I Dont Need Anyone| jack barakat (no more updates)

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trigger warning: implied self harm

Jasey pov

Only human, by the jonas brothers was playing on my speaker. I was hugging my legs as sat in bed.

luara told me earlier today that Pj made a rumor that he slept with me.

I guess that's why everyone was laughing at me.

I wasnt going to prom. I couldnt. I considered asking grandma to put me back in homeschooling, but I knew that we only had two more months left of school.

the rumor hasn't made it to the other grades. I think.

I had homework I had to do but I couldn't bring my self to do it.

I got up and grabbed some pajamas and headed to the bathroom to shower.
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in the shower I was sitting down with the water pointing away from me.

I was tired and numb.

after I finally convinced myself to actually shower, I got out and dried myself off. I got changed, but couldn't convince myself to put in product for my hair, or moisturize my face.

I was lucky enough to convince myself to put on deodorant.

I walked back to my room, luckily it was friday. I could just do my homework towmorrow or Sunday.

I turned off my speaker and layed on my bed. closing my eyes.

I couldn't fall asleep.

my thoughts were too bad.

I thought about calling, Jack, or Luara. or even gray. I did , i really did think about it, but my uncles words kept coming back.

"Dont ever tell anyone about your problems Jasey you'll just annoy them,".

I attempted to try and think it's not true, and it wasn't, but that moment in time. I really did feel that way.

I got out of bed and went through my backpack, I couldn't find what I was looking for, so I went through my dresser drawers, and bed side table.

still couldn't find it. so I went through my closet and grabbed my box full of the stuff I still havent unpacked from Florida, yet.

I opened the zebra print bag and found the light blue sharpener.

I went back into my bathroom and grabbed my tweezers and put them under the blade and popped it out of its place.
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looking at my journal, that I write in every time I do the act. I looked at the last date in there.

may 3rd 2019

I was almost a year clean.