Seeking SOMNUS

46.

THEO.

I lie awake in my bedroom. My body was at ease, but my soul was on fire. What the hell just happened. She was soft and tender. She smelled like exotic flowers with the touch of strawberries and gooseberries. I wonder if any fragrance really have all those in one bottle. She smelled like comfort to me. We had so many moments when we discussed our screwed up mind problems, but this... This was different. I could sense that. Perhaps she too.

The long night usually went in deep thoughts of my life and it's troubles. But tonight I was not entirely thinking of Jackson or papers or something. I was continuously thinking about her. Probably my meds enhanced this feeling in me. But those just normal were the medicines for pancreas and intestines. Not some drug like marijuana that hit straight in the conscious brain. I was sobered enough to think about my heart.
It felt like it changed it's beats and throbbing in different pace now.

The Friday night was clear. Sky was not entirely covered with gray blanket of clouds. The stars were sparkling at their best and moon was brighter that night. Street lights were the only lights shining in that locality. The surrounding was drop dead silent. The night creatures screams at their time then go absolute quiet.

That night it was only me felt like breathing and being alive in the environment. Even the air felt dead too. It was not entirely pessimistic but the room started to suffocate in locked windows.

I walked up to the window and unlock them for ventilation and some fresh air. Then I stood silently for a while on the window, staring at night view of my town. The asleep city with quiescent in their hearts. Warm blood circulates rapidly all day long then got to the normal pace at night of rest and comfort. It almost sound like a luxury I was forbidden to.

A murky shadow flew at the very end of street. This time I was not dreaming or being paranoid, I thought to myself I definitely saw something. I bent forward, just to catch another glance to make sure there was something else awake with me. But there was nothing. It was just a wild vision disappeared with a blink of an eye. I shake my head to clear my mind. Was I going crazy? I definitely saw something. I couldn't tell a human or just a ghost. I was little scared by then.

I went back to bed, tuck myself solely with my quilt like a little baby. I was shivering mildly because it was turning out be a matter of concern if I just randomly visioning shadows. Probably it was just my mind playing tricks on me, or there indeed was someone looking at me in the middle of night. I had to clear my conscience or I will definitely go mad.

Now I was eagerly waiting for having the most honest and transparent conversation with my mother the next day.

I shut my and there she was. Beautiful and alluring as ever. Dancing around on her barefoot on the wet pointy overgrown grass of the lakeshore. Her radiating smile, I could witness that forever. Crazily running around as I was chasing her. She slipped away every time I try to get a hold on her. Clara was like an angel under the full moon night, resting my reckless nerves and sending chills all over my body. Her mesmerising glance stunned me at my feet. Then an abrupt thick foggy mist took over the environment. She was smiling widely but her iota was fading away, I was madly trying to move forward. Pulling myself with the force of every single nerve from my body just to catch her aura, but she continued to smile as a thick black smoke mixed with her sheer, white, pure and sacred one. I stumbled onto my knees as I presaged the same dark murky shadow swallowing her aura, as she was fading away tardily in the demonic atmosphere. After her slower and agonising evanescence the dark shadow took over my surroundings. And it rapidly float in the environment afterwards promptly dive at me to attack me with godspeed and I brusquely opened my eyes.

I was all coated with sweat yet I was feeling darn cold, my heart was beating out of my chest and I was shivering inside the blanket. I was panting horribly and my eyes were watery not because of tears but out of irritation. I quickly got out my bed and moved forward to seal the window but city had me shocked. The pinkish sun rays was splattered over the city with smooth and deliquescent snowfall too. The first snowfall of the year, the entire city was sighted ravishing with early sun rise of five in the morning. It was only pinkish sky and slivery ground. Sun has yet to rise but it's presence allured the sky. For a split second I forgot what just happened with me.