Fight for you

Chapter 65

Chapter 65

~Lily's POV~

*A months later*

We all stood around dressed in nice clothes, I held Jawad in my arms as I tried to hold back the tears but it seemed impossible in this surreal time. We stood around the gravestone that read Harry Edward Styles February 1, 1994 – December 15, 2015. Leader of Anileis Thanatos and loving friend. There was no body to burry but after three months of searching and no sign of Harry, we could all assume he probably perished in the fire. The only thing I still didn't get was the fact that his clothes and ring survived; they were terribly burnt but they survived. A part of me believes he went back and placed them there...that or someone did but when I tried to talk to Zayn about it he would just walk away...he was somewhat cold when it came to bringing up Harry's death and tried to avoid the topic as much as possible.

When all of our respects were paid we turned to leave, Zayn taking the lead back to the car. Zayn was handling all this pretty harshly, he doesn't know that I heard him crying all alone in his room the night he finally called off the search. He was in there for about an hour crying before he went to destroying his room and then leaving to go get drunk. Jawad still didn't fully understand what it meant when we said Harry was gone, he just think he's away on a business trip at this point. We tried to explain it to him but he refused to listen and as terrible as it was to leave him thinking Harry would come back, the heartbreaking screams and sobs seemed so much worse. We decided to tell him when he was older...well I more or less decided, Zayn wanted no part in having to talk about this again.

We walked to the car and climbed in getting ready to head home, we would be holding a get together so the members could come over. I hated it, I didn't want their condolences or their pity. I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in self-pity. The drive home was silent and I just looked out the window, watching how all the buildings turned into trees. Japan has such beautiful places and the food was amazing. Harry would have loved it here, I just know he would have.

When we got home I got Jawad out of the car and headed into the house, I would need to start preparing for people to come over. I set him down and headed to the kitchen, I figured making something Harry would have liked was the way to go. I started gathering all the ingredients to make Harry's favorite dishes, I was going to make steak, fish, chicken, and all his favorite sides. I figured this would keep me occupied and I wouldn't have to conversate with anyone. I set everything on the counter and placed my hands down, I bowed my head and squeezed my eyes closed.

After everything that has happened I won't see you again, I wasn't supposed to attend your funeral...you weren't supposed to die. I heard footsteps enter the kitchen and I turned to see Zayn, he looked at me with a sad expression. I sniffled and wiped my face, going to stand up straight. He walked over to me and cupped my face.

"You don't have to pretend like you're not hurt by this," He whispered and I reached up to grip his wrist pulling away.

I sighed and looked over at the wall, "Yeah well I don't have a choice...people are coming..."

Zayn stepped away from me and scoffed, "They point of them coming is to give you condolences, they know you're upset...they would find it weird if you weren't."

I turned to look at him and crossed my arms, I didn't ask for him to come in here. If he was going to be a dick he could leave, I don't really care to deal with it.

"I didn't ask them to come here...I don't want them here! I just want to be left alone," I snapped causing him to sigh.

He tried to pull me to him but I pushed him away and headed out of the kitchen, "Where are you going?"