"I hate him. I fucking hate him. He hasn't changed one bit," Minho ranted as we entered our hotel room, throwing his jacket and shoes off before walking over to the bed and falling down onto it face-first.
I threw the rental car keys down on the table, "That was the most awkward situation I've ever been in and I've participated in an orgy. A fucking orgy."
Minho turned his head over to look at me, "How many people are we talking here?"
"Seven."
"I am never going to be able to get that image out of my head now, thanks," Minho said before turning his head back over with his face in the blanket.
"Oh, come on," I scoffed, taking my jacket and shoes off before approaching the foot of the bed. I tapped his leg and he turned to lie on his back, looking up at me with a smirk. I crawled atop him and teased, "You get to have me all to yourself."
"Is that so?" Minho asked me, then pulling me down by the collar to kiss him.
I collapsed aside him and looked up at the ceiling, "I have a lot of shit to say right now."
"So do I," Minho said. "Do you want to go first or me?"
"You go first, he's your dad."
Minho sat up and crossed his legs, "I don't even know where to begin. That was like a metaphorical bloodbath."
"It gave me Red Wedding vibes," I said with a shudder.
"That's the perfect way to describe it," Minho said, nodding his head. "It took everything I had in me to not berate him in front of a bunch of kids that he's pretending are fucking his. He shouldn't be allowed to just start over like that. He doesn't deserve that happiness."
"I don't think I've ever been so uncomfortable around someone before. He gave me a horrible vibe," I said to him.
"His vibe was so awful," Minho said, shaking his head. "I can't believe we decided to do this."
"Is it too late to go home and pretend like none of this ever happened?" I asked, turning my head over to look at him.
"Do you know how much I wish that were possible?"
I sat up, "Can we just talk about how tacky it is that they met in a fucking farmers market?"
"How much do you want to bet she just made that shit up on the spot?" Minho laughed.
"Those kids had to be NPCs, seriously. They did not talk at all. It's like they were robots."
"Oh my God, I know. And what the fuck was up with that sanctimommy bullshit Sherry had going on? She acts like she's the fucking messiah or something."
"I know!" I exclaimed. "Whenever she talked I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a goddamn melon-baller. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard."
"I'm so glad we can bond about hating the same things," Minho said with a smile, placing a delicate hand on my chin and leaning in to kiss me.
I entangled a hand in his hair, deepening our kiss by pulling him closer. Only after my phone began to ring, though, did I back away from him and get up to grab it.
"Aww, come on. You don't have to answer."
I picked my phone from off the table I'd set it on, "It's Changbin, this feels important. I told the guys not to call me unless it's an emergency. They think we're on a business trip, remember?"
"Fuck, you're right. Do your thing."
I answered my phone and put it to my ear, "What's up?"
"Bad news, Felix is getting suspicious. He asking too many questions and he's not getting enough answers."
I groaned, "God, fuck me. Why didn't he buy it?"
"He didn't buy it because I couldn't come up with enough information about the supposed 'business trip' you guys are on. I get that you and Minho have been perched up in your little love-nest for the past three months but you've done a horrible job at keeping up with your friends. That's why Felix is suspicious."
Three months? That answers our question.
"Okay, I get it. I'll tell him. Where is he right now, can he hear you?" I asked Changbin.
"No, I'm at work right now hiding out in the scream closet and he's at home trying to figure out what the fuck you're doing. Call him."
"Jesus Christ, okay. I'll call him right now. Thanks."
I hung up the phone and looked over at Minho who's face was clouded with confusion, "I have to tell Felix."
"What happened?"
"He's not going to tell anyone, just let me do this," I said to him, quickly grabbing one of the room keys and my Airpods before heading for the door.
"Wait, where are you going?" Minho asked, hopping off the bed and attempting to follow me.
"Let me go, I need to take care of this," I insisted, grabbing one of my AirPods and stuffing it in my ear.
"Han, this is getting bad. Too many people are suspicious and we already told Changbin."
"Changbin and Felix are together, they can keep their mouths shut if they can gossip to each other. They won't tell anyone, just let me do this."
"Okay, fine."
"Thank you. Thank you so much," I said, then turning my back and opening the door to exit. I walked down the hall to the elevator before pulling up Felix' contact and calling him, raising my phone to my ear.
"Where in the fuck are you? You're a snake, you know that?"
"Felix, it is so good to hear your voice right now," I sighed.
"Stop it. You've gone on two business trips in two weeks and you've barely spoken to me, where the fuck are you?"
I pressed the elevator button for the first floor, "I can explain, calm down."
"Yeah, you sure do. What is going on with you?"
"Just wait until I get in this elevator so I can make sure nobody hears this conversation, alright?"
"Is it that bad?" Felix asked.
"Depends on your perspective," I shrugged to myself. The elevator opened and I looked inside, sighing in relief upon noticing nobody was there. I walked inside and continued, "There's something I have to tell you and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."
"I need the cold hard truth right now or so help me God I'll kill you whenever you come back."
"You want the cold hard truth?" I asked him, pressing a bunch of random buttons in the elevator when the door closed. "I'll tell you but I need you to promise you won't murder me in my sleep."
"I can do that, now tell me."
"Minho and I have been together for three months and we thought it would be funny to see how our parents would react when we told them that we're together. We invited my adoptive parents to our...his house two or so weeks ago and now we're in Ann Arbor for his dad's wedding."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Felix asked me, completely deadpan.
"Yeah, I am. I know how bad this is."
"So, this is why he hasn't been getting stalked anymore. You finally got him so you don't need to watch him anymore. I'll bet you thought you were going to try to pretend he had a stalker but you forgot because you're so in love with him you can't even think about anything else. You will not believe the amount of lying I've had to do for you. Does Changbin know about this? Is that why he's been so secretive lately? He's a horrible liar."
"Yeah, Changbin knows. It's Minho and I's fault he didn't tell you and you can't fucking tell anyone."
"We kicked Chan out of the friend group because he suspects you of being Minho's stalker. Do you know how much it hurt my pride to sit there and pretend like Chan wasn't the smartest guy in the room at that moment?"
"You guys kicked him out? What the hell!?" I exclaimed. "Shit is about to hit the fan. Minho already knows his suspicion but I know he doesn't believe it. Does Chan have anything on me?"
"No and you should thank your lucky goddamn stars for that. Keep it like that or you'll be more fucked than you already are."
"This conversation never happened, alright? The stalking, Chan, none of it. You know Minho and I are together but that's it. You and Changbin are just keeping a simple secret until I find another job. Got it?"
"Yeah, I know. I get it. I didn't hear shit."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome, asshole."