Persistence

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Denial- the action of declaring something to be untrue.

"Wassup my guy?" I held the phone between my shoulder and ear as I gathered up some of the papers I was working on. I've been working nonstop since we left the hospital. I don't want to think about it right now because every time I do, I burst out crying.. so work is taking my mind off of that for temporary. I know eventually I'll have to deal with the shit but I'll prolong it.

"Yo Chris, I just left Senia's and she looks bad. She didn't want me there and while I was, she wasn't listenin to anythin I was tryin to say to her. Maybe you can go over there and at least make her eat somethin." He sighed into the phone. "Alright man. Thanks for lettin me know. I'm about to pull up over there now." "Nah it's all good. Let me know how it go." "Alright bet." "Bet." We ended the call and I took the phone, setting it down on the desk.

I hate even seeing her like this. I took great effect on me but for her....I think it just about killed her. I tried to make her stay with me for a couple of weeks, just so I could make sure she was okay but she pleaded for me to leave her at her house. I just gave in and let her do it. I gathered up the rest of the papers and cleaned up my desk some before dippin out.

While driving over, stopped and grabbed us both some Chipotle, I'm hungry too and I know she is. A random strike of pain went through my left arm and I winched, frowning. That shit hurted! I don't know what that shit was but I hope it don't happen again. I turned onto her street and this feeling of agony waved over me...something has to be wrong. I hit the gas and pulled up in the grass, cutting the car off and yanking the key out of the ignition. The lights were off from what I could see so she just might be sleep. Let me relax. I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath. 1..2...3. Alright. I walked back to the car and parked it properly in her drive thru, behind her car and grabbed out our food.

As I was putting my key into the door, the feeling cane over me again and I quickly unlocked the door, rushing inside. At the same time I entered, I heard multiple thuds against the floor. I dropped the food and followed the sound. My hands began to shake involuntary and the thudding stopped once I became closer. I flicked the kitchen light on and frowned, not seeing her in here. "Senia!!? Where are you at!!!" I looked around the island and frowned. Then it clicked, she upstairs sleep. I ran upstairs and into her room and busted into the room. I flicked the light on and instantly frowned again. She wasn't there. I walked to the connected bathroom and she wasn't there. Alright now she fucking playing. "If you trying to scare me, haha you got me! Come out!" I looked inside of her closet. Wasn't there. I looked behind the shower curtain and behind doors, still not there. I walked back downstairs and went to the downstairs bathroom. As I placed my hand on the knob, a shiver ran down my spine. I opened the door and my heart instantly fell to my stomach...

Her body laid there in a pool of her own blood. Blood was coming from her mouth and under her head. It looked as if she had a million slits on her wrist and they were still bleeding out. An empty pill bottle laid next to her body, swimming in the blood. I began to panic and my hands trembled while reaching for the phone. I got down on my knees, pulling her body onto mine while calling 911.

I can't believe this...this is..real life...this..second time..I...she's gone...........

"Mr.Brown..I'm sorry but we can't have you in the room while they're trying to operate!" The receptionist yelled to me. "Every fucking time I'm here, y'all always fucking telling me that I can't be in the room with MY girlfriend!! Y'all don't even tell me what the fuck is going on!!" I slammed my hand on the counter. Her eyes widen and she back away. "Come on mane, come sit down." James tried to pull me away from the counter but I wasn't going. "Nah! They always acting fucking funny and that's irritating as fuck. Listen, you better let me know in five minutes what the fuck is up or I'm jawing yo shit." I walked away from the desk and plopped down in a chair in the waiting room.