The Assistant | Scavi

Panicking

Scott arrived at Avi's house twenty-five minutes later. He wasn't surprised that there was a foreign car parked in the driveway, it was probably Esther's or Darien's. The front door was wide open and Darien just stepped out of the house as Scott was quickly locking his bike.

"Darien, hi" the blonde greeted him. "How is he?"

Darien grimaced. "Not good. He's been in and out of panic attacks while we were in the car but I feel like it's only getting worse and Esther can't get through to him. I just left, because too many people would overwhelm him.

"Oh..." Scott said after he had listened closely to what Darien had told him. "Shall I... wait?"

"No, Scott, definitely not. I'm actually hoping that you can help him somehow, just go inside, they're in the living room..." Darien said and smiled at Scott.

Scott quietly walked into the house, right through to the living room where he found Esther sitting on the edge of the sofa and Avi, who was pacing through the room, talking:

"Esther, you need to call Fantasy immediately, Jonathan needs to know that we need to reschedule the tour. What do you think, how long will Kevin be off sick? How much time does it take for the ankle to heal? Do you think that we can do everything in three months? And what about the fans? Someone needs to let them know, maybe through social media?" He stopped there and looked at Esther. "Aren't you writing this down? Esther this is important!"

"Avi, we cannot reschedule the tour just because Kevin has broken his ankle. That's not possible. There will be someone else replacing him" Esther said with a calm voice.

"NO!" The fact that Avi almost screamed made Scott flinch. He also saw Esther flinching as well. "I... I cannot go through this alone, Esther. I need someone to trust, I need you, please don't make me do this." He fidgeted with his fingers, he definitely was nervous.

Esther sighed. "Look, I know that it's not easy for you, but you'll have to manage. Remember that Caleb and Noah are with you all the time, you can trust them" she tried again.

"It's not the same, I can't. I can't, I..." Avi, who had been pacing through the room before had suddenly stopped and was breathing heavily. "I can't..." he said over and over again, as his breathing got even quicker until he was on the verge of hyperventilating. "Please..." he whispered.

Esther had been too focused on Avi, so she only noticed Scott when he approached her struggling brother before she could even make a move, she was just too shocked to see her brother in this state, worse than he had ever been. Of course, he had had panic attacks before but she always had been able to calm him before it got worse.

"Avi it's okay, you're alright, please try to calm down," Scott said and took the shaking man's hands in his own.

"I'll get something for his hyperventilation, Scott, you have to give clear instructions. He needs to focus on something else than his panic or it gets even worse." Esther had ripped herself out of her stupor and hurried to the kitchen to get some kind of bag for her brother.

Scott got her words and tried a different approach. "Avi? Please focus only on my voice, okay? I am here with you, you are not alone. But I need you to focus on me. Here, look at our hands" he squeezed Avi's hands a little bit, hoping that the pressure would help Avi. He really didn't know what else to do, Avi was too lost in his panic. But he knew that he needed to keep talking, just in case, Avi was really trying to focus on his voice.

"I know that it is hard right now, but you need to focus, Avi. On my voice, on my hands, You can do it, Avi..." He continued talking like this, but he noticed that Avi was still shaking, still breathing rapidly. Scott felt like whatever he was doing wasn't enough and was just waiting for Esther to get back.

She was there only a moment later. "Okay, he will need to breathe into this bag, I hope that calming down his hyperventilation will help with the panic attack in general. Can you keep talking to him?"

Scott had actually stopped talking while Esther has been whispering to him and the soft whine that came from Avi showed him that his talking might actually be helping him. "Okay, Avi. More talking. Esther is here, too. She brought a little paper bag and I need you to breathe into it. Please don't be scared, she will hold it in front of your nose and mouth now."

The blonde was nervous as well because he didn't know how Avi would react to Esther touching him as well and then holding the bag over his mouth and nose.

But Avi didn't move, he flinched a little bit and whined softly when Esther held the bag firmly to his face, but he didn't struggle.

"See, Avi? It's not too bad. We're just doing this to help you. Just keep breathing, try to slow down a little bit, yes, just like that, you're doing so good. Keep breathing Avi..." He talked the brunette through the whole process of calming down and when his breathing had normalised and Esther had taken the bag away from him, Scott noticed that Avi was slightly squeezing his hands back. He smiled. "Hey, Avi, with me again?"

"Mmhm" Avi just hummed, unable to form words. He still was shaking and feeling out of it, but it was definitely better than before. His heart wasn't pounding so fast anymore and felt like he could breathe calmly without thinking that he wasn't getting enough oxygen.

"Good. Shall we sit down on the sofa?" Scott asked again, going for easy yes and no questions to not overwhelm Avi.

"Mmhm..."

"Come here..." Carefully, Scott led Avi over to the sofa and sat down with him. He only held on to one of his hands, but when Avi looked up at him and managed to press out "cuddle?", he pulled him into his arms.

"Of course," he said. "Do you want me to talk some more?"

"No... just hold and smell..." Avi said.

Scott didn't know what to make out of the last bit, but when Avi buried his nose into the nape of his neck and breathed deeply, he understood.

The blonde held him tightly while a few tremors still ran through his body. Once they were all gone, however, Scott realised that the bearded man was actually sleeping.

"The attack must have exhausted him."

Scott turned around to Esther who had sat down on the other end of the sofa. "Is it always that bad?" he asked with a soft voice to not wake up Avi.

Esther shook her head. "No, it has never been like this. Usually, we manage to get him to calm down quickly, but this time it wasn't possible."

"Is he that scared of going on tour without you or Kevin?" Scott wanted to know.

Esther nodded. "Yes. And until now it was just a given fact. I am his tour manager so I will be present. Kevin usually was there on and off, but he agreed to go full time immediately when I told him I couldn't make it. Avi was fine with it. But now... there's no one who could give him the comfort and trust he needs to be able to get through the tour, except for Kevin, me or you..."

Scott took a deep breath. "So this is what you wanted to talk to me about? You want me to go on tour with him?" He whispered the last bit because he didn't want Avi to know any of this unless it was a fixed thing.

Esther nodded. "I know, it's a lot to ask, especially since you're still studying and probably have better things to do. I'll try to find another solution, but..."

"Can we talk through everything one on one later? I am considering it, it's just a lot to schedule..." Scott finally said. He really wanted to join Avi on tour, not only because he didn't want his anxiety to peak while he was away from home with no support, but also because it meant spending more time with him. I would be a lot of stress for him, but Scott was determined to make it work.

For Avi.