Heroes (A Carl Grimes fanfiction)

Chapter29-Four months later

*four months later*

Elana's P.O.V.

Its been four months. A long hard four months. Ive learned how to keep my family safe though. I learned how to shoot a gun and when to use that gun. Im a good aim. Im the one who goes out and gets supplies some times. Actually not really because mom doesn't trust me alone since i tried stabbing my self once. If you guessed why your probably correct. Your thinking its because i missed Carl? Well yeah thats it. Im actually crying about it now. "Baby i missed you." i hear Carl whisper as he wipes my tears away. "Don't cry princess. Im right here." Carl says and kisses my lips. I kiss him back even though its not real. I know it isn't. This happens a lot. I think he's there but he isn't its just my imagination. "Your not real." i say softly and Carl kisses my forehead. "I love you." he whispers as i close my eyes "I love you too." I open my eyes and he was gone, just like every other day. I cry more and shake my head "I cant do it!" I cry as o grab my bag. I look for my blade. I finally found it and dragged the blade across my skin several times. "Nanny why are you doing that?" I hear the little innocent voice that belonged to my beautiful niece. "Madie get out!" I say sternly as i still cry. "Your bleeding." Madie says. "Aunt Carol Nanny is bleeding!" She yells and i frown. Mom runs into the room "Elana you gotta stop this!" My mom says. She grabs some supplies and wraps up my arm and cleans it. "Carl wouldn't want this." Mom says.After that they left the room and of course mom took everything from me. "Why do you do this to your self Elana?" I hear Carl's voice ask. i turn my head to see "Carl". "Because your not here." i say and shake my head "But i am! Im still here! You just cant see me." Carl says "Im going crazy." i say "No. Your just craving me to be with you." Carl says. "Now go to sleep baby girl. You need it" he says and kisses my temple. I laid down and of course he was gone. "Why do you always leave? Why cant i find you then you stay?" I ask as a few tears leave my eyes. I grabbed my pillow and pulled it up to my chest. "I will find you one day, and thats a promise."

Carl's P.O.V.

"Why is he always so mad? And why doesnt he talk to any girl? I mean come on cant you tell i want you Carl?" I hear a new girl say. "He lost his girlfriend because of some guy and hasn't gotten over it." Beth replies. We Have been on the road sine Elana left. That day Shane died and the farm got over ran. If i would've known maybe i could've got her to stay. I miss the hell out of her. It makes me depressed now."He can get over her! Im here she isn't!" The girl who's name is Bailey says. "Its not that easy i was in love with her plus you couldn't deal with the person i am! She could and only she can!" I growl at the girl. "What type of person are you then?" Bailey asks. "A crazy one who hears voices, stabbed his ex girlfriend, and is depressed." i say with a smirk. "Yeah i stabbed her." i say as the girls mouth dropped. "Could i stab you and would you still understand and forgive me?" I ask as i stepped closer to Bailey. She gulped as i placed my hand onto my knife "It went right into her stomach, and she somehow still forgave me and its because she is like me in a way." i say. "Are you like me at all?" I whisper into Bailey's ear. She stayed quite and i chuckled "Thats what i thought." i say and continue to walk. I sigh as i think anout the beautiful girl i love. She was so full of doubt and sorrow. I smile as i think of her beautiful face then frown. I missed her dearly. I craved her lips on mine everyday but i knew i couldn't get them. "Are they crazy?" Bailey asks Beth. "No they're just different." Beth says. "He loved her so much. Before all this her dad would beat her, her mom and sometimes her little sister who she lost during this. When she started dating Carl this man Carl's family knew Shane was so hateful to her she tried killing herself a lot because of him. Then she was saying how Carl should just kill her and let her. She said she wanted to die and he stabbed her because the voices told him she would he in a better and happier place and he only wanted her to be happy ." Beth says. "She got better, she did. A few weeks later they were fine. Both doing great not a thing happened. Then Shane tried to rape her. Thankfully Carl walked in and her little Niece Madie told Carl Shane is hurting Nanny. He ran up there to find her on in her undergarments. That night she said it was ether him or them who had to leave. Rick of course didn't want to throw his friend out so they left. This devastated Carl and now he wont stop looking for her no matter what." beth says and i frown as i still think of her beautiful features and they way our lips collided when she kissed me and how her hand fit in mine perfectly.

You wont ever see her agin.

Oh no not this! Not agin! Please no voices!

Might as well kill yourself...your worthless with out her.

"Dad are we about to stop?" I ask and Dad nods "We'll stop here." He says. He clears the house and i run into a room.

Do it. Your all alone. Come on. Do it like Elana does. She's probably dead any way! DO IT!

"Stop please just stop!" I beg as i close the door.I start to cry and sit on the floor.

She would want you too do it, so you could be with her.

"Maybe.....maybe i should. I would no longer have pain." I say as i pick up the gun dad let me have. "Put the gun down" i hear my dad say. I turn around to see him. He takes my gun "Don't listen to them. This isn't what Elana would want." Dad says. "Its your fault she's gone! If you would've just killed Shane in the first place then i would have her right next to me and none of this would be happening!" I yell in tears. My dad stays silent as my mom walks in. "I miss her so much!" I say "I don't want to do this if she isn't here." I say truthfully. "She's the only one who understands." i say. "Oh sweetie." Mom says and comes up to me. She hugs me "I miss her." i cry. "I know you do honey. I know you do." mom says. "We have no clue where they went we cant find them." Dad says "But we cant stop!" I say. "And we wont." i say. "Okay thats fine." My mom says. "Now get some sleep." dad says and i nod. They left and i just sat in the room for a while thinking about Elana until i feel asleep.

___________________________

Sorry its short but i have a lot to do for the next chapter so it should be long!-H