Breaking Point (Sequel)

Chapter 18

Harry's POV

Its been a week.

Nothing, I feel nothing. I haven't felt anything since that day. I haven't been the same since my whole world came crashing down at my feet. The house is a mess and I have no intention to clean it, I have no reason to. I don't have anyone here to tell me to put away my dishes or tidy up the living room. Sara would be the one to tell me to do those things but she still hasn't returned home. She hasn't come home since she left me stranded on our doorstep. I miss her more than words can explain. My heart aches for her to come back to me and it feels as if there's a hole in my heart that is begging to be filled, even if its just temporary.

Five simple words that Sara always used to tell me, keep replaying over and over in my head, "Everything happens for a reason.'' If everything happens for a reason than why does everything make us so miserable and leave life feeling so unfulfilled? Those are just some of the questions that will never be revealed to us. Unfortunately that's how life goes.

I get out of my bed after another sleepless night to do what I continue to do every morning. I reached the end of the hallway and pressed my hand to the cold, grey handle to Addison's room. Addison has been sleeping in my room ever since the incident but that was until Zayn came over last night to watch her while I met up with Simon. When I came home, Zayn had already put Addison to sleep in the room I promised myself I would never enter in again. I had to work up some sort of courage to be able to simply open the door. I know as soon as I do, the horrible memories will come flooding back and I will return back to the spot I was in a week ago, barely living and not sleeping at all.

The sound of Addison's voice brought me back to reality. I was reminded of my responsibilities as a father. I will always be a father no matter no matter how many children I have. My child is the one thing I have to put first in my life. Before my job, my friends, and especially before myself. Its hard to see the whole picture when the instances in my life have caused me to only see the smallest of things.

In less than a split second, I found myself pushing the handle and letting the door swing open. The familiar scene played freshly in my mind. The slight creek in the door, the faint but distinct smell of the room, but more familiar than anything else was the image of my son that was no longer in his crib nor will he ever be again.

Trying to move my feet to go into the room was like nothing I have ever experienced before. They felt heavy and unmovable. The cries of my 5 month old quickly subsided as she quickly got a glimpse of me. They soon returned as she noticed I was not coming to retrieve her. My mind quickly went to Sara. Her being here would make this so much easier but I could never put someone through the pain of feeling this way in order to make my life easier. The thought of loosing Addison too seemed to put enough feeling in my legs to walk over to her crib to pick her up. I avoided the empty crib next to her as I cradled her in my arms. I took my hand and softly caressed her small head in hopes to calm her down.

Before I could spend any more time than needed in the room, I grabbed some clothes and an extra diaper before making my exit. I reached the bottom of the staircase and entered the living room. After changing Addison clothes, I warmed up a bottle for her and she finished the entire bottle faster than I had anticipated. I had to mentally make a note to remember that Addison will be able to start eating baby food soon instead of just drinking milk.

I ignored the thought of eating and proceeded to put Addison in her bouncy chair to keep her busy. I turned on the t.v. to watch whatever came on first but I was finding it harder and harder to stay awake as the minutes passed by. I opened my eyes briefly to check on Addison before letting myself doze off. I cant remember the last time I was able to get a good full nights rest. Between everything that's happened, Sara leaving, and Addison crying throughout the night, its hard to sleep at all around here.