"Blep."
"I'm just saying-,"
"Blep!"
"Come on-,"
"BLEP."
"What does that even mean!?"
"It means "I don't want to hear it" in my own personal language that I'd like to call Han's Super Duper Fake Language," I smirked at Felix, crossing my arms.
"Can you guys stop bickering?" Hyunjin huffed. "I'm trying to listen to my own thoughts here."
"You actually think under all of that hair of yours?" Minho asked him jokingly.
I gave Minho a high-five, "Nice!"
"You're just jealous that my hair is more beautiful than yours could ever be," Hyunjin scoffed, flipping his hair in Minho's face. "I'll have you know I have a very deep and inquisitive mind."
"Sure you do, buddy!" Jeongin said, reaching behind Seungmin and patting Hyunjin on the back.
Are we pretending like Hyunjin isn't in a doctorate program or something?
"We can take this outside," Hyunjin said, standing up.
Seungmin yanked him back down on the couch, "Sit down."
Changbin put his phone down, "Han, have you been on your phone today?"
I shook my head, "No, I've been trying to avoid social media. I need my spirit cleansed."
"Don't you work for a social media corporation?" Jeongin said with a puzzled expression all over his face.
"Are you fucking serious right now?" Felix asked me, trying to stifle his laugh. "Last time you said that, you tried to go vegetarian and didn't last a week because you missed KFC so much."
I shrugged, "KFC is good for the soul."
"You want to know what else is good for the soul? Not being a hypocrite." Felix chuckled.
"Okay but seriously guys just - check your News apps, okay?" Changbin said to all of us.
"Is something wrong?" Chan asked him, pulling his phone and unlocking it.
"Depends on your definition of wrong.." Changbin mumbled.
Everyone but me began pulling out their phones and slowly all sat them down, staring at me.
"Why is everyone looking at me like I just run over all of your pets?" I asked, looking around at everyone.
"You remember that bet I made you Friday night?" Minho asked, smirking at me.
"I didn't think that was a bet, I just thought it was you being a nuisance," I said, flicking his forehead.
"Dude, you're viral," Felix said, handing his phone over to me.
I passed it back over to him without looking, "I don't want to know."
"Then we'll just tell you," Seungmin shrugged, beginning to read headlines out to me, "'Mysterious Hottie Poses with Minho Lee on the Red Carpet,' 'Who's the Guy in the Red Suit at the Met Gala - We'll Tell You!' and my personal favorite 'Anaïs Stocks Go Up Simply Because Minho Lee's Personal Assistant is Hot.'"
Oh, no..
"My stocks went up?" Minho mumbled, checking his phone. "Oh, shit.."
"Let me see that," I said, snatching Seungmin's phone out of his hand. "Is this some kind of joke? How'd they find out who I am?"
"I've got a feeling that this was not a part of that apparent bet," Jeongin chuckled to himself.
"No, not even close," I scoffed, handing Seungmin's phone back to him and slouching back on Felix' couch. "This is a nightmare."
"You already knew you'd end up famous doing what you're doing out here, why the sour face?" Hyunjin asked me. "Cheer up, sucker. Minho got you good."
I stood up, "Ugh, I hate all of you. This is cramping my style."
"Han, don't you get what this means? This is an amazing opportunity for you! You could use this newfound fame of yours to find an investor!" Minho exclaimed.
I sat back down and crossed my arms, "Maybe you're right, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. Have they found my socials yet?"
"Yeah, you might want to turn off your Snapchat friend requests," Hyunjin said, causing both him and Seungmin to giggle like children.
If this is all true, that means I have to be much more careful when it comes to you, Minho.
"I don't even want to check," I grimaced, switching positions in my spot on the couch and resting my head in Minho's lap. Everyone looked confused by this, but nobody commented.
Minho began playing with my hair, "Hey, it's okay. I'll help you out with this, alright? I promise you won't go into this blind."
"How are you so sure?" I whined.
"Dude started out as a tech mogul and wound up being a brand ambassador for Yves Saint Laurent and modeling for fashion magazines just because he could. I think he's got you covered, bud," Jeongin said.
Minho looked over at him incredulously, "How do you know all of that?"
"Oh, I'm actually a huge fan. I just didn't want to say anything and creep you out," Jeongin said to him, smiling and nodding.
"You didn't tell me?" I asked him, narrowing my eyebrows as I glared at him.
"I can have secrets, okay?" Jeongin huffed, crossing his arms. "I'm in the tech industry too, you know."
"That was the strangest interaction I've ever witnessed in my life.." Chan mumbled. "Anyways, anyone want to get high?"
Minho, Seungmin, and Jeongin all raised their hands and Hyunjin, Felix, Changbin, and I looked at one another suspiciously.
"Is there a problem?" Chan asked us, pulling what appeared to be a joint out of his pocket. "Felix, do you care if we smoke in here?"
"I don't even know what weed smells like," Felix said, rubbing his hands together nervously."
"It smells like skunk," Jeongin said with a head-nod.
"That's not promising.." Felix trailed off.
"Okay, a better version of skunk smell and it'll make you feel nice. Consider it to be fun truth serum or something. Is that more convincing?" Jeongin asked him.
Felix rolled his eyes, "Fine, but you're going to have to explain to us how this stuff works because we're drinkers, not smokers."
"I got high once but I'm pretty sure it was CBD because I didn't really feel it. Either that or my antidepressants at the time were just too strong.." Hyunjin said, thinking out loud.
"Okay, do you see this?" Chan asked, pointing to one end of the joint. "This is where it'll be lit. And this?" He pointed to the other side. "This is where your mouth goes. You just suck in and then take a breath. Does that sound simple?"
"I've never been good at following instructions.." I said, sitting up from Minho's lap wearily.
"If you've never been good at following instructions, how do you still have a job?" Seungmin asked me jokingly.
"Don't ask me questions!" I exclaimed.
Minho put his hand on my inner thigh , "Hey, you don't have to do anything you don't want to."
I looked him up and down for a moment before looking over at Chan, "Let's do it." I pulled my phone out as Chan began lighting up, "Felix, do you mind if I connect to the Bluetooth?"
"Go for it," Felix shrugged.
I connected my phone and shuffled my Favorites playlist, the song New Chains, Same Shackles beginning to play loudly throughout the apartment.
When the joint made it to me in the rotation, I eyed it carefully before laying my head back on the couch and putting it to my lips. I sucked in slowly, then inhaling what smoke I had in my mouth and shoving it into Minho's hands when I began to cough.
Everyone but me laughed as I toppled over and fell on the floor, coughing my lungs out. Eventually, I made it back on the couch and Minho whispered in my ear, "I never would've guessed that this was your music taste."
I looked over at him and studied his facial features for a moment. I reached my hands out and began touching his face while he hit the joint, "You have such a nice face."
Minho passed the joint and looked at me with confusion, "What are you doing?"
Suddenly feeling very giddy, I began to laugh, "You look funny when you're serious."
"I'm just sitting here?" Minho laughed, grabbing my hands and removing them from his face, yet still holding them.
"Fruit cups.." Seungmin murmured under his breath.
"Just for that, I'm gonna go lay in Felix' bed and ignore all of you." I stood up and stomped off to Felix' bedroom, slamming the door behind me and flopping onto his bed.
Yes, I am a grown ass man.
Theatrics are fun, what can I say?
In time, I heard the bedroom door open and looked up from my phone to see Minho standing there shutting and locking the door behind him. I smiled at him warmly and said, "You're here!"
"Damn, I feel wanted," Minho grinned, sitting down on the bed next to me.
"Tell me why I only took one hit of whatever the fuck that was and I'm higher than a damn kite," I whispered to Minho lowly, causing the two of us to laugh obnoxiously.
"Why'd you leave? You're the one that's been playing music for us," Minho asked me, shaking my shoulders.
"Seungmin called us fruit cups," I frowned.
Minho burst into laughter, "That's fucking funny."
"Hey, you're mean!" I pouted at him.
"Aww, is the baby sad? Is baby gonna cry?" Minho asked me sarcastically, smushing my cheeks together with his hands.
"The baby's gonna strangle you if you don't stop," I joked.
"I don't think babies have the strength required to strangle a person, but okay."
"Do you want to wrestle again? I won last time," I chuckled.
"When do you have time to work out?" Minho asked me. "I swear I never would've guessed that you'd be more into fitness than me had I not seen you in that one shirt of yours."
"When will everyone shut the fuck up about the shirt? It was one time!" I exclaimed in defense of myself.
"It's not about the shirt, Han. It's about what was underneath it," Minho said, patting my knee. "But seriously, when do you work out? I have to ask."
"Usually anywhere from one to four in the morning."
Minho's eyes widened, "When do you sleep?"
"I don't." I said with a smile.
"Do you just take intermittent naps or something?" Minho asked.
I shrugged, "Yeah, basically."
We sat in silence for a moment before I looked over at him and grabbed his face, "There's something that I need to do that I can't do when I'm sober."
Minho furrowed his eyebrows, "What's that?"
"I need to kiss you."