(A/N) Valentine's day special!....... Bc I know everyone's sad 'cause AJR's spending valentine's day with other people :'( (or maybe that's just me)
And even tho I said this was a valentine's day special, it literally has nothing to do with valentine's day. It's just extra long.
Also thanks for 10k views holy hecc
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Austin, watching Jack dance on stage: Has Jack always had a habit of running headlong into certain death?
Adam: Sometimes he walks, occasionally he shuffles, periodically he ambles. Once, I'm pretty sure I saw him trip into certain death.
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Jack: Alright, let's destroy this performance just like we destroyed our extended family's hopes and dreams for our career when we chose to be musicians!
Arnetta: Wha-
Adam and Ryan: Couldn't have said it better!
Arnetta: Are you three okay?!
Ryan: Of course. We actually don't know what our extended family thinks of our music career because they stopped answering our calls!
Arnetta:
Jack: :D
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(When they were kids)
Jack: Hey, are you busy?
Adam, trying to do homework: Yeah, I'm doing-
Jack, dragging him to the living room: Cool! Now come play in this spaceship I built with Ryan and I.
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Ryan: I never know what to say to people at funerals.
Adam: Just say "I'm sorry for you loss" and move on.
*Later*
Ryan, at a funeral: I'm sorry for your loss...... Move on.
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Jack: So I'm sitting there, bbq sauce on my titties-
Ryan: *dying of laughter*
(Idk why this fits them imo)
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Chris: What are you staring at?
Arnetta, pointing at Jack who's trying to tie his shoes: Him. He's been trying for five minutes straight.
Austin: ...... He doesn't know how to tie his shoe laces??
Ezra: Guys, I think he's crying-
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Jack: *Gets into car with helium balloons*
Adam: Are those helium balloons?!
Ryan: Oh for f*ck's sake!
Jack: Yeah-
*Car starts flying*
Adam: Why did you come into the car with helium balloons?!
Ryan: Ah, it's too late now. We're flying away.
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Adam: Jack, where's your shirt?
Jack: What did you think was in the pancakes?
Adam:
Jack:
Adam: I'm leaving.
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(After Jack hits his head)
Adam: Okay, if it's a concussion, you have to keep him conscious. Ask him questions.
Ryan, to Jack: What's 7 times 7?
Adam, sighing: Stuff he knows.
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Ryan: If you're lucky, your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in complete darkness.
Jack: noT IF I SWALLOW THIS GLOW STICK-
Adam: NO-
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Ryan, talking to Ezra: Can you believe that my older brother, Adam, said he doesn't love me and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?
Adam: That's not what I said.
Ryan: Then what did you say?!
Adam: I just said you couldn't get another dog.
Ryan, crying: THAT'S BASICALLY THE SAME THING AND YOU KNOW IT!
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Adam: Where did I go to college?
Jack: HA! Trick question, you didn't go to college!
Adam:
Adam: I'm literally getting my PhD.
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Adam, who hasn't slept in days: Alright, I'ma check out now.
Adam: *Passes out on the kitchen floor*
Jack and Ryan: *Puts a blanket over him*
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Adam, on the phone: Jack, the worst thing you can do in a situation like this is take matters into your own hands.
Jack: Got it!
Jack: *Hangs up*
Jack: We're going to have to take matters into our own hands, Ry.
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Jack: I just saw two little kids in a fistfight, so as an adult, I had to step in.
Ryan: Oh, good for you-
Jack: They didn't stand a chance.
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Jack: In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed!
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(When they were kids and Ryan makes a secret clubhouse)
Ryan, guarding his clubhouse: Security card, please?
Jack: Okay, here.
Ryan: This is just a receipt for some heelys you bought.
Jack: *Has already heely'd past him and into the clubhouse*
Ryan: Damn.... That was cool.
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Jack, angrily: LET'S BREAK THE WINDOWS, IT'S TOO HOT FOR THOSE SH*TS!
Adam: Or.... Y'know..... You could just open them....?
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(AJR in a nutshell)
Adam: Let's never be stupid again.
Jack and Ryan, dragging him into all their sh*t: Let's always be stupid forever!
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Jack: Baby changing station?
Jack: *Covers the 'c' on the sign with his hand*
Jack: Baby hanging station!
Adam and Ryan: *claps*
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(When they were kids)
Ryan, holding up a cookie: Want to split the last cookie?
Jack: No. *Eats it whole and bites Ryan's hand while he's at it*
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Jack, drunk: When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like "what?"
Ryan, furiously writing what Jack said into his music notebook: write that down, write that down, write that down-
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Adam: I love you two and all of your flaws.
Jack: B*tch, what flaws?
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Adam: You either buckle down and do your work or you'll end up at McDonald's.
Jack and Ryan: We're going to McDonald's if we don't do our work?
Adam: nO-
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(AJR, talking to Arnetta about being their new trumpeter)
Adam: Welcome. We're a band called AJR, it's nice to meet you.
Arnetta: Oh, thank you-
Adam: And now that you're here, you must learn the rules. Rule number one-
Jack and Ryan, in the background: Rule number one? Be swag!
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Jack: Yum, thanks!
Kidnapper, putting more duct tape over his mouth: I said stop eating it-
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Jack, trying to get a date: Alright, I didn't want to have to do this but you leave me no choice.
Girl that's already rejected him: ......?
Jack: Here comes the smolder-
Adam: *smacks him*
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Jack: *swings bat at Adam and misses.
Jack: Strike one.
Adam: That's not how this works.
Jack: *swings bat again*
Jack: Strike two. One more and you're out.
Adam, under his breath: F*ck.
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Adam: Alright, is everyone ready to go? We'll get on the freeway, and carpool from there.
Jack, putting a water hose in the car: I'm two steps ahead of you.
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(When they were younger)
Jack: ARE YOU-
Ryan: f*cking
Jack: KIDDING ME?! You-
Ryan: f*cking
Jack: -IDIOT!
Adam: ....... What the hell was that?
Ryan: Mom banned Jack from using curse words so I volunteered to help him out.
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(Jack, introducing Alba to his brothers)
Jack: Hey, this is my girlfriend, Alba.
Alba: Hi Adam and Ryan! It's nice to meet you!
Adam: You seriously couldn't find any better?
Jack: Hey! Don't say that! I love her and-
Adam: I wasn't talking to you.
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(If Ryan was a judge, probably)
Ryan: Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Person: No.
Ryan:
Ryan: What do I do now.
Jack, from the background: Kill them.
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Adam: I'm going to bed early tonight.
Adam:
Adam: Wait, is that the sun?
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Happy Valentine's day! Love ya guys!