the boy looked at me on last time before closing he the trunk door, harshly. causing me to flinch and close my eyes hard.
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i sat up from my soft comfy bed, i looked at my hands and saw that there was no zip tie, i moved my hands to my feet and felt no zip tie.
i felt myself hyperventilating, i hugged my legs and brought them close to my chest. i buried my head into my knees, i was sobbing.
fear and anxiety was taking over my body, my hearing was cloudy, i heard nothing. i rocked my body back and forth to calm myself down.
i felt two hands from different directions reaching my shoulders, i winced at their touch and immediately jerked up, and moved myself away from the hands.
"diana? are you okay?" mattia said, but it sounded like he was underwater. "diana! what happened?" kat said. again sounding like they were underwater.
i had no idea what was happening. i looked at both of them with tears in my eyes. i opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.
it's like i had my voice stolen. i shook my head, and mattia came close to me. i moved away, although all the pain and fear that i was feeling right now was in my mind and body, i just wanted to be alone.
i didn't want anyone to touch me, i was afraid that they might do something, even though i trusted mattia and kat. i couldn't help but feel betrayed by mattia.
i knew once i woke up that it was a nightmare, but it felt so real. i really thought mattia was going to save me but my mind played tricks on me.
it made me see the terrible boy who was trying to take advantage of me. kat reaches out to hug me and i moved away from her.
i put my head back into my knees and cried my eyes out, i didn't care if they heard me anymore. i was weak and scared. i trembled as the dream replayed in my head.
"it was just a nightmare diana, you're okay you're safe now." mattia cooed me. i can hear him clearly now, his voice and his words gave me slight comfort.
but i couldn't help but think, why did i dream about that, it happened more than 3 weeks ago. i haven't had nightmares like that since the week of the problem.
my breathing become faster and uncontrollable, my hands were shaking. so many thoughts were going in my head, my heart was going to rip through my chest.
mattia sat at the foot of my bed, close to were my toes were. he reached out to grab one of my hands that were hugging my legs. my finger tips were white from all the pressure that i was putting on them.
this time i didn't flinch, i didn't move away. he touched my hand gently, to wait if i would react the way i reacted before.
when i didn't react that way, he gently held my hand into his. his warm hand heated up my cold hand. i felt comfort in this, "it's okay, its over." mattia said, lightly.
he made circles with his thumb on my hand, i began to calm down a bit. this wasn't the first time mattia has seen me like this, I'm glad he was here to help me.
my breathing started to slow down, and it was beginning to be steady. my heart slowed down and started pumping at a normal rate.
i stopped hyperventilating, and i took deep breaths. i pulled my head up to look at kat, anthony and mattia. anthony looked worried, kat sighed with relief and she knew that i was okay now.
i looked at mattia with his soft brown eyes, "I'm okay." i said. mattia looked down, and sighed. it sounded like he was holding his breath for a while.
"are you sure you're okay?" anthony asked me, i looked at him and gave him a weak smile. "yes I'm okay." i replied.
"I'm going to get you some water." anthony said, he got up from my couch and headed downstairs. i looked over at kat who had concern written all over her face.
"what happened diana?" kat asked me. she knew what happened to me that night, but she was talking about the dream.
"i had a nightmare, about that night that happened 3 weeks ago." i said. i felt mattias hand tense up on mine. "what?" kat said.
she sounded more worried than she was before. "what do you mean, was it exactly like that night?" she asked. i shook my head.
"i saw you there." i said looking at mattia, his eyebrows knitted together, he was confused. "what was i doing?" he asked.
"you tricked me." i said, letting go of his hand, gently. i know it was a dream but still, it was the most vivid dream i had in so long.
"what? how?" he said, clearly frustrated at himself. "can we not talk about this, i don't want to end up have another anxiety attack." i said.
mattia looked upset, but he followed my wishes and went back to the couch. a couple minutes later anthony walks through the door with water.
"thank you." i said. he hands me the cup and i drink a little bit, and place the rest on my night stand. i laid back down on my pillows.
and kat was still sitting up, kat was not one to overthink and have major anxiety like i do. but she looked like she was zoned out, or lost in thought.
"kat?" i said. but she didn't answer, "kat?" i said again a little more clearly. she looked at me and laid back down. "are you okay?" i asked her.
"yeah I'm just worried about you." she replied. "it's okay I'm fine now." i said. she nodded her head and changed the movie that we were watching previously, to a good show.
i sighed as i was still having many thoughts go through my head.
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AUTHORS NOTES
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