Being Allison

Chapter 37-

'Stella' and 'Die' in the same sentence did not make sense.

In that moment I felt nothing but numbness, I had not imagine it being closer.

"Stella! Stella !!!" I kept shouting before nurses came in

"Someone get her out of here" the doctor that charged Stella said.

"Charge to 250" she said again. Doctor Hamid rushed in and I could see something in her eyes, fear maybe.

"Ma'am can you step out for a bit" the nurse said to me.

I stepped out and started praying this wasn't the end.
I kept on praying for what felt like the longest time until Doctor Hamid came out.

She's fine,

it's a false alarm,

she'd be fine, she's just stressed that's what I wanted to hear.

"How's she?"Cory and I chorused and she looked down.  I looked at Philip I could see tears stream down his cheeks, he looked like he knew. Dr.Hamid said it, what I didn't want to hear.

"We did everything we could. I'm sorry for your loss" she said and I  felt a pinch in my heart.

I could literally feel one of my heart strings pull out.

I walked into the room and there laid Stella but right now this wasn't Stella this was Stella's body
"I'm sorry" I said to the body
"It's not your fault" Philip said
"I could have fought for her to get the treatment" I said and he held my shoulders
"You tried and that's what matters" he said
"Simon and Stella need us" he said and more tears rolled down my cheeks
I ran out of the room and to the car park with Cory calling my name behind me.

"I could have prevented this" I said to Cory between my tears and then he wrapped his arms around me

"Allison its not your fault" he said and I just couldn't believe him.

Tears kept rolling down my cheeks but I still wasn't understanding why this had to happen.

Stella wasn't supposed to die.

"She wasn't supposed to die, that wasn't the plan" I spaid again still in tears

"I know but you need to calm down, Simon and his sister need you" he said still holding me so tight.

The next two hours Cory and I sat in the car in complete silence, I was still crying with him just staring at me. I stopped crying and stared at the hood of the car and then everything was in my blindspot.

Right after, I rushed out of the car and threw everything that seemed to block my airway out by Cory's car. He rushed to the side and rubbed my back, he took my hair out of my face and I threw up even more.  Later, Cory told me I passed out for two days. On thr second day when I woke up, he said I asked when Stella was coming and when the Doctors try to tell me, I would pass out again, it had happened thrice before Philip asked they did not mention anything about it. I finally became stable and after what felt like a week, Philip told me the truth. I cried like a baby. I cried and wished I had been the one to die.

I wasn't quite sure what to expect in the future or what to do with myself.

The following Saturday, I returned home. "You should you go in to see the babies, they need you" Cory said. I nodded wiping my eyes. "They're in the nursery" he said.

I took a deep breath before entering the nursery.

I couldn't help but notice Stella's body wasn't there. She was not sitting in the roxking chair. I felt like she was coming.
Both babies kept crying and Philip seemed like he couldn't handle them.
He was trying to pacify them but it wasn't working.