Streets and Sheets 5

29. Again

Sloane's POV

E and I were doing alright until this morning. Her sister came to stir things up once again.

"Emerald come on" I yelled passed Erin.

"Do you ever think about why she doesn't want to be with you right now? Or why she so afraid to have this third baby?" I hadn't seen Erin in a while and I wish the circumstances were different. I loved that E was keeping the baby but hated that she resented me for it. She would always say that it's not all my fault a d that she should have been smarter. Those words hurt more that being shot.

"All the nights she sat in that house with two babies and one on the way scared out of her mind?" She asked me while blocking me from entering my own home.

"No, you don't and I can see that you never do but I'll tell you this. She can't up and leave those boys the way you do when you get angry or horny. She has to be a parent to those sweet, smart little men no matter what. I don't know what it is. Maybe her body has changed and it's not the same for you anymore..."

"That's not your concern and the furthest from the truth. I love her." I cut her off. She was getting ahead of herself and I needed to stay calm.

"Well you have lost her. Physically and mentally. It will click whenever Those kids start calling someone daddy."

"I'm not sheen if you know how far I'm going to go so that doesn't happen." I stopped once I got a glimpse of E walking to the front door. She was glowing. I was able to see her bump as she still used my old jersey as her favorite price of lounge wear.

"When you rip a women up the way you ripped Emerald... she will never love you the same way."

"I have been sleeping in this house with her since we have been back together and now you want her to change that?" I asked making sure I had everything together.

"So what? Everything is all good? Nah brother in law, no one believes that you would change this time we are all just waiting for your ass to slip." It was clear that no one had faith in me.

"What is going on? You know what, I got it." She said grabbing the door from Erin who smacked her realty and walked off.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Go home its fine." She said to her sister who asked her once more.

"How do you expect me to be here if you don't want me here." She laughed.

"Sloane we have the same conversation every day."

"Then what's stopping us from making progress? I'm still the man you married I have just made some really damaging choices." I admitted

"The man I married wouldn't have given me an opportunity to. He would have admitted that he was afraid... I don't want to talk about it. If we are going to move on lets do that. Stop apologizing for shit won't forgive you for."

"I am. I'm afraid because I know that this is my fault. What am I supposed to do if I lose my family? Baby we were doing so good and this baby can only add too it. Tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to leave?" I stopped talking as I noticed she may not be listening.

"I want you to get your shit together. I need you to communicate because I don't have it in me to go through this again. I should have to tell you to come home to your wife when you are angry or upset." We asked in to the house together.

"Have I lost you? Is what she saying true?" I grabbed her.

"You make me hate you sometimes. I mean fare you to the point that I wish I had never met you." She touched my face. She stated deeply into my eyes with out speaking for a little.

"But I love you and you love your kids and that may be the only reason I hold on to you. You have proven that sex can be found any where and it's nothing special."

"This morning wasn't special?" I asked her.

"It wasn't and it hasn't been. Fucking you is satisfying but it doesn't mean what it use to. I just need you to be a father, try being a husband and maybe we can get back to who we used to be." She said walking up the stairs to check in Nasir and Khalil.

"E! Maybe?" I followed her up the stairs.

"Sloane I don't want you to think this is easy for me. It's not easy to have walls up especially when you were the one who taught me what it was like to live without them. No women with three kids wants to start over especially when there is love in front of her. But a week of good behavior isn't going to transform us to the couple we were."

"Marry me." She stopped in her tracks a gain.

"Marry you?" She asked still with her back to me.

"Marry me again. We can start over, renew our vows and recenter our relationship E. Marry me again."