SINCE DAY ONE ― luke hemmings ✓

24

"You sure you could handle all the work?" His question made me wonder but I answered nevertheless. It's Luke being Luke. He's always so—caring. One of the million reasons why I fell inlove.

"Of course. I've got all my trustee hard drives here, if you must know. And the hotel wifi is pretty great." He fumbled around his phone with a smile on his face.

"Yeah, it is. Calum couldn't stop playing some Nickelback. That's why I'm out here."

I chuckled, "Don't you guys love that band?"

"Yeah we do. But not on repeat."

"Hah, well. There's no stopping Cal at that point." He didn't answer and I continued my work, pretending there's no one beside me at all. Pretending I don't feel a pair of eyes looking right at me—or maybe that's just me assuming and all. But I tried my best. I really did. Even if I kept undoing the controls I've made from blundering around the buttons I swore I have already memorized since then.

I keep messing up so much from being too anxious I was about to quit—until another voice blared nearby, "Hello my two other favorite people in the world! We've come bearing gifts." I raised my head and saw Ashton and Mikey carrying take outs that surely made my stomach grumble out loud.

"Are you serious?! These are my favorites!" Mike laid down takeouts from Subway, and Ash had donuts and expensive drinks for us I didn't know what or why but I was so grateful.

"We know! And it's all sweets so you could stay up all night with this for sure!" Mike exclaimed, confusing me for a bit.

"How did you know I was gonna stay up—" Their eyes quickly darted over Luke who kept his mum while unwrapping a sandwich that only then did he noticed all eyes were on him. And I couldn't explain it but—but I really, really wanna hug him right now.

"What?"

I managed to purse my lips and shook my head from his evidently innocent act and was probably on the verge of tears if I hadn't heave it away. I didn't think crying would be the best reaction right now. "Thank you, guys."

"And the best part is, we're gonna stay with you!" My eyes went wide open from what Ashton said.

Am I hearing that right?

"No! You don't have to!"

"Come on. When's the last time we hung out like this?" I hate to cry from Mikey's words that I just merely dunk my hands on the donut and ate away the lump on my throat threatening to pour down.

"Fine. You can stay. But you have to leave all the sprinkled donuts for me!"

"But I want one!" Luke whined, freezing me and all my feelings from him, acting so comfortable like that.

"That's the only rule." Keep up, Theo. Don't show him the love eyes Kyle was talking about.

"No eating the sprinkled donuts!" Mike shut off the box and we laughed together like old friends in a night on Luke's house, like the last night we've all been together. The last night I've seen the laughter and smiles on their faces. The last time the man beside me held me so tight I was certain I'm gonna be happy for the rest of my life.

"Am I late?" Calum arrived just before the sandwiches disappeared from Ashton's hands, carrying his laptop, and looking at me. And for the first time since tour, he didn't look at me like he hated me.

"You got over your Nickelback fever?" I quipped.

"Maybe." Calum joined in with that adorable smile on his face as he grabbed the last sandwich and we sat there, me forgetting about the deadline for a while, and us around in a circle talking about Nickelback.

I took out my phone and rolled it around us just so I could have something to remind myself that things are still going to be better.

We've officially ran out of subway, and there's only one sprinkled donut on the box, and all empty cups of coffee scattered around in the middle at three in the morning all the while Mikey, who fell asleep on Luke's leg first, was immediately followed by Ash who slept at his stomach. Meanwhile, Calum was still trying to open his eyes while watching a video about guitars, and Luke, he was already fast asleep beside me on my bag, that's also conveniently leaning on my leg.

I did a lot of work while hanging out with them a while ago but I paused just in the middle when my eyes travelled at Luke's sleeping figure and saw just how peaceful it is. Reminding me of the times I used to sleep and wake up beside him every day. Reminding me of the time where he'd pulled me closer at night, and would hum me my favorite songs to sleep.

My hands had a mind of its own when it rise up, just to hover around the hair that felt into his face. Moving it carefully and as gently as I could to keep him from waking up when—his eyes started fluttering.

I cursed and tried finding my way to the video I was editing when nothing but silence followed. Figuring he must've just droned on after disturbing him—and went back to stare at his face again—and found that he was wide awake. I didn't know what to do other than stutter and smile, and show that I was doing something not weird at all.

"Thanks for bringing them here together." I finally said after minutes of anxiously looking for words to say.

"It's alright. I'm sure they missed it." Something heavy dropped on my other leg, finding that it was Calum, already fast asleep as his laptop laid on the ground. I pushed down the screen to turn it off and stared for a minute while my heart warmed at the same time. "Cal missed it. He just—" He paused and I knew, "He just didnt want to see me like that again." Fuck.

"Luke. I—uh, never apologized to you sober so I'm—sorry. For all the things I've done. And I know it's never gonna be enough for all I've put you through—" I was going to explain that I may never find the strength to tell him the reason when he cut me off effectively from what he said.

"I never really found the time to forget about you." Luke... "I just—drowned myself in enough work to forget a little but I—I guess I never tried forgetting completely."

"Why? I hurted you. So much, Luke." I figured it was the time to talk about the things we never did.

"I know." He paused, "And its's gonna take some time."

"I know. I'm sorry, Lu. Y—You deserved better."

"I had the best." Oh. "She just didn't know that."

"Yeah. She's an asshole."

"Mmm. A little."

We looked at each other and chuckled even if my heart feels like crap all of a sudden. Like I'm a fraud for continuously apologizing to him yet I never could tell him the reason for it. He went all out of his way to talk to me. To bring us all together again even if what I did hurts like shit. Even if I left him, just like that with no explanations why.

I started to wonder now if I really did something I couldn't remember that night I got drunk and went to him.

Have I told him the truth?

*・。*゜・。・o゜・。*゜・。・o*゜・。・o*

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