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Imaginary 3

There was always the lingering fear of not being able to say goodbye to Enji if he were ever to disappear. That fear only grew when Hawks was still around by the time the kid had entered High school. 

The longer this went on, the more he feared that it would hurt Enji, but a part of him was still happy that he was still unbothered by Hawks's presence, and even talked about him to his best friend Toshi. Although he himself couldn't speak to the other boy, he was always there whenever he came by, and was positive they would get along if Hawks was still alive. 

Whenever he remembered that he was actually dead, there's always a painful feeling in him. A lot of it was still fuzzy, but he remembered laying there in the hospital bed, machines hooked into him to keep him alive, to help him breathe. He didn't remember his friends. At least, he couldn't remember their names. Was that the effect of being a ghost? Losing your memories?

Hawks once again didn't follow Enji to school. He didn't want to be a bother, and it was a way of separating himself. Enji also didn't know yet. That Hawks was dead. He didn't know how to tell him but he knew he had to tell him soon. In fact, he definitely saw it as weird that Enji didn't question anything unless he was simply deciding to ignore it. 

He looked around the room. There was a definite change in how it used to look before when Hawks had first met the red headed boy. All those messy little drawings were cleared from the floor, cleared from the walls, and tucked away in the darkest part of a little box. The little bed that sat besides the corner of the room was now bigger, and more plain looking compared to the bright colors it had used to be. Toys were replaced with anything that had to do with sports. There was a basketball on one side of the room, a baseball on the night stand beside his bed, and an old soccer ball that looked a bit too flat to even be playable anymore. He was older now, maybe he could handle the truth. 

It was decided right then and there that Hawks would tell him as soon as he got home. It was the right thing to do after all. 

Hours passed by before he could hear the familiar pair of steps coming closer to the room, and already he was nervous. The door swung open, and Enji walked in, dropping his bag down by the door like he always had done even when he was younger. it was just a habit he supposed. 

"Hey Hawks. Hope you weren't too bored without me." He had greeted, walking over to his bed and sitting down. 

"Welcome back Enji," Hawks started off, slightly gulping, "How was school?"

Hawks could see Enji contemplating over something before he had spoke, "It was good. There's this new girl that joined our class today. Her names Rei. Apparently she just moved to town a few days ago."

A girl? Enji had never talked about girls before with him, at least, not in the way he did now. 

"Ooh, is she pretty?" Hawks asked curiously, moving himself to be besides Enji as he was still sitting on the floor. 

"Yeah, actually, she is," Enji hummed, laying back on the bed as his feet dangled off the side of it. "She's in three of my classes and she's the prettiest one in all three of them."

For some reason, a part of Hawks felt sad, when overall he was pretty happy for Enji to find interest in another person. "Sounds like you have a crush on her already."

Enji shot up from his laying position and looked at Hawks with a glare. "N-no I don't! She's just interesting okay? Every new kid that comes by is."

Hawks quickly held his hands up in defense, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry I said that."

Things quickly got quiet after that, and Enji had gotten up at least once to get his bag so he could do his homework. Hawks thought over his choices again, now worried over how Enji might take the news. He shouldn't be too upset, right? It's not like he lied about who he was. Plus, Enji never asked, so he shouldn't be mad. 

"Hey Enji?"

"Yeah?"

"I...I got something to tell you." Hawks admitted, avoiding looking over at Enji's curious gaze. 

"What is it?" Enji asked, a little worried at what the other might say. 

Hawks sighed lightly as his head drooped towards the floor. "Do you know what I am?"

A small bit of air escaped past Enji's lips, almost like a little laugh. "What do you mean by that?" He asked, shifting his papers aside so he could move on the bed to be closer to Hawks. 

"I..I mean like...Do you know what I am? What I'm made of? How I was made?" He didn't know any easier way to explain something like this. It probably would have been easier to tell this to Enji if he was a little kid again. 

Enji raised a brow as he tried to make sense of Hawks's words. "Well, I don't know. Why is this suddenly coming up now?"

"L-listen Enji. I used to be like you. A little kid running around, a teenager going to school. I had toys, I had friends." He decided to just get it over with, hoping that Enji wouldn't mind him just saying it outright. "I was living, and breathing, and sick. I was...very, very sick."

Enji remained silent as Hawks spoke, and for a second hawks considered telling him that he was actually joking, just so he would say something. "And one day...I just wasn't sick anymore, but..I also wasn't living anymore. I woke up, in a little kid's bedroom. It was your room Enji. I'm..I'm not alive, okay? I'm not fake, but in a way I'm not real either. I'm just...here."

More silence followed and hawks brought his knees to his chest, hiding his face in them. "What was your actual name?" Enji then asked. It was in a quiet, but stern tone. 

"Keigo" Hawks answered. "Keigo Takami."

A small sigh escaped past Enji's lips as he rubbed his head a bit, suddenly he had a headache. "Again, why are you telling me this now."

"Because I might not be here forever."

"Excuse me?" Enji then asked, his brows furrowing. "Why wouldn't you? Is there something I did that you might want to leave?"

"N-no, no, not at all! It's just...I don't know how long I'll be around. Who knows, any day I can just disappear without a warning." Hawks explained, blowing a bit of hair out of his face.

"Is that about like, that moving on shit? Don't you have a choice with that? Is that why you never want to come to school with me? Because you're trying to disappear on me?" Enji was clearly upset now at this news. Hawks bit his lip lightly, he felt like he was going to cry, but the tears just seemed impossible. It sucked. 

"E-Enji, I just...It's not like I want to leave you...It's just, I would prefer if you didn't just rely on me. That's why I was really happy when you first met Toshi.  You had someone else to grow up with instead of just being stuck with me. Now there's that Rei girl...I just want you to be able to have a life without me. Is that so wrong?" Hawks hesitated before he turned his head to look up at Enji. His heart only broke when he did.

Tears streamed down the other's face, the silence behind it was only a mask for the torture it brought to Hawks. Enji was mad. His face said it clearly, but he didn't want to make a sound with his tears, that, he couldn't allow.

"I...I'm sorry Enji..." Hawks then muttered, getting up from his spot on the floor top tightly hug Enji, the only person he doesn't phase through. "I'll stay as long as you want me to..Please don't cry..I'm sorry.."

"Just..Shut up and just stay with me like this for a while.." Enji muttered under his breath as he buried his face in Hawk's neck. "At least do that for me.."

Hawks couldn't find himself to say anything, so all he did was nod his head and hug him tighter. 

Nothing was ever easy, was it?

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This chapter was actually supposed to come out last night but my baby brother decided to do a backwards head dive to the floor from his slide, which prompted a trip to the hospital ^-^'
Besides that..I'm gonna be finishing up Imaginary and Midnight Bite before I move onto any new chapters! So these two Aus will be more frequent.
Also! A Discord is now in the works! So yay!