Heroes (A Carl Grimes fanfiction)

Chapter26-Not leaving

*five days later*
Carl's P.O.V.

I've been out here for days. I stayed next to the farm but no one ever found me.There is barley any walkers so I'm good and I have food in my bag. I cry constantly and still get the voices. "Carl..... please I know you have to be out here somewhere you wouldn't dare go to far without Elana, but you just won't show us where you are." I hear Glenn say. "She woke up. She's alive.....and confused, she's been asking for you all day." Glenn says "Carl she's crying and won't stop! She won't eat get rest move talk drink! Nothing but cry under a sheet of blankets! Come back! No one is mad we can help you! Hershel can help you!" Glenn says and I feel my heart shatter at the thought of Elana crying for me. "She's been crying for me?" I whisper and here footsteps come up be hind me. "Your coming back! She won't stop! She's been up for at least fifteen hours now maybe even a little more." Glenn says and I turn around. "Look at me! I almost killed my girlfriend I can't go back!" I yell. "Your coming back! Seeing her this way is breaking everybody! Your mother is worried sick about you! I just found you I am not letting you go back there!" Glenn yells and grabs my arm. "Stop!" I yell and then see my dad behind Glenn. "You.....why? Why would you try and leave us?" My dad asks. "I nearly killed the person I loved! I can't do that to anyone else!" I reply. My dad grabs me from Glenn. He drags me too the house and as I am being dragged in by my dad u can hear Elana's cries. "Lori!" My dad yells. My mom runs out of a room, You could she had been crying for a while. Her eyes were blood shot red. "Carl!" My mom says and runs over to me. She hugs me and I just stand there. "She won't stop no matter what. Carl you have to go make this right!" My mom says as she pulls away. "I can't hurt her agin!" I say as I shake my head. "Carl your hurting her by not being with her!" My mom says. I frown then nod. I walk towards Elana's door and put my hand on the door knob. "Why would he leave me?" I hear Elana ask as she cries. "Sweetie he's scared he will hurt you agin" I hear Maggie says then I open the door just a little quietly "But he won't!" Elana cries. I open the door and see Elana sitting on her bed with her knees pressed to her chest. "Carl!" She says and jumps off the bed. "Elana be careful your not fully healed!" Maggie fusses as Elana hugs me. "Please don't leave me! I'll help you! Please I just need you!" She pleads as tears fall into my shirt. I hug her and she tightens her grip on me. "I can't stay with you I hurt you Elana" I whisper as tears fall out of my eyes. "No you have to stay!" Elana says then kisses my lips over and over agin. "Please you have too." she says and rubs her thumbs over my cheeks. "I don't want to hurt you agin though." I say as tears start to put out of my eyes. "I hurt you once and ne-nearly killed yo-you! I can't do that a-agin!" I say and Elana shake her head. "You won't!" She says and clutches onto me. "Don't leave me." she whispers and kisses my
cheek. "Did you try to leave me?" I whisper and she stays quite. "They told me what happened and that you were gone for so long I-" she says and I cut her off "There's no excuse you can't do that!" I say as she wipes my tears away. "I know. I'm sorry, I'll stop if you stay with me. Carl you just need a little help we can help you! This world has changed everybody... I love you and no matter what I always will! Plus I wanted you too do it and you granted my wish it just didn't work as best as I wanted it too." Elana replies. "Just stay with me and you have to promise you will!" Elana says and i sigh. "I promise, but what if I hurt you agin?"i ask and she shakes her head. "You won't ." She whispers and then kisses me.

Elana's P.O.V.

I wasn't scared of him. I knew we could help him. There was nothing to be scared of. He was the same Carl I feel in love with and always will be. This world changed people. This is probably expected. I sit down on my bed and open my arms up "I miss my baby." I say as Carl walks over to the bed then sits down. "I miss you too." Carl says. He lays down as he wraps his arms around my waist. I lay my head on his chest then wrap my arms around his neck. "What do the voices tell you?" I ask. "They told me to do it, they said you'd be in a better place with no suffering. When I didn't it and ran away they told me it was right because my baby wasn't suffering anymore." He says and I nuzzle my head in too his chest. "I wouldn't have been suffering anymore in it would've worked." I say and kiss Carl's neck. "They said you were dead at first, then Hershel said he knew how to fix you after that I ran away. I thought you were gone for good which scares the crap out of me." Carl says and I start to play with his hair. "You will never lose me." I whisper in his ear. "Im scared." Carl says as he tightens his grip around my waist. "Are they back?" I ask and he nods. "There saying I'm a failure because I didn't do what you said. I didn't stop you from suffering." Carl says as tears roll down his cheeks and onto neck. "Your not a failure. My wish is to stay with you now. You need me and as long as you need me I'm not going anywhere." I say. "Promise?" "Promise." I say. "While you were gone Hershel left while after he fixed me. Maggie and Beth stayed with me. They are so sweet." I say as Lori walks in. "I wanted to be the one who found Sophia. I wanted to find her because she's one of my best friends and because my other best friend needed her." Carl says and places his hand on my knee. "I would've done the same thing my dad did though if I was in his position. I wouldn't want her to live like that for anther minute." Carl says. "Elana there's something I need to talk to you about." Lori says with a sigh "Hershel told us to leave, and if we do he said you Madie and your mom could stay here, He said he liked you two and that y'all are family to him already" Lori says and Carl looks at me "Your not gonna stay are you?" Carl asks and I look at him. "I....I don't know! That's my mom who says what we do!" I say and Carl stands up. "Your gonna let her separate us?" Carl asks. "No! Carl I don't want that! But if my mom says we're staying what am I suppose to do? Go with you and leave my mom? Would you do that?" I ask and Carl sits down "No." he says quietly. "And I wouldn't ether. I can't. The best thing I could do is get her to change her mind" I grab Carl's hand. "I wanna stay with you. Your the only thing that keeps me thinking right! That keeps me from killing myself! I can never fully do it because each time I try something tells me while I'm passed out that I can't leave you because If I leave you Im killing you." i say. "You are! If you die I told you I would probably die to!" Carl says. "That's why I said stay with each other, because that way you both stay... I don't know alive" Lori says and then walks out of the room. I look at Carl and smile "I miss you." I say and blink "my eyes hurt from crying." I say with a slight laugh. Carl frowns and lays down on the bed. "Lay down and get some sleep." He says and I nod. I lay down next to him and he wraps his arms around me. He starts to play with my hair as I close my eyes. "Do you think we moved into this relationship to fast?" I ask. "I mean we're twelve and were saying I love you and kissing each other." I say and open my eyes. "What are you saying?" Carl asks as he stops playing with my hair and just leaves his hand on my head where he was playing with my hair "Nothing! I'm just asking you what you think." I say. "I mean what do we actually know about love?" I ask. "I know enough to know I would kill for you Elana! Are you saying we don't actually love each other?" Carl asks as he sits up. "No! Babe that's not it at all Im just....a little scared about what everyone else actually thinks." I reply. "It doesn't matter what they think we love each other! You do love me right?" Carl asks nervously. "I....well yeah, but still." I say and then shake my head. "Never mind." i say and Carl shakes his head "Do you have a problem with us loving each other? Is that the problem?" Carl asks. "No that's not it Carl!" "Then are you embarrassed to be in love with me? What is it please tell me Elana, because I can tell your uncomfortable about this!" Carl says. "Carl do you honest think we're gonna be together forever?" I yell. "Most people in high school don't and that scares the hell out of me because I do love you! I do! But like i said most people who date someone at sixteen usually don't live together and have a family! What makes you think we do when we're twelve!" I yell as tears brim my eyes. Carl stays silent and I shake my head. "It's scares me so much because I truly do love you and I know I'm probably way over my head here about this love thing but I like I said I love you!" I say and a tear slips out of my eye. I wipe it away. "I just want to go to bed." I lay down and face my back towards Carl. He still didn't say anything. I heard him walk towards the door, open it then slam it shut, I grabbed his pillow and hugged it to my chest. "Just leave me alone!" I hear Carl yell. I hug the pillow harder and let my tears soak the pillow. After two hours of lying there and falling asleep once for fifteen minutes, Carl finally came back and quietly closed the door. I closed my eyes "What do you want us to do Elana? Just give up?" Carl asks and I stay silent "Come on i know your not asleep!" Carl says and rips the pillow from my arms "Answer me!" He yells as tears fall down his face. I sit up "I don't know Carl!" I yell. "The truth is hurting me as much as its hurting you!" I growl. "Now just leave me alone." I say and get under the blankets. Carl rips off the blankets "We are not ignoring this!" He yells and I stand up. "What do you want me to say?" I yell. "That were done!" I yell. "Is that what you want?" He yells back. "Oh my god! No! Carl I told I love you! I don't want to do that but if we have to I will because I am so sick and tired of the fighting and yelling and cutting and leaving and the scars!" I yell as my tears roll down my cheeks. "Im so tired of it but for some reason I need you! I don't know why but I do! So what's it gonna be Carl! Do you just wanna stop now! Just give up on everything we've been through? Is that what you want?" I yell. "No that's not what I want!" He yells back. " I want to stay with you but I'm tired of fighting! Im tired of it all!" Carls yells. I cover my eyes with my hands as I cry. "I just want to be alone." I say. "Each time we get happy we always get angry right after." I say and start to cry. "I can't do this." I say as I stand up and run down the stairs" Elana please no! I want to work this out!" Carl says as he runs midway down the stairs. "I c-can't do this!" I say as I try and catch my breath from crying so much. Carl falls onto one of the steps and rubs his face with his hands in frustration. "We both know where this is gonna lead! To the same position were in now Carl!" I say. "God damn it Elana!" Carl yells and bangs his fist on the stairs"Who the hell said that!You did! So your saying we're giving up?" Carl yells. "Carl we both know it!" I say and Carl walks over to me. "I don't care you can't leave me!" Carl says and closes his eyes shut. "They're back." Carl whimpers. "Elana Im scared." Carl says as tears fall from his eyes. "W-what are they saying?" I ask. "There saying to give up. To do what you do, so I can feel all the pain I made you go through." Carl says. I grab his arms "Don't you dare! You fight those voices and you don't do it!" I say. I was scared for Carl now. "Don't leave me please." Carl begs. "They only come when I'm mad or sad or when I'm fighting with you or crying over you." Carl says. "You can't leave me Elana! If you leave me who knows what they'll tell me to do." Carl says and grabs my hand "Elana please!" He begs and starts to cry. He falls to the floor in a ball "Make them stop!" He yells and I kneel down next to him and wrap my arms around him. "Make them stop please!" Carl begs as he cries harder. "Shh Im not leaving you. I can't." I say as I look At Carl. I couldn't leave him no matter what now because this poor boy was suffering and I could help if I just stayed. I rocked back and forth with him my arms and Lori walked into the room to make sure everything was okay. I waved my hand signaling for her to leave. Carl was still crying and was clutching onto me. "Please don't leave." Carl begs. "Im not going anywhere." I say as I kiss his temple. "Your my big baby aren't you?" I ask and Carl smiles and nods.I giggle "I love you, and I don't care what people say or think about me saying I love you because I truly do." i say and Carl sits i between my legs and hugs my waist while laying his head on my thigh. "How do you deal with this depressed thing? It's hard." Carl says. "Baby it is hard. But you have to be strong and fight it." I say. "You must be really strong. Way stronger then I ever thought and I thought you were the strongest girl I had ever meet." Carl says and I smile. "C-Can we go lay down?" Carl asks. "Of course." I say. We walked over to the bedroom and Carl laid down. "This is hard." Carl sighs. "Yeah. I know." I say as I lay down besides him. I didn't want to fight anymore. It was getting stressful and hopefully after today there will be no more fights for a while. Carl hugged me all night and didn't let me go. He has his head buried in my neck and made sure I was close. I felt bad for him. He was new to this depressed feeling. He also freaking out because of the voice. I have to admit that what was new for me but I love him and I'm not gonna leave him when he needs me the most.