The Three of Us

48. Trying to See the Bright Side

When Marilla came back into the house, she found Matthew alone in the parlor.

"I'm shocked by her, really," Marilla remarked, shaking her head. "I thought she'd feel relieved to go to a hospital. It'll give her less to worry about!"

Matthew said, "That's why she doesn't want to go."

Marilla looked up at him, surprised. "She never makes a lick of sense, that child!"

Matthew explained what he had learned from his talk with Anne: "She's afraid, and we tell her there's nothing to be afraid of and she'll be just fine- but then we tell her she has to go away to a hospital. She feels we've lied to her about the risks."

Marilla sighed, helpless. "I see. If there wasn't any risk, no one would have thought of a hospital. So all we did was confirm her fears!"

Matthew nodded.

"What are we to do, Matthew, there is danger." She shook her head. "Well, where is she now?"

Matthew gestured toward the stairs. "I took her upstairs after we talked about it. She wore herself out with all her crying. Gilbert's up there with her."

Marilla was caught off guard at that last part. "When did he get here? I didn't see him come in."

"He was out in the barn talking to Jerry. He came in the side door."

"And you sent him up to Anne's bedroom? Matthew, we've got to stop allowing that!"

Matthew gave her a look. "What do you think'll happen, Marilla?"

Marilla just stared at him. Then her shoulders sagged. Matthew was right: Anne really didn't have anything to lose by having a boy in her room.

There were two reasons Marilla thought a boy entering a girl's room should not be allowed: the possibility of becoming unchaste, and safeguarding one's reputation for the future.

But Anne's chastity isn't really a factor, now, is it- she's already pregnant, Marilla realized. And as for safeguarding one's reputation, she won't be considered a girl who can attract courtship prospects...though it's no fault of her own, Anne is out of the running.

--

Gilbert was sitting on the edge of Anne's bed.

Anne was lying on her side, curled up in a ball- as much as she was able, considering the obstacle that was her belly.

When she'd heard him coming in, she'd pulled her quilt quickly over her, in an attempt to hide the baby as much as possible.

Her tears were drying.

She had not told Gilbert what was wrong, in fact she had not spoken to him at all.

He'd come in with a gentle whisper of "Hi, Anne," and sat down softly by her side.

After several minutes, Anne responded. "Hi," she whispered.

Gilbert reached out for her hand, and Anne took it.

"They're making me go to a hospital," she told him.

Gilbert nodded. "Good."

"No, it's not good!" Anne said, finally sitting up. "I don't want to!"

"Why not?" Gilbert asked. "It'll be better that way."

After all the disturbing things he'd read in that medical volume, he was relieved to know she'd be in a hospital instead of at home.

"It's not better that way! I don't want to!" Anne exclaimed. "People have babies at home!"

"Not everyone does," Gilbert said calmly, moving her hair out of her eyes. "I bet there are lots of women who have babies in hospitals."

"Why, Gilbert?" Anne demanded.

"Probably just to be safer, in case there are risks," he answered.

Anne's eyes filled with tears again. "Exactly! Because there are risks!" She started to cry again.

Gilbert hugged her. "Just because there are some risks doesn't mean anything is going to happen."

Anne nodded, leaning on his shoulder.

"Nothing is going to happen to you," he continued.

She didn't answer, and he couldn't see her face from where she was resting against him.

Then Gilbert thought of something. He pulled away so he could look at her. "You aren't going to the hospital for you. You're going for Mr. and Miss Cuthbert."

"What do you mean?"

He smiled at her. "This is the first time you've really had parents, isn't it? So you don't understand how it is, growing up with parents. They're terrible, and ridiculous. They worry about all kinds of things and for no reason at all, and then they make you do things just because they're worried. Things like...like..."

"Like making me put on a sweater when she feels cold," Anne put in, actually letting out a little laugh. She wrapped her arms around herself and told him, "She used to do that in the winter- she'd suddenly shiver and say, 'my, it's cold in here. Anne, go put on your sweater.' ...And I wasn't a bit cold!"

Gilbert smiled. "And it never ends- even when you're grown up they'll still worry over you all the time. That's just how parents are. So the best thing you can do is just humor them. Go along with what they want, because you want them to feel better." Gilbert touched her cheek. "Can you do that? For them?"

Anne whispered, "I guess so."

But then she leaned into him again. Resting on his shoulder, she said unhappily, "I don't want to go away and have some strange doctor looking at me!"

"Maybe Dr. Carter could come to the hospital with you. Then it wouldn't have to be a stranger."

"But it'll be far away and we don't know when I'll have to go. Anyway, he needs to stay here with your father. If he goes away with me, and your father gets worse..."

Gilbert didn't know what to say to that. If Dr. Carter wasn't in town, a doctor from elsewhere could be sought in an emergency, but what if he came too late, or couldn't come at all?

"Besides, I don't want Dr. Carter looking at me either!" Anne said miserably. "I don't want anyone to!"

Gilbert felt bad for her. "You know, if you really think it'll be embarrassing, then there's something good about it being a doctor you don't know, who lives far away in a different city."

"What's that?"

"Once it's all over with, you'll come home and you'll never see him again."

Anne breathed. "That's true."