Your Venom

Your Venom - Chapter Twenty Four

  While the others talk excitedly about my new strength, feeling more confident about the people after me, Seth and I sit under the tree, his arm around my shoulder.

"You seem to very quick at excusing yourself. Don't you want it to be recognised?" he asks, a teasing smile on his face.

"I just don't understand why nobody believes me when I say I'm not that strong. Logan hasn't fed and I just have, it makes sense as to why I beat him" I say.

"Lexie, you have to understand that you are still . . . how to put this . . . you aren't 'full' yet. The blood you had yesterday wasn't enough for a new vampire. When we hunt tonight you'll be full. The strength you feel today is nothing compared to how you'll be tomorrow" Seth says and I sigh.

"The hunt" I murmur.

"You're still worried about that?" he asks, bringing me closer to him.

"I don't want to kill people" I sigh.

"None of us do, but you get used to it" Red says, coming into the conversation, one we've had before.

"I don't want to 'get used to it'. I don't want to do it at all!" I complain and he sighs.

"Like I said, they're our 'animals'. Just think of them as pigs or something" Red says and I growl.

"How can you say that?! How can you just . . . dismiss humans like pigs? How can you treat them like they're nothing? You've been one! You've had family and friends who are human! How can you just dismiss them?!" I ask, getting really angry with what Red is saying.

"I have to. This is how we live! You're going to live like this and you'll get used to it, become numb to the pain of killing somebody else to survive" Red retorts.

"You're an animal!" I shout.

"And now so are you!" Red replies, his words sending ice to my stomach. 

I get up and walk away, ignoring Seth as he calls me back, just wanting to get away from Red . . . get away from the truth. I slam the back foor behind me and rush up to my room, locking the door and  throwing myself on my bed, pulling a pillow on my head. I try to ignore Seth as he knocks on my door. Being a vampire, he could knock the door down, but he doesn't, just sighs and walks away while I try to come to terms with the murder I'm about to commit.

* * * * *

  After a few hours locked in my room, I decide it's time to show my face and talk to Seth. Looking out my window, I find him sitting under the same tree with the others. I sigh, knowing I'll have to face Red after my stupid, pathetic freak out. I should have accepted this by now . . .

 Pulling myself away from the window, I walk towards the door and open it, stepping out into the corridor. I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen, shooting to the back door. As soon as I step outside, the others turn to look at me. Seth is instantly at my side, looking concerned.

"What happened back there?" he asks, hind hand under my chin so I'm forced to look at him.

"Nothing, I just don't like the thought of killing people and over reacted" I reply.

"You didn't 'over react'" Seth says, kissing me quickly before looking towards the others.

"I don't know what I should say to them, especially Red" I admit.

"You don't have to apologise or anything, Red understands what it's like to be a first timer" Seth tells me and I shake my head.

"I shouldn't have shouted at him, it wasn't fair" I say and Seth smiles, kissing me again and then walk with me towards the others.