𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ☂︎ 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬

CHAPTER 24 ☂︎ FUCKING INSANE

"What? Just walking around Dallas?" Luther asked Five, looking at Y/n as she walked up slowly over to the man-child.

"Walking around in Dallas with a briefcase that could get us home." Five answered, stepping forward a bit.

"Oh my God, Five. You're a genius."

"He knows this." Y/n nodded her head, standing next to Five now.

"Where were you? Where's Diego?" Five looked at Y/n, then around the room.

"Lila fucking showed up and poisoned Diego and I." She pointed at herself, then the door downstairs.

"You let her feed you?" Five questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"No! It was alcohol and I should've went with my fucking gut. I should've fucking went with it." She cursed, crossing her arms.

"She got him, right?" Five asked, making Y/n nod her head.

"Yeah, she must have taken him with her back to the Comission 'cause she's fucking insane." She motioned to him, crossing her arms again, "So the plan is to find old you?"

"Yes. However, there are two significant problems with this plan." Five turned around, facing away from the two, "Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum alongside Y/n." He motioned to her, then continued to walk back and forth, "If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here–" He paused, putting a hand on the back of his neck.

"You're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline." Y/n went on for him, looking over at Luther.

"The side effects can be disastrous." Five walked closer to Luther, stating.

"Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther asked, looking back and forth between the two.

"Well, according to Commission Handbook: Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are..." Five paused as Y/n sat down.

The two assassins started to speak in unison, "Stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, seven: homicidal rage."

"Homicidal rage?" Luther questioned, putting a hand on his chin as he leaned against the door frame.

"Yeah." Five and Y/n answered monotonously.

"Jeez, I don't know. This maybe isn't such a good idea."

Five raised his arms as he walked away, "It's a Hail Mary." He dropped his arms at his sides, "But what choice do we got, Luther?"

"I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest." Luther crossed his arms, then scratched his chin.

Y/n stood up, proposing an idea, "Luther and I could go, so you won't have to go through all of that."

"No, I'm gonna need you guys to help me get through this one, all right?" Five spoke, grabbing Y/n's arm, pulling her over to Luther, "I... I need a spotter." He put his hands on Luther's arms.

"A spotter?" Luther looked down at his older brother.

"Yeah."

"What is that, like, a wingman?" Luther furrowed his eyebrows.

"In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe," Five spoke quietly, "I need you guys to help me stay on task, all right? So, whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase." He looked back and forth at Y/n and Luther, "Okay?"

"Okay." Luther nodded his head, Y/n rolled her eyes, but did agree.

"Okay." Five said softly before walking away quickly, Y/n following after him. The two turned around to see Luther still standing in the doorway, "Luther, come on."

"Right." He nodded his head, going to follow the two.