired now so it'll seem hard for you to believe me.”
She was cleverly twisting his conscience by pouring black magic inside his soul. She wasn’t apologizing at all, rather she was being adamant on making Yoon Min look like the villain in this story. Seokjin was breathing lightly and his head was lowered to the ground. He seemed like he found himself again on a checkpoint, where he was unsure on whether he should go forward or comw back from where he came from. Jisoo absolutely loved how her boyfriend was so innocent that she only had to talk a few words and he would completely be under her spell without a second thought. This was no different.
“I am your girlfriend. Not her. I'm the one who loves you and will stay loyal to you. She was just a nasty, passing cloud, Seokjin. I'm sure you'll forget her within a few months.” Jisoo chuckled viciously.
But she was taken aback when Seokjin connected his serious gaze with hers.
“You're wrong, Jisoo.” He placed his palms over her hands and removed them away from him. “She's the reason I'm still with you today. She was the one who repeatedly stopped me from letting you go and free myself. She was the one who taught me that love comes with a heavy price. And now I know to love you, the price I had to pay was turn a blind eye on the feelings I've for her.”
The way he spoke those without stuttering gave Jisoo chills through her veins. She blinked confusedly and remained quiet.
Seokjin wasn't afraid anymore. He wasn’t afraid to face his true heart, the one that was locking away his feelings for the one and only woman that deserved him. Gulping down, he took a deep breath and took a step back, distancing himself away from her.
“She is not a passing cloud...she's the forest where I get lost while chasing my happiness. She engulfed me in her embrace like a parent without bothering to judge me. She smiled at my joys and died when I cried. In this world, I found a home in her where I'm fully comfortable.” He spoke so boldly as if he had spoke high of her before and will always do.
Jisoo's jaw dropped when he added, “I'm gonna find her. I'm gonna bring her with me again. And this time, I'll finally give her what she really deserves.”
With that saying, he didn’t give her a chance to explain anymore as he turned around swiftly. Jisoo was petrified of his words, it almost seemed like he was going to leave her forever. She couldn’t let that happen. She needed him. She had to have him no matter what.
“Wait, Seokjin! No!” She grabbed his hand from behind and stopped him.
“Have you gone crazy? Y-You...you can't do this. You're leaving me?” She didn’t sound like she was confident now. Rather she sounded like she was scared and helpless.
He didn’t give her any answer. He secretly bit his bottom lip and found his heart wavering again. This was what he hated most. That he didn’t know what decision he should take. His soul was too kindhearted to let any other hearts to break because of him.
But he wasn’t exactly being kindhearted when he kicked Yoon Min out without trusting her, right?
Jisoo added more, she spoke fast as she thought she had little time to convince him, “Are you seriously gonna choose that worthless orphan over me? Wow, I'm speechless! Come back to your sense, you jerk. Do you realize what you're doing?”
She was scared he really might choose her so she used the most important card for defence,
“If you leave now, we're through.”
Seokjin almost wanted to gasp and turn back to meet her eyes. But he was still in his place, eyes large and shock written on them.
“You heard me, Seokjin. If you let go of my hand now, it's over between us.”
Life is very tricky often. Like, sometimes the things we most desire are right in front of us, waiting for us to capture them. But we still hesitate. Because we don't know how to let go of the things we already have. We're scared for a reason.
He was also scared now. For some reason, letting go of Jisoo scared him in the heart, trapping him in the timeless moment. He spent almost 4 years with her, that was a very long time to forget all on a sudden. To let go of this hand he once thought he would never do, it might take away his final breath.
What if he would regret in the future? What if this risk would put him in his most dreadful way of life? What if this choice could change his destiny into something else? Something more painful?
Jisoo gasped openly when her eyes witnessed a historical moment; a moment where she saw her hand slipping away from his grip as he walked forward, striding quick steps without looking back. Heartbeat ringing in her ears, she was frozen in the place, eyes fluttering continuously at the unanticipated betrayal.
For the first time of her life, someone chose another person over her. And it was no one other than her own boyfriend.
Seokjin sat inside his car and twisted the key to start the engine. Gripping the wheel, he took a big breath to calm his excited heart and opened his eyes.
With a small smile in his lips, he whispered to himself, hoping the air will deliver his message to the woman he was running back to,
“I'm coming, Yoon Min.”