The Assistant | Scavi

Gone

TW for inferred suicidal thoughts. DM me if necessary! 

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It was a rough night for Scott. He woke up at least once an hour and made sure that Avi was still sleeping soundly next to him. And he was. There were no signs of him getting a panic attack, nothing.

Remembering what Mitch had said the day before, Scott assumed that his boyfriend was so exhausted that his brain had just shut off for the night. Still, Scott was worried and it took him until the early morning to finally fall asleep, exhausted from being on high alert in the past hours.

~

Scott woke up again with a start. He didn't know why, but he was wide awake immediately. He turned around slowly so he wouldn't wake up Avi, but found the other side of the bed empty.

This alarmed him just a little bit because usually after a tough night, he would be up early, organising breakfast or be in nature.

So after a look at his phone which confirmed that it was only 8 am, he got up and went to the bathroom, got dressed in the clothes he had worn the night before and then went downstairs, hoping to find his boyfriend quickly.

But he was neither in the kitchen nor the garden. Scott got a little worried and searched the rest of the house, even the little studio space in the basement he has never been to.

"Avi? AVI!" he started calling almost desperately when he didn't find his boyfriend anywhere in the house. He didn't want him to be alone, because he expected a panic attack to happen sooner or later.

He pulled out his phone and tried calling Avi, just in case he had left to get something, but his call went straight to voicemail.

Without thinking about it, he called his best friend's number and hoped that he would be awake already.

"Scotty, hi. How can I help you? Does he need my appointment?" Mitch said immediately.

"He's gone, Mitchy. I fucked up! I... shouldn't have left him alone" Scott said.

Scott heard some rustling in the background, apparently, Mitch was just leaving the room. "Did you search the whole house? Garden, basement, guest rooms?"

"I did" Scott replied. "I just tried calling him, but his phone seems to be turned off. I cannot reach him."

Mitch hummed. "Maybe he just drove off to get something for breakfast. You've been on the road for months."

"Esther and Darien stocked up the fridge with some basics so he doesn't have to leave the house for now" Scott explained. "But maybe he's taking a walk? Usually, he goes to the park when he needs some space."

"Okay, so you can either wait for him to come home and go and search for him" Mitch concluded.

"If... if I take his bike I'll be fast. I can search for him easily. Mitch, I have to find him. I... it's my fault, I fell asleep."

Mitch took a deep breath. "Scott. Nothing of this is your fault. Please calm down, okay. At least try to. Deep breaths.

"I'm trying," Scott said. "But it's just a lot to handle. Avi, he... last night he just went to bed. Like he was on autopilot. He didn't talk, didn't cuddle."

"Because of the shock", Mitch concluded. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I fell asleep. I wanted to take care of him and for the first few hours, I woke up every now and then and looked after him. But then I slept until 8. And now he's gone" Scott explained.

"Scotty. It's not your fault. And even if you messed up, it doesn't matter right now. You need to calm down. For Avi's sake." Mitch knew that this would help Scott focus.

"Okay" Scott just said.

"Good. What are you doing right now, Scott?"

"Putting on my shoes so I can get out there and search for him," Scott said. He took one of Avi's beanies to cover his bed hair and grabbed the spare key from the rack.

"Good. I'm on my way to my car. We'll meet at the park. You can start searching for him and I will call you once I'm there, okay?" Mitch said.

"You're coming?" Scott asked as he locked the front door and pushed the button that would open the garage.

"Of course I am coming. Four eyes see more than two, don't they?" Mitch said softly.

"Thank- fuck!" Scott.

"Scott?" Mitch asked, confused. "What's wrong?"

"Mitch... his car is not here."

"Deep breaths, Scott. Don't panic that doesn't have to mean anything" Mitch said softly.

"How can it not mean anything, Mitch. You told me that he was in some state of shock and that he might break down eventually. What if he did and is now doing something irrational?" Scott suppressed a sob. "I should've been watching over him. I never should have fallen asleep. I... fuck, what if he... I need to search for him."

"I'll stop you right here, Scott. You will stay where you are. Go inside the house, leave the front door unlocked, I'll be with you in ten minutes. Do not try to search him, we'll make a plan once I'm with you, okay?" Mitch said with a firm voice as he got into his own car and buckled up.

"Y-yes. Please Hurry."

"I will. I have to drive now, but I'll be with you as soon as possible" Mitch said.

"Yes."

Once Mitch had ended the car, Scott just looked around as if he was waiting for Avi's car to magically arrive. He thought about taking the bike and searching for him anyway, but then he remembered Mitch's words. Go inside.

He closed the garage and went into the house. On his way to the living room, he noticed a slip of paper lying on his overnight bag. He took it and gasped when he saw that it was a letter from Avi:

"Scott. I need to get out. I am so sorry for doing this to you, knowing that I will never be able to make it okay. You are wonderful and I will never forget you.
Avi."

With shaky legs, Scott went over to the staircase and sat down, reading the two lines over and over again, while he felt his heart racing and breathing quickening.

~~~~