Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

This Moment Now

We went on like that for the next hour, taking turns opening each gift one by one. So far Austin had liked everything that I had picked out: a fancy lightsaber, the entire Star Wars box set on Blu Ray, and a few other little odds and ends that had caught my eye.

I was more than thrilled with what Austin had bought for me. Besides the purse, he had given me a pair of Louboutin heels, a brand new keyboard that didn’t sound like dying cats, and a gorgeous diamond key necklace from Tiffany’s. “This is too much,” I exclaimed after opening the teal Tiffany’s box. I looked up at him, my eyes practically filled with tears of joy.

“Impossible,” he said, crawling over closer towards me. “There is no such thing as too much when it comes to you, babe.” I leaned in, connecting my lips with his.

“Thank you,” I whispered, pulling away enough so our eyes could meet.

“You are more than welcome,” he responded, pecking my lips once again. He motioned for me to turn around, and I did as he said. He took the necklace and looped it around my neck, clasping it in the back. I looked down at it in awe, the diamonds sparkling in the overhead light.

“It’s beautiful, Austin,” I said, a permanent smile plastered on my lips.

“You’re beautiful.” His response made my heart skip a beat, the tears threatening to reappear.   My cheeks blushed and Austin laughed, reaching up and stroking the pink flesh with his soft hand. “This was the best Christmas ever.” His words brought me down from cloud nine and I jumped up quickly, watching as he looked at me with confusion.

“Wait! It’s not over yet!” I sprinted upstairs, grabbing his final gift, the one that I had just picked up this morning, the one that I didn’t want him to even see underneath the tree. I lugged the long box down the stairs, careful not to fall and break it or myself.

“What the hell is that?” Austin asked, picking himself up from the floor and shuffling over towards where I was struggling with the box. I set it down, my hand still hanging onto it and keeping it from falling over.

“It’s your last present! I didn’t want to put it under the tree because I didn’t want you to know about it,” I responded matter of factly.

“Babe, I’m pretty sure you got me enough.”

“Well, now you have one more. Now quit bitching and open it.” I laughed, and he smiled. He carried the box over the couch and I followed him, taking a seat next to him as pulled slowly at the paper. This was the one I was most nervous about; I didn’t know if he would like it, if it was the right kind, I didn’t know anything. I was taking a risk with this gift; I just prayed it would work out all right. He looked up at me as the paper fell away, leaving only the bare cardboard box to conceal the gift. I gave him a look, urging him to continue; I wanted to get it over with already, I wanted to find out whether I had done a good job or a bad job at gift shopping.

Finally, he pried the box open, and I held my breath, waiting for his reaction. His mouth dropped open, whether that was a positive thing I wasn’t yet sure; his eyes almost bugged out of his head as he stared into the box. It took him a moment before he returned his gaze to me, his faced etched with disbelief. “Tyler.” My name fell from his lips so softly it was almost too quiet to be heard. “What – I mean – how –“ He stumbled over his words; I took that as a good thing.

“Do you like it?” I questioned, almost cringing as I spoke.

“Are you kidding me? Tyler – you bought me a guitar?” It was as if he didn’t think it was real; I wasn’t expecting this great of a reaction, not at all.

“I just – I didn’t know what to get you, and I saw you playing the guitar the other day so I thought ‘why the hell not’? I wasn’t sure which kind to buy or what color or any of that, and I roped Alan into helping me so if you hate it blame him and –“ Austin’s lips collided with mine with such force I was taken aback; his lips stopped my rambling, his hand grabbed the back of my head, not allowing me to come up for air; not that I wanted to. After a few minutes he pulled away, leaving my body shivering from the absence of his touch; I was totally, utterly breathless. I opened my eyes as I worked to catch my breath; I watched as Austin pulled the guitar out of the box, running his fingers over the shiny, silver-chrome body.

“Ty, this is a Les Paul,” he stated, not looking away from it.

“I know, Austin, I bought it remember,” I responded as I chuckled.

“This had to have cost a fortune, Tyler. You didn’t have to do this.” He finally looked over at me, not loosening his grip on the guitar at all. It had cost me quite a bit of money, almost $2000 to be exact, but he didn’t need to know that. It didn’t matter; it was worth it.

“It doesn’t matter how much it cost. I wanted to get you something special, something that you would love. You love it, right?” I questioned once more.

“Ty, this is the best gift anyone has ever given me – I – I don’t even know what to say right now.”

“Well, then I did good!” I exclaimed, clapping my hands as I congratulated myself.

“Thank you,” he whispered, leaning over to kiss me once more, this time without quite as much force.

“You’re welcome, baby.” I kissed him back, then sat and watched him tune his new guitar for a while. Eventually I got up and began cleaning up, picking up the wrapping paper that now decorated the living room floor; Austin started playing the guitar, the sweet music filling the room as I worked to make the room presentable once again. “Thank you for making this the perfect Christmas,” I said with a smile as I walked back over to Austin. He stopped playing and set the guitar down, leaning it gently against the end table.

“Hold on. I have another one for you, as well, missy,” he said.

“What?” I questioned. “I wanted to give the last gift!” I pouted. He gave a small laugh as he stood from the couch, and placed himself right in front of me.

“Well, too damn bad.” He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small, black box. “Here. Last one.” I grabbed the box in my hands, wondering what in the hell he could’ve got me now.

“Hmmm, I bet it’s earrings to match my new necklace. Or it’s-“ I paused as I opened the hinged, velvet box, my heart practically stopping at what I saw. “A ring…” I mumbled, hardly able to formulate any words. I pried my eyes away from the sparkling diamond to look to Austin, but he was no longer standing in front of me; instead I found his eyes further down, and it was then I noticed he had moved onto bended knee. Tears brimmed my eyes immediately when I realized what was happening; I couldn’t control them, I didn’t want to. Austin reached up and grabbed my hand; I was frozen as I stood there, crying and holding the box.

“Tyler, I – I didn’t quite know how I wanted to do this. I hadn’t planned on doing this now, but after today – I didn’t want to wait any longer; I couldn’t. Tyler, I love you so much. I never in a million years thought I could feel this way about someone. Being with you makes me feel whole; I feel like I’m the person I’m supposed to be when you are around. I know I’m not perfect, very far from it, in fact. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, the biggest being that I let you go, I let you get away because I was stubborn and ignorant and an idiot. I never want to have to live without you again. There is no one else who makes me feel the way that you do. I don’t deserve to be asking you this right now. Frankly, I don’t deserve for you to even be here with me right now, but somehow you are, and-“

“Yes,” I said as my mind finally caught up, my mouth finally able to muster a word.

“What?” He questioned, a single tear falling down his cheek as he gazed up at me through those big, brown eyes.

“Yes, Austin. Yes. I- I will marry you,” I muttered out, stumbling over each word as the tears refused to halt. He took the box from my hand, pulling the rather large ring from its holding case, and slipped it onto my finger; a perfect fit. He got up from his knee, his frame towering over me once again. I gazed at the ring, my eyes almost unable to look away from its beauty. I wrapped my arms around Austin’s neck and he picked me up as our lips met once again, this time unlike any other. The sparks, the fireworks, were all ten times brighter, my heart beating faster than ever before. He spun me around in a circle and I let out a small laugh through the tears. “I love you so much,” I croaked out. He set me down and we wiped at each other’s tears, tears that were from pure joy and love.

“I love you more,” he responded.

I couldn’t believe it; it almost didn’t seem real. Austin had asked me to marry him. I said yes. We were going to get married. I was going to be Mrs. Carlile one day.

Merry Christmas to me.