The Three of Us

87. Afternoons

Gilbert was sitting at the table, considering Miss Stacy helping Anne with school work to be a refresher course for himself, too. Mostly he was glad he could be there to let Anne focus on her learning, because if he could look after Walter a bit, then Anne didn't have to jump up every time he needed something.

It began simply, with Gilbert offering to hold Walter because Anne could not write with him in her arms, but when she tried to set him down, he wailed and wailed until he was picked up again. So Anne handed the baby over, grateful.

When Walter began to fuss to be fed, Anne had to get up to prepare a bottle, but once it was made, Gilbert reached out to take the bottle, wordlessly offering to feed him so Anne could sit back down with Miss Stacy again.

The next time he needed a bottle, Gilbert stood up and went to the stove. "So what do we do here?" he asked her.

She laughed. "It's all right, Gilbert, you don't have to mix his formula."

"No, no," he said, "I've got this. We just pour this in, right? And it has to come to a boil?"

"It doesn't have to boil, actually- but, oh, Gilbert- you have to put the formula into the bottle, not into the pot," Anne said with a little bit of a laugh. "You pour it into the bottle and mix it up with water and screw the lid back on. And then you put the bottle in the pot with water to heat and when you get it out you need oven mitts. Then you have to let the bottle cool off and you have to pour some on your wrist to make sure it's not still too hot."

"All right," he said, reaching for a clean bottle. "Walter, just wait, you'll see who makes your bottles best."

Anne laughed and Miss Stacy smiled at them.

Once Gilbert knew how to prepare a bottle, he began to pick up a bit more for her. He seemed to move comfortably into a role of being just another one of Walter's caretakers. Walter had always looked to Gilbert for both comfort and amusement, but now he began to expect nourishment from him too.

Gilbert didn't really understand why the baby was fed with bottles or what the formula was made from. But he was glad that the way they were feeding him gave Anne a bit more freedom; she could go off and do other things if needed, and others could feed the baby.

One day after Gilbert got a bottle ready for Walter and fed him, he noticed Miss Stacy watching him thoughtfully. Anne was busy working a math problem, and Gilbert was holding Walter on his lap and wiping up the bit of milk that puddled on his little wobbly chin.

Once Walter finished his bottle, Gilbert got up and went to the sink. He held Walter in one arm while his other hand rinsed out the bottle and set it in the sink.

Then Gilbert began pacing the kitchen, and as he walked he was patting the baby's back to get him to burp. Once Walter had burped, then Gilbert came back to the table and held Walter on his lap again, the baby's hand grasping at his shirt and pulling it.

He could feel Miss Stacy's eyes on him, and the way she seemed to be sizing him up made him realize that she assumed him to be the father. And why wouldn't she? He was there every day; the baby clearly looked to Gilbert as his regular caregiver, and Miss Stacy noticed. Of course she would assume the two of them had been in a relationship that resulted in little Walter being born.

If Miss Stacy ever asked him outright- though he doubted she would, it being somewhat of a rude question- he would have to be honest and tell her that, no, he was not the father. But unless she specifically asked him that question, he had no intention of telling her he wasn't. Because if he told Miss Stacy the truth of how Walter came to exist, he'd be overstepping- what had happened to Anne was Anne's story, and he had no right to tell it for her.

If he told Miss Stacy he wasn't the father but then offered up no further information on the subject, well...Miss Stacy might just assume Anne was the sort of girl who, as people say, 'gets around'. Didn't Anne seem overly familiar with one boy only a few months after having a baby with a different boy? No, he couldn't let Miss Stacy think that.

So he decided he was fine with the assumption. It wouldn't look as if Anne had multiple boys involved in her life, and Miss Stacy wouldn't have to know Anne's secret.

Anne began to hope for a possibility of becoming a teacher after all. She knew the Avonlea school would never admit her back, but perhaps she could go to school somewhere else, somewhere where they didn't know her, and graduate there.

And then- if Walter went away- she could go on to Queens to earn a teaching license and find employment. The more she was with the wonderful Miss Stacy, the more she wanted to be just like her. It would mean she couldn't keep Walter, but she'd never been set on keeping him anyway.

She wanted to build her own life, on choices she'd made, not the choices someone else had made for her.

When Miss Stacy was with her the next day, Anne began asking her about how one went about earning a license- were the exams difficult? How long did they give you to take them? Were there essay questions? Did you have to pay a fee to sit for the exams? Did they mail you your license once it was earned, or was there some sort of ceremony where they were handed out?

Miss Stacy answered her questions, but she spoke reluctantly and seemed not to want to give Anne too much information.

Gilbert drove Miss Stacy home, using the Cuthberts' buggy, and would return afterward to spend the evening with Anne.

But on the drive, Miss Stacy asked, "'Gilbert, Anne isn't married, is she? She's too young, I know, and I realize she still lives at home with her family, but I thought- I thought that in situations like this, where things must change a bit- there might be a marriage on paper, even if the couple doesn't actually set up their own home together...?"

Gilbert shook his head slowly. "No." Then he said, "I don't see why Anne should have to get married so young just because this...happened. She has things she wants to do in the future and I know the baby's made things a bit more complicated, but...is something troubling you, Miss Stacy?"

Miss Stacy took a breath. "I don't want to dissuade a student from the goals they set and the dreams they believe in. But I've wrestled with this time and again. Anne has been asking a lot of questions about college and earning a license and having a teaching career..."

Gilbert knew where this was going.

Miss Stacy continued, "People are not always accepting of a woman teacher in the first place- I've had trouble with that myself- even coming here! Not all school boards believe women will make the most effective teachers. And even those who do, often seriously doubt a woman will be able to keep good discipline in the school, particularly with the boys. Now, as much interest as Anne expresses in becoming a teacher, I don't see how she can earn a teaching license. The school won't allow her back, and she won't be admitted to college. Yet the way she questions me leads me to believe that she is holding out hope it will be possible for her."

Gilbert smiled softly. "She's usually pretty good at holding onto hopes, even when things are bleak."

Miss Stacy was quiet a moment. "If we were to find a way for her to finish her schooling. And if she were somehow able to take the exams to get a license... Oh, I would love to find a way for her! Yet at the same time, I hate to encourage her, knowing that it won't pay off for her in the end! Because it won't- no school board will hire her with a toddler in tow. They won't hire a mother at all, wed or unwed. ...She'll work so hard, with no reward for it in the end."

Gilbert didn't say anything for a moment. He shifted in the buggy seat, moving the reins from one hand to the other. "She wants to earn a teaching certificate, Miss Stacy, it's a goal for her- but I don't expect she'll need to use it."

Miss Stacy was watching him.

"She doesn't need to worry about having a career or providing for herself."

That was all he spoke as he looked ahead at the road laid out in front of him.