The Three of Us

46. Jane

School was out for the summer, and Anne was glad, because it meant that she would no longer have to feel as though she were missing out on everything.

She remembered, now, her unrealistic thought that she might be able to reach the end of the school year without anyone knowing about her condition:

"But, Marilla- I don't want to stop going- we don't have that much longer before school is out, really!" she had begged.

Marilla, direct, but with a much gentler voice than usual, told her, "Anne...you won't be able to make it to the end of the year."

Looking at herself now, she thought Marilla had been right. Her condition had been visible for a long time, but in recent weeks, it had become embarrassing, and she shook her head at her memory of thinking she might still have been going to school at this point in time.

That too-big dress had been hanging on her door for weeks, and could have been put on at any time in recent days, but Anne was staunchly against it, resolving to keep her regular dress on even if it meant bursting at the seams.

But this morning, Anne finally surrendered, putting on the larger dress and saying goodbye to her old one.

"You won't have to wear it for very long," Marilla said, comfortingly, when she saw Anne come downstairs in the larger dress, looking defeated. "You should only have ten weeks left, now, dear. It'll be over soon."

--

Jane showed up unannounced in the evening.

Anne felt obligated to let her in when Marilla told her that Jane was standing on the front porch looking lonely and sorrowful, and that she'd come despite her parent's disapproval, risking getting in trouble if she was found out.

So Anne had given in, with the understanding that she not be expected to get up off the sofa from where she was hiding with her blanket over her lap.

Once Jane was in, though, Anne was glad she came.

Marilla was sitting alone in the kitchen, at the table with a lamp by her side, going through her recipe box for new ideas. Even when Anne wasn't happy about having a baby, she never let Marilla forget that Tuesdays were her baby's 'birthdays'- why, Marilla never knew- but they must have a dessert for it, and Marilla was getting tired of the same old standard cakes. As she sat searching for recipes, she felt her heart become lighter each time she heard the sound of the two girls giggling in the parlor.

Jane's visit even seemed to prompt in Anne a change of heart about the baby. Lately she had been grouchy at The Thing- and even grouchier when Marilla scolded her for referring to the baby as The Thing- and she was very outspoken about not keeping it, as she always was when her body hurt.

But today she wasn't in any pain at all, for once, so she was in a better mood. And with a friend to talk to, her spirits were lifted. When Jane noticed the catalogs on the coffee table and begged, "Oh, let's look at these- everything must be so cute!", Anne couldn't help allowing her friend's enthusiasm to rub off on her just a little. Jane had fun oohing and aahing over all the baby things, and before long she had Anne building an imaginary nursery in her mind.

They sounded like two young girls pretending, just as they should have been.

--

When Jane finally- reluctantly- went home, she decided she would say she'd been at Tillie's again.

But no one in her house asked her where she'd been.

She wished someone would invite her to stay overnight, because she was finding her own home to be a less than welcoming environment.

Worse, Billy was visiting for a few days, and he became his parent's golden child while there, with Jane cast off to the side.

Jane detested the way her parents acted as though Billy could do no wrong- as if he had been the victim of Anne, rather than the other way around.

It made Jane have a strong desire to bring him uncomfortably close to the consequences of his actions.

"I felt your baby kick today," she announced to Billy as they sat reading in the evening. Everyone else had gone up to bed, and they were alone in the parlor.

When Billy did not react to this, Jane said- louder this time- "Did you hear me? About your baby?"

"I don't have a baby," he finally mumbled.

"Yes, you do," Jane said, brushing that off. "And it kicks a lot. Poor Anne- your baby kicking away at her- and she can't do a thing to get away from it!"

Billy's face got red. He hunched over his comic book, hiding it.

Jane said, "I wonder if it's a boy or a girl. I bet it's a boy, with all that kicking. Maybe it'll be an athlete! ...Do you think you're having a boy or a girl, Billy?"

Billy's face stayed in his comic book, as he tried very hard to shut Jane out.

Jane was happy to see Billy feeling uneasy. All her talk to Anne about the baby having nothing to do with Billy was meant solely for Anne's ears- to comfort Anne and make her feel better about the whole thing. ...But when it came to talking to Billy, she considered it her moral duty to pin that baby on him every chance she got. Because Jane and Billy's parents kept saying over and over that it wasn't Billy's problem- their family had nothing to do with it, and that Billy had no responsibility to her whatsoever, Jane felt it her responsibility to remind her brother that he was, in fact, the cause of the entire situation.

"I wonder if it'll look like you," Jane thought aloud. "Maybe it'll be sort of a mix of the two of you together. It could have your face but have red hair like Anne. Hmm, it'll be interesting to see whether it takes after it's mother or it's father."

Billy was really angry now. His hand gripped his comic book so hard his knuckles were white, and his mouth was set in a firm line.

Jane was enjoying this. "Have you thought about what you might have to do?"

"What?" Billy asked, finally looking up at his sister.

"About how much the Cuthberts will expect you to do," Jane clarified.

Billy finally spoke. "They can't make me do anything."

"Well," Jane said, "It isn't fair that Anne has to do everything, is it? Maybe they'll ask Mother and Father to have you come live with us again, so that you'll be close by. Then they can bring your baby over here and make you take care of it. ...That would be more fair, wouldn't it?"

Billy had had enough. He threw his comic book on the floor and stomped away. Jane could hear him stomping all the way upstairs to his room, and then she heard a door slam.

She waited a moment to hear if anyone had woken up because of the door slamming; Billy had not stopped to consider the others in the household before he slammed his door. But no one had woken up, it seemed. Jane picked up the Elsie book that Anne had loaned her, and went back to reading.

She knew her brother would never be made to take any responsibility for anything. Her parents would not make him, and the Cuthberts certainly didn't want Anne to have to interact with him in any way.

But Jane enjoyed making her brother worry about it.