The Three of Us

24. The Second Principle of Magic

When Anne walked home- with Gilbert by her side- she was still upset about Ruby. But Gilbert had not heard any of that, and Anne did not want to tell him, because she didn't want him to think- like Ruby- that her new pinafore had anything to do with what was happening in her midsection.

---

"I have a little surprise for you, Anne," Marilla said. "I thought we'd go to the library in Carmody this afternoon. We won't stay too long; I don't want to be gone when it's getting dark in the evening. But I want to look for some books, and I thought you could as well."

Marilla thought it would be nice to get Anne some new books to read because she feared that soon Anne would not have school as a distraction.

Marilla left Anne in the children's section and went to look at books on child care- her first thought was on the care of an infant, and then she began to look for books for mothers of young girls. She knew there would not be books about how to raise young, unmarried girls who were expecting, though she couldn't help wishing there were.

Eventually she left the nonfiction to go find Anne. But before she could even head toward the children's section, she nearly bumped into Anne in a nearby aisle.

"Oh, Anne!" Marilla exclaimed, her hand over her heart. "You gave me a fright."

Anne was holding a book close to her, as if to cover the title.

"Why didn't you stay in the children's room?" Marilla asked. "Were you looking for me?"

Anne nodded. "I didn't see you, so I just started wandering around."

"Well, what have you got there? Did you find something inspiring to read?" Marilla asked. She felt happy that Anne had wound up in the aisle that had a sign saying "Spiritual material".

Anne hesitated. Finally Marilla took the book from her. The title read James G. Frazer's Principles of Magic.

"Anne!" Marilla was appalled. "Anne, this is a book on-" Marilla's loud exclamation changed to a hushed voice- "on witchcraft!"

Marilla glanced again at the sign that said "Spiritual material" with new suspicion. She now saw that there weren't just good, wholesome Christian books. There were all sorts of things there- strange religions she'd never heard of, and books about contacting the dead through seances- spiritualism, they seemed to call it.

Marilla pushed the book back into the shelf and wiped her hands on her dress as if to remove any stray bits of mysticism that may have clung to her fingers.

She pulled Anne away from it and found a suitable book- a collection of sermons on fortitude, written by a Presbyterian missionary- and led Anne over to a nearby table. "Sit here and read this," she said firmly. "And pray that you won't be led astray by whatever evil it is that you just allowed into your mind! I'll come back and collect you when I'm finished looking for books."

Anne sat a minute until Marilla had gone back to whatever she had been looking at, and then she softly and quietly moved from her chair and slipped back into the aisle with the spooky books. She knew Marilla wanted what was best for her, and she didn't mean to be defiant, but she had to know what the second principle of magic was! She'd just read the first- "that like produces life, or that an effect resembles its cause"- but what was the second one? She quietly found the book, and after checking to see that Marilla wasn't nearby, she quickly found the page she'd been reading.

What is it, she thought, anxious to know.

Then she found it:

things which have once been in contact with each other continue to act on each other at a distance after the physical contact has been severed.

Anne stared at the page. When she heard footsteps, she quickly pushed the book back into it's spot and held her breath. But the passerby wasn't Marilla. Thankfully, she tiptoed back to her chair and pretended to read about how the Presbyterian missionary saved souls.

The ride home she was quiet.

"You're not upset about me not letting you read that book, are you?" Marilla asked after Anne had given her short, frosty responses to her attempts at conversation. "Because I have a duty, you know, as your guardian- and- and, well, as a mother to you, now- to keep you on the right track. And books such as...that...will do nothing for your moral character."

Anne shook her head. "I'm not upset."

"You certainly seem to be pouting," Marilla scolded. "There are hundreds of perfectly suitable books for you. Why your attention was attracted to such a book is beyond my understanding!"

---

"I changed my mind," Anne said as she and Gilbert opened their math books to work on their geometry the next afternoon. "About The Thing. ...I'll have to let it stay with me after all."

Marilla stopped in her tracks and listened.

"Oh," Gilbert reacted in surprise. "What made you decide?"

"I can't get rid of it," was all she said. She sounded glum.

"Well," Gilbert said, "I'm glad."

"Why?" Anne asked.

Gilbert didn't say anything for a moment. Finally he said, "Because I don't know how that works- I don't know if you'd be allowed to take it back if you changed your mind. ...I just hate to think of you being unhappy. That's all."

---

Marilla was surprised as well, and after Gilbert left, she asked Anne about it.

"It was that book," Anne said. "At the library."

"The one about the missionary?"

"No, the...other one. The one you didn't want me to read."

"Oh, goodness. Whatever did it make you think of?" Marilla asked, worried.

Anne tried to explain. "It said that...that...things stay connected to each other. Even at a distance- even after being separated- and that they'll always affect each other!" Anne took a breath. "Marilla, even if it goes away- and I never, ever have to lay eyes on it- it'll always be- be-" she did not know how to continue.

"It'll always be in your mind," Marilla said gently. "It isn't something you can forget and pretend never existed. Is that it?"

Anne nodded, shaky.

"I think that makes sense, though I'm not happy with how you came to this conclusion," Marilla said hesitantly. "But I am grateful you realize this now. It's been worrying me that you seemed to think if you left it, you'd just go back to life as usual. We can find a new home for it, Anne- if that's what you eventually settle on- but I thought you needed to understand that finding another home for it does not mean your life will go back to exactly how it used to be. Becoming a mother- whatever way you become one, and whatever happens to the baby- it changes you."

Anne nodded. But then tears sprang to her eyes. "If I could forget about it, then I could leave it. Because I wouldn't be thinking about it anymore. But now that I know I can't forget- I- I don't think I can leave it. Even if I don't want it. I...I have to let it stay." But then she looked up at Marilla's face, searching for answers. "But what if I don't feel anything for it?"

Marilla took Anne into her arms and held her close.

"I don't know how it would feel, Anne, to have to accept a baby under such difficult circumstances," she said softly. "But I do know, from experience, just how easy it is to fall in love with a child you didn't plan on."