Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

Feeling a Moment

I finished off my coffee, setting the mug in the sink before walking back towards my room. I quietly opened the door and crawled back into the warmth of my bed. Austin turned over, a faint smile present on his features. He grabbed me and pulled me towards him, the warmth of his chest on mine heating my body to the core. I buried my face in his neck, his fingers rubbing slow circles across my back as I breathed in the scent of him. “You okay?” he questioned, planting a small, lingering kiss on my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed him tightly, my hands resting on his back as I moved myself even closer into his embrace.

“Actually, I’m perfect. Just not quite ready to get out of bed yet,” I responded. I could feel him smile as his cheek rested atop my head.

“Good. Me neither.” I brushed my lips lightly across his neck, my eyes falling closed as we held each other, both of us falling asleep in each other's arms, right where we belonged.

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“Are you seriously not going to tell me where we are going?” I cried out as Austin led me out of the apartment by my hand. He shook his head dramatically, an evil smirk present on his lips. He pulled me close to him, his arms wrapping around me as we stepped out into the winter evening, the wind whipping at our faces, the falling snow landing softly upon us. “Austin!” I whined once more; he didn’t budge, didn’t say a word, that goofy smirk still plastered on his face. We approached the awaiting cab, Austin opening the door for me and motioning me in before sliding in next to me. He leaned forward, whispering our destination to the driver quiet enough so I couldn’t hear a thing. As he slouched back in his seat I pouted out my bottom lip, crossing my arms in front of my body while shooting him an unhappy glare. He scoffed at me, a small laugh escaping his throat as he turned to look at me.

“Aw, baby. I know you don’t like surprises, but trust me on this one, alright?” I kept a straight face, hardly acknowledging the fact that he had even said a word. From my periphery I could see him roll his eyes before leaning down toward me. He grabbed my face, planting sloppy kiss after sloppy kiss all over my cheek. I couldn’t help but laugh, shoving him away as I wiped at my cheek. He smiled down at me, one of his big, cheeky grins that could make anyone melt, and I practically forgot why I was upset in the first place. I grabbed his hand, interlacing our fingers, and rested my head on his shoulder, his head dropping down to rest on top of mine. We watched out the window as the bustling city flew past us, the lights meshing together as one big blur, the faces of strangers on the street obscured.

The taxi cab came to stop, and I found myself speechless as I gawked at the scenery around us. Austin paid the cab driver and helped me out of the cab after him, leading me towards the line of people that had formed on the sidewalk. I looked up at him, practically awestruck, tears threatening to fall from my eyes due to pure excitement. “You’re taking me to a Broadway show?” I croaked out in disbelief. He nodded his head, squeezing my hand a little tighter.

“I told you to trust me, didn’t I?” He responded with a small laugh. I stood up my toes, pressing my cold lips against his.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his as I spoke.

“Anything for my baby,” he responded, making my heart pick up its pace inside my chest. The line began to move, and we walked up to the ticket window, our arms wrapped around each other for warmth as the snow began to fall a little faster. “Carlile,” Austin told the woman at the ticket window with a smile. He slid his credit card through the window towards her, and she ran it through the computer passing back his receipt. He signed it quickly, the woman passing back his card and two tickets. We walked into the enormous theater, and I gazed in amazement as we made our way towards our auditorium. “This is it,” Austin said as we suddenly came to a stop. I gazed up at the marquee above the door, smiling as I read the title of the show. ‘Elf: The Musical.’ I practically squealed with excitement as Austin smiled down at me. We handed the usher our tickets and he showed us to our seats which were only a few rows from the front.

“This is one of my favorite Christmas movies,” I said to Austin with a small giggle.

“I know. I may have done a little recon with your brother to figure out what you would like,” he admitted, his eyes seeming to glisten as he spoke to me. I grabbed the back of his head, pulling him in for a kiss.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” I questioned as I ran my fingers through his soft, brown hair.

“You are amazing, incredible, beautiful, kind, funny…I think I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.” I leaned in and kissed him once more as the lights dimmed around us. I sat back in my seat, our hands still intertwined as the curtain pulled back and the sounds of Christmas music filled the air.

&&

“Thank you so much for this, Austin. I loved the show so much, it was incredible,” I stated with enthusiasm as we pushed our way out of the theater and back into the winter evening. The streets were blanked with freshly fallen snow, white flakes continuing to drift down from above. Austin wrapped his arm around my shoulders, his hand rubbing up and down my arm working to warm me up through my coat.

“You are more than welcome, Ty. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He leaned over and kissed my temple, his lips alone making my body feel as if I was on fire. I began to flag down a cab, but Austin stopped me, gently pulling me back from the curb. I looked at him in confusion and he grinned at me.

“Not yet. I want to take you somewhere first,” he said, and I nodded my head slightly in agreement. We began to walk down the sidewalk farther into Times Square. Times Square itself was beautiful, but at night, with everything lit up brightly and decorated with snow, there was nothing like it. It was breathtaking, a site so miraculous it almost didn’t seem real.

The snow continued to fall in a steady rhythm as we walked, the temperature well below freezing, but I wasn’t cold, not at all; not while I was wrapped in Austin’s arms, my cheek pressed against his sweater-covered chest, his fingers running lightly over my sides. We walked in silence, both of us seeming too preoccupied with the beauty before us. There was no need for words; the silence was comfortable, fitting for the situation.  As we reached the middle of Times Square I could see hundreds of people gathered together, all staring up at one thing: The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. I gasped in amazement as we enclosed on the 80 foot tall tree covered from top to bottom in bright, twinkling lights. “It’s beautiful,” I breathed out, Austin squeezing me tighter in response. We paused near the tree, mixed with groups of other onlookers; Christmas music and excited chatter rang through the air. I resituated myself so I could better see the tree, resting my back against Austin’s chest as his arms circled around my body, our hands clasping together in front of me. I leaned my head back against him, his chin resting atop my head as we both gazed at the tree, Austin humming along to the music playing through the speakers.

“I can’t believe I have to leave tomorrow,” he murmured. I felt my heart drop just thinking about being away from him. “I don’t want to leave you.” He kissed the back of my head a few times, our bodies swaying in rhythm to ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas.’

“I don’t want you to go, either,” I replied, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” he whispered. I took a deep breath as my mind raced, lost in thought.

“You won’t have to miss me for very long,” I replied as an idea entered my mind.

“What are you talking about?” He mumbled out, his response quiet and unenthusiastic.

“I’m going to come home for Christmas break.” He turned me around without warning so I was facing him. He grabbed my face in his hands and looked down at me.

“What?” He questioned. A smile pulled at my lips.

“I have a week and a half of classes left, and then I’m going to come home. For a whole month. I don’t need to be here, I need to be home with you, with my brother and my friends. I can’t stand the thought of being away from you when I don’t have to be,” I replied, Austin’s eyes gleaming as he listened to my words intently.  

He pulled my lips to his with force, a tear of joy sliding down my flushed cheeks as we kissed. It was as if nothing else existed, as if no one was else was around; it was only us, we were the only two people in the entire world. “I love you so much,” he said as he pulled away, his eyes gazing into mine once again. I hugged him, burying my face into his chest, his sweet cologne flooding my senses.

“I love you, too, Austin. I don’t know what I would do without you.”