Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

It's Just Me and the Dark, Alone Here With My Heart

New chapter as promised.......not as action packed as the last chapter, but I hope you still like it.

More soon, I promise!!

Thanks guys, I love you all! <3 Vote and comment! :D

Tyler's P.O.V:

I watched the unfamiliar terrain pass by out the window. I had been in this cab for what felt like hours, silence thick around me. It finally halted to a stop at the address I had provided; I tossed the man some cash as he eyed me with concern. He had been doing that the entire ride from the airport; even strangers could tell that something was wrong. I looked like a wreck, my eyes swollen and empty, my face pale, my body fragile. It was a dead giveaway that something was wrong, but no one knew. Nobody knew what had happened to me, what I had been through.

I was a mess on the outside, and on the inside – I was a fucking disaster.

I lugged my suitcase, the small bag that held the only things I had taken the time to pack, and shuffled towards the back of the gated venue. A security guard awaited me, and I flashed him my pass, the one that Austin had mailed to me when the tour began, giving me access to all of the shows. After motioning me through I set my sights on the tour bus, picking it out easily among the others. It was eerily quiet, and I didn’t care for it, I didn’t like silence anymore. When there was nothing to fill the air I was left only with my thoughts, the memories of that day replaying in my mind like a horror film.

They were still fresh in my mind, every little piece, every detail. They wouldn’t go away, I had tried, believe me, but they wouldn’t budge. When I slept, I dreamt about it, I could still feel his hands on my skin, his breath on my neck. And when I was awake, it was all I thought about. There was no escape from it. It was my own personal hell.

After it happened I didn’t know what to do. I hated myself, I still hate myself. I locked myself in my room for three days, telling everyone I was sick.

Even Austin. I couldn’t tell him, I couldn’t tell anyone. I was too ashamed.

So anytime he would call I would keep it brief, telling him I didn’t feel good, that I was just tired. After that third day, though, something snapped, the depression transformed to panic. I realized I couldn’t be there anymore, not in that class, not in that school, not in New York. I needed out of there right away, so that’s exactly what I did. I fed the Dean some bullshit story about a family emergency, something that needed my immediate attention, and after some convincing she obliged and pulled me from my classes. I told Millie the same thing, told her my mom needed someone to take care of her. It didn’t take much convincing on her end. And after calling Sue and quitting my job I packed one suitcase, grabbing only the things I really needed, and arranged for the rest of my things to be shipped back home.

I felt bad lying to everyone, I really did, but they couldn’t know. Lying was my only option.

I didn’t really have a plan, I didn’t know what to do. So here I am, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, knocking on the bus door, waiting for Austin to answer. This probably wasn’t smart, he didn’t know I was coming, but I didn’t know what else to do, where else to go.

The door swung open, and I looked up, meeting the gaze of whoever had answered. “Tyler!” Aaron said enthusiastically. He bounded down the stairs, and I noticeably flinched as he pulled me in for a hug. I didn’t like it, I couldn’t take it, someone touching me; I pulled away quickly, getting a questioning glare from Aaron, but I shrugged it off.

“Tyler’s here?” Austin’s voice rang from deep inside the bus as someone informed him of my unscheduled arrival. The bus shook gently as he walked towards the door, his face lighting up as he saw me. He jumped from the bus to the ground, a huge grin on his lips. “Ty? Baby, what’re you doing here?” His words rolled off his tongue excitedly as he reached me, pulling me into a tight hug. I was still uncomfortable, I didn’t like it, but the familiarity of his arms around me, the scent of his cologne, it was calming, and I hugged him back, practically clinging to him for dear life. He could feel how tense I was, how strange I was acting. “Baby, are you okay?” He questioned softly in my ear. I couldn’t respond, no words would come out. He backed away, looking deep into my eyes, and he could tell, he knew me well enough, he knew I wasn’t okay. “Come here,” he said, grabbing my hand, his other reaching for my suitcase, leading me onto the bus and towards the back lounge, shutting us in, giving us privacy. “Tyler, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.” His voice was tense, his face held concern.