Chapter Forty

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December (there was a chapter before that said things were set in November, I want to back up and say September so the next chapter would make more sense)

This chapter is long and all over the fucking place, I apologize 🤪

How do y'all like this quick update? Don't get used to it 🥴🥴💅

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It's been almost a month since Hanbin left and it's safe to say that that month wasn't the easiest for Jungkook.

He had driven to Busan about a week after Dr. Young sent information to the behavioural centre. While driving, he had argued back and forth with himself whether or not he should visit his family. He hasn't been to Busan in seven years as he never had a reason to return, so he surprised himself by thinking about his family. But as he neared rhe behavioural centre where Hanbin would be temporarily living, Jungkook had decided against it. He was already sending his son away, he didn't want to have a bad reunion with his family afterwards.

Jungkook had purposely taken his time while driving, wanting to spend as much time as he could with Hanbin. Hanbin of course, stayed silent but Jungkook didn't miss the expression on his son's face; Hanbin usually wore a neutral or blank expression, but this time he had a different look and even if Jungkook couldn't tell what his son was thinking or feeling, he knew the look wasn't good.

"Hanbin, I love you," Jungkook had said, this would make his nth time saying those words and each time he said it, he wouldn't get a response. Hanbin wouldn't even look at him.

When Jungkook told Hanbin about his plans, he wanted Hanbin to scream at him, pitch a fit, or do something. But he was met with nothing. Hanbin has only stood there, staring at the ground between his feet and only when Jungkook reached out to ever so gently touch his baby's face did Hanbin move. It was a quick block, Hanbin had raised his arm so Jungkook's hand collided with it instead of touching his face.

Despite having not said a word, Jungkook felt as though his decision was tearing them apart more than what they already were. And so, throughout the entire car ride, Jungkook kept repeating 'I love you' while trying to hold back his own tears. He just wanted to hear Hanbin say it back; Hanbin didn't have to mean it, he just needed to hear those words. But he never got them and each time he said it, his heart hurt more.

When they arrived at the centre, Hanbin was asleep. The centre was built like a modern building and as Jungkook scanned the building, he didn't see any bars on the windows. That made him feel a little better about his decision, but then again, Jungkook was imagining a mental asylum despite knowing there are no mental asylums anymore. He didn't want to wake Hanbin, but instead, he wanted to carry him knowing that this would be the one time in so long that he was able to hold his eldest son close to him and not worry about getting his eyes clawed out. But he knew Hanbin was uncomfortable with being touched and he didn't want to hold the boy knowing it would make him uncomfortable so instead, he woke Hanbin up by calling his name.

Jungkook had to sit in the visiting area for well over 20 minutes signing papers and talking about Hanbin's condition. He was worried about telling the doctors who were with him about what happened for Hanbin to be like this, but he knew everything that was said was confidential and the doctors would be in big trouble if they uttered a word about it. And so he explained everything from when Jungkook and Minsun were together to when Minsun came back so many months ago.

While Jungkook talked to the two doctors, Hanbin was in another room being evaluated. They, of course, weren't able to get much out of him, even after warning him that if he didn't say or do anything then he'd have to stay in the institution far longer than he and Jungkook would want. Hanbin stayed silent and stiff throughout the entire evaluation until Jungkook finished filling out the paperwork and giving the doctors a backstory.

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