senior year p2 (sequel to the new girl)

9

nothing compares to the
emptiness we both share

Mattias POV

I looked around the room as the teacher kept talking about stuff that I didn't even care about. While zoning out I kept thinking about how life would be like right now if nothing bad ever happened between me and my friends.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked the teacher. I grabbed my bag and dipped.

I ran into a couple of people in the halls but it was no biggie. It was almost time to leave anyway so I waited by the main entrance for the final bell to ring.

"Hey what are you doing here?" A familiar voice asked from behind me. I looked up and saw Avery set her bag down and sit next to me.

"Waiting to leave, you?"

"Same, my class is boring." She laughed. Her hair went just past her shoulders. I wasn't so used to seeing her with short hair because when I met her it was long.

I guess she caught me staring at her because I noticed her starting to blush.

"Sorry."

"No it's fine." Her smile soon went away and she started to feel nervous. Her breathing was louder and I could tell her palms were sweating because she kept wiping them on her jeans.

"You good?" I asked. She slowly rocked her body back and forth before speaking up.

"Can I tell you something?" Her eyes remained glued to the floor and I took her hands in mine.

"Are you okay? You can tell me anything." Just as I finished saying that, the bell rang and she quickly got up and walked out. It took me a while to catch up to her because she was walking so fast.

"Avery wait!" I pushed past a couple of people but finally made it to where she was standing. She still looked a little anxious. What does she have to tell me?

"Lets go to my house." She said. I nodded and walked to my car then followed hers.

I kept getting cut off  by other people and I lost her car.

"Fuck." I hit the wheel and looked around to see if I could find her.

phone call

m: just send me your address cause i keep getting cut off

a: yeah i should've done that first sorry

m: it's fine

I waited for her to send it then started driving. It took me to a neighborhood I was familiar with but never went into because it was gated.

"Wow" I pulled up to a huge house that looked like it had a hundred rooms. I got out of my car still looking at the house. She walked to the backyard and I ran up to her.

She keeps getting away.

"I like coming here when I have too much on my mind. It's kinda like my safe place.." She took a seat on a hammock by a lake. I sat down next to her and waited for what she had to tell me.

"I am trying to forget everything that happened over these past few months. It was all too much, you know. I forgave you and I should be able to forgive everyone else but it's not the same. They didn't know me at all."

I nodded my head listening to everything she had to say. I'm really happy she asked me to come over. It almost feels like old times, our good times.

"Yeah I get it Avery, and I'm still extremely sorry for every little thing I've ever done to you. Even putting you through my breakdown the other day."

"After everything, I went to LA with Taylor for two weeks to go sightseeing and for work of course. But when I came home it was all too much. It's like I was back in reality and I had so much alone time that it just ate me up, it literally consumed me. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened. I thought about it everyday. It all just...hit me again." Her voice started cracking and she couldn't make eye contact. I tried grabbing her hand again but she just pushed mine away.

"I hate seeing you like this Avery. You didn't deserve anything that happened to you and I wish I could go back in time and make sure none of it didn't happen."

"But it did....I started drinking. It seemed like the only thing to me that could numb me and could make me forget everything that happened. I barely ate for those final two weeks I was home. I barely slept and I didn't see any of my friends."

I was shocked to hear this. I mean I know she cut out people from her life for a while but I didn't know what she was doing behind closed doors. It kills me to know she went through so much and I only made it worse. I couldn't help her.

"I hate myself everyday for it. I didn't do much but cry about it. Lately I have been feeling better but Ive been faking smiles and I hate it. It's not me." She continued.

"This kills me Avery." She looked up and a tear rolled down her cheek. I wiped it and looked into her eyes.

"When I was drunk all I could think about was you."

"I think about you all the time Avery. Sober or not, you're always on my mind."

She got up from the hammock and walked deeper into the trees. I followed her and stopped when she did. There was an old treehouse that was painted purple.

"I think it belonged to a little girl who lived here before us. I found it yesterday. There's a carving in there of names and pictures of people who look really happy."

I followed her up the latter and sat down on a pillow. There was a small knife in there and I picked it up.

"We can carve our names." I walked up to a blank wall and carved in mine and Averys name. She looked at it and smiled.

"It's getting late. I should go inside and I think you should leave." She said out of no where.

"Y-Yeah of course." I rushed out of there and waited for her to come behind me. We walked side by side back to the front yard.

"Thank you for listening to me. I really enjoyed talking to you, I always do." She smiled.

"I'll always be there for you." I took her in for a long, warm hug. She pulled back and we looked at each other. She looked at my lips then to my eyes and it kept going. I leaned in but she pulled back.

"You're such a tease." I chucked. She smirked and turned around.

"Bye Mattia."