The Three of Us

155. Frustration

Anne brought up marriage again, and Marilla interrupted, "How's Gilbert's schoolwork coming along?"

The question startled Anne. "Good, I think. He's a good student."

"Yes, but specifically," Marilla pressed. "What tests has he had lately? How many hours of homework does he get per night? Does he have any big projects going on right now?"

Anne was thrown off. "I don't know," she began slowly. "He tells me what they're learning in class, so I can know the information too...but he doesn't tell me about each individual assignment he does. Why?"

"I just hope," Marilla said, "That your eagerness to marry isn't making him feel more stress over his schoolwork."

"What do you mean?" Anne asked.

Marilla explained, "Gilbert committed to doing a two-year program condensed into one year. He's doing twice as much work as the others. Of course, he's motivated to move ahead with school so you can marry sooner. But if this program becomes too stressful, it would be better for him to switch back to the two-year schedule, wouldn't it?"

Anne nodded slowly. "You think he should switch?"

"No," Marilla said. "But if the strain becomes too much, he should feel that he can switch- without guilt over delaying things."

Anne stared at her. She had felt so impatient waiting to start the next part of her life.

But now she realized that Gilbert wasn't waiting for marriage- he was working for marriage.

All she had to do was wait; it was Gilbert who had to make sure everything was ready for her.

She decided then that she could be more patient.

---

"Hey, Blythe- a bunch of us are going downtown tonight," Robert called out, into Gilbert's room. "Wanna come?"

Gilbert pulled his eyes from his textbook. "No, thanks," he said.

Robert came striding into the room. "Blythe, you gotta put the books down once in a while and have some fun."

Gilbert smiled. "It's good. I'm all right. You have a nice time."

Robert dropped onto Gilbert's bed, "There's some pretty fine gals here," he said, trying to tempt him. "You're gonna miss a good time."

Gilbert shook his head. "I need to get work done."

"So do it on the weekend! It's not due til Monday."

"I don't like to take work home on weekends," Gilbert began.

"Overachiever," Robert teased. "Ma and Pop gonna lay into you if you don't come home with all your work done?"

"My parents are dead," Gilbert finally said flatly. He was ready for Robert to get out of his room.

Robert's face paled. "Oh- oh, God- sorry, Blythe. I didn't know."

Gilbert nodded and turned back to his book.

"Who...who do you live with?" Robert asked curiously. "You go home every weekend."

"I live alone. My dad died a couple years ago."

"You never moved in with anyone?" Robert asked, a bit stunned at the blow Gilbert had delivered.

Gilbert shrugged. "I figured I was old enough to start out on my own. Not really any family nearby to move in with, anyway."

Robert blew out his breath. "Then why go home all the time? Why not stay here? Those girls are gonna meet us down at the-"

"Look," Gilbert interrupted. "I have someone back home. That's why I go every weekend, and that's why I don't want to take work home with me. I just...want to be with her as long as I'm there."

Robert wanted to make fun of the dreamy look in Gilbert's eyes, but he was too interested. "You got a picture of her?" he asked.

Gilbert wanted a photo of Anne, but he decided it was not a good time to suggest it...Anne was a little sour on the whole idea of photographs at the moment.

"No, but I do have one of-" Gilbert had started to take Walter's photo out of his desk drawer, but he stopped and cut himself off before he could mention Anne's baby. Instead he just shook his head.

"You have one of what?" Robert pushed.

"Uh..."

Robert, being the jerk that he was, reached around Gilbert and snatched the photograph. "What're you hiding, Blythe? Is she too ugly for- hey, this is just a baby!"

Gilbert nodded, He put his hand out, eyebrows up, expecting the photo back.

Robert gave it back.

Gilbert put it in his drawer and shut it firmly.

"Why do you keep it in there?"

"Because it's no one else's business," Gilbert said, knowing that Anne would not be regarded highly if anyone knew she had a baby, and then under his breath- "And because I'm living with a bunch of pigs."

Robert said, "I don't get it. Why do you have a picture of a baby?"

Gilbert didn't answer.

But a sly grin came to Robert's face."Ohhh...so, she puts out? No wonder you like going home every weekend."

Gilbert's voice became unfriendly: "The guys are waiting for you. Go on now, I have work to do."

Robert left, but he was staring at Gilbert.

---

After the guys had left, Gilbert pushed his books away and flopped down on his bed. He needed to finish his homework now so he wouldn't have to take it home and waste precious time with Anne, but...

Sigh.

Would everything be difficult forever? All he wanted was to be with Anne. Why were their lives so complicated?

Well, he knew why.

But he kept up hope that things would get easier.

He couldn't wait to go to her- to see her, to talk to her, to kiss her...

...But he wanted to be with her more than that. And he couldn't. He pulled his pillow over his head suddenly, a noise made in frustration escaping him.

He sat up. Pushing his books aside, he decided it would benefit him to go for a run.