Heroes (A Carl Grimes fanfiction)

Chapter17-Depressed

Elana's P.O.V.

My eyes opened and I was in a unfamiliar room. I look around and see Beth sitting at my bed side. She runs to the door "Lori,Carol, Daryl,Glenn, Rick! She's up!" Beth yells and I look at her confused. I look down at my arms and see them bandaged up. Guess killing myself didn't work to well. Mama, Daryl, Lori, Rick, and Glenn all ran into the room. "Why Elana why?" my mama yells and I frown. I didn't want to talk to anyone so I didn't say a word. "Elana tell me what happened right now!" my mom yells and I start to cry."Elana what happened?" Mama yells as I start to cry more. "Stop she's obviously depressed stop! Get out! I have to get daddy to work with her." Beth says and pushes everyone out. "Daddy! Elana needs help later on!" I hear Beth yell. "Elana? Mom what's wrong with Elana?" I hear Carl ask "No tell me now!" I hear Carl yell. "I need to se him." I say and stand up. I hurry up and change into a long sleeve shirt then wash Carl's blood off my hands since I didn't get it last night. I walk down stairs and into Carl's room. "Elana! Baby why are you crying?" Carl asks and I shake my head "I was worried about you." I say and Carl pats the side of the bed. I sit down next to him. I scoot away from Carl and he reaches to grab my arm but I scoot back and fall off the bed. "Elana what's wrong?" He asks as I stand up. "Nothing I just..." I say and Carl nods."Still a little mad yeah I get it." Carl says and frowns "Carl ple- " "No just go." Carl says and I look at him "Carl I-" "I said go! Your mad at me! You don't want me I get it! Just go!" Carl yells and I notice he's on the verge of tears. "Baby please sto-" I say and put my hand on top of Carl's he slaps it away painfully hard. I wince and hold my hand up to my chest."I said go! God! Can't you tell when someone doesn't want you with them? No wonder why everyone hates you!" Carl yells and I start to cry. "I am so done with you Carl Grimes! You call me beautiful then you say I'm horrible! My god! I should try killing myself agin for you and Shane!" I yell and pull off my badges. "I promise next time I'll be able to die and I'll make sure I'm out of your life!" I yell and grab a knife that was on the table in the room. I put the knife up to my neck and rip off the necklace Carl gave me and threw it at him. "I told you I was a broken mess." I say and Lori shoves the knife out of my hand. "Carl Grimes you were gonna let her kill herself! You better apologize now!" Lori yells as I fall to the floor and cry. "Just let me die! I wanna die! Please just kill me!" I cry and Rick walks in. "What happened!" he yelled "Your son was gonna let Elana kill herself!" Lori yells. "Carl!" Rick yells "I-I'm sorry I... I just-" "Want me to die." I say and stand up. "Please kill me because I've tired thousands of times and it didn't work!Ive tried and tried and everytime for some reason it doesn't work!" I scream at Carl as he cries. "Why are you crying? Its not like you love me to feel bad for me! Your a god damn prick and I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I scream and Lori hugs me. "I hate you! I hate you!" I cry over and over agin. Carl was crying and you could tell his mom and dad were mad. "You! I don't want you next to her!" Rick hisses at Carl as he clutched the my old necklace to his chest. Lori stroked my hair and shushed me as I cried. "I'm sorry baby I love you so much." Carl cries. "No you don't so just shut up!" I cry and then Daryl and Mama walk in. "Elana!" my mama says and I run into her arms. "The hell you did to er?!?" Daryl yells as I run and hug him. "I didn't mean too I was just mad because she didn't want to talk to me and I said some really stupid things and I really sorry!" Carl cried. Hershel walked in "Whys he crying? He can't get himself worked up!" Hershel says "I don't care what happens to him anymore." I say and Carl looks at me "please just l-let me talk to her alone." Carl says and Lori loos at me "You need anything just yell." she says and I nod. Everyone leaves and I close the door. "Here have your stupid key back too. I took it from Hershel when you went into surgery.Give it to some other girl." I say and throw the key at Carl's face. "Oops" I say sarcastically and Carl shakes his head. "Im sorry." Carl says and I scoff "Your always sorry." I say and Carl stand up and pushes me up against a wall. He picks up my wrists and kisses my cuts. "I take back every single bad thing I said to you a little while ago." Carl says and I push him away. "Let me do it." I whisper so no one outside the door could hear. "Let me stop suffering." I beg and Carl shakes his head. "If You did that I would suffer." Carl says as he grabs onto my waist. I push away "I don't have time for this I need to find Sophia." I say and Carl closes his eyes shut then slides down the wall till he was sitting on the the floor. He pulls his legs up to his stomach and cries. "Please just stay with me. You don't even have to stay next to me just stay in the same room as me please." Carl says and I sigh. I really need someone and that someone was Carl. But how was I suppose to be with him when he just said he hates me? "I'm sorry but no." I say and go over to Carl's bag. I take out a note I made for him "I'm just gonna read this." I say and sigh. "This is from the second day we were dating." I say and Carl looks at me. "Dear Carl hi its Elana. I just wanted to say I love you so much and if I'm dead by the time you read this note this will tell you why. I was ether bit or I killed my self because I'm getting depressed. I'm sorry but I just want to die all the time. I'm sorry if I left you. I really love you but I'm a broken mess no one can fix,you had to expect this." I say and look at Carl. "Your depressed?" Carl asks and I nod "Ninety nine percent of the time I'm depressed." I say and Carl stands up. "Is that why you keep cutting?" Carl asks and I nod. "Sometimes I hope I go to deep and no one finds me so I can bleed out." I say with a blank expression on my face. carl grabbed my wrist and kisses my cuts. "Im sorry." Carl says and I nod. "Lay down you need rest." Carl says and he brings me to the bed. I lay down and Carl lays down next to me. "I love you." Carl says and I just nod. He frowns "She's just depressed Carl you can get her better then fix all of this." I hear him whisper to himself and I turned my back towards him while hearing him sigh.