Persistence

Commit. (Alternate Proposal)

Persistence- firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.

(Roughly 4-7 months have passed between this chapter and the last chapter.)

I tossed myself against the wall and slid down it, breathing hard. Goddamn man! I basically poured my bottle of water down my throat cause a bitch is tired.

Soooooooooooooo guess who's life is looking right side up????? THIS BITCH! I could fucking scream to the top of my lungs how happy and proud of myself I am.

Let's go down the list.
1.) I've went back to school to finish my degree and I'm almost done. I have a few more months and classes before I officially earn my associates degree.
2.) Instead of trying to be the old me, I've created a brand new Senia. This Senia doesn't take no shit, but she allows others to learn her before she blocks them out completely. I still don't have my guard down all the way but I hear them out.
3.)I'm working on my physical health. I meal prep, eat veggies, drink strictly water, balance my meals, I even own a gym membership. Im dedicated forreal forreal.
4.) I cut my hair. Not like bald, 2007 fade cut but I cut down to a small curly fro. I had to learn that my hair didn't define me and it needed to change. So I cut it. Oh well, at the rate my hair be growing, it'll be back in no time.
5.) Me and Chris don't live together anymore. Still my lovebug of course but I wanted my independence back fully. he always over here with me anyway so it really don't matter! I had to let that house go that I tried to end myself in. I tried to stay there for a couple of weeks but I just couldn't. So I found myself a apartment on the 8th floor, downtown. The view is amazing! I have a balcony so only imagine how many times a week I get my shit wacked up there!
6.) This isn't really positive....but...me and Chris had a threesome. Hear me out! He wasn't asking me, I offered and he ran with it. We found a girl, all that good shit. We drunk our drinks, got to feeling good, clothes started falling off. She got to eating me while he hit her from the back but this where she fucked up. She took the condom off 'secretly' (watched her ass do it) to get him to nut in her. I beat her ass right then and there. I let you into my relationship for a night and you wanted to make it permanent. Aw yeah bitch you getting beating up. So we both learned a lesson that day.

That's the only new things that's been going on with me tho.

I can genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, say that I am happy. The happiest I have ever been in my life. I've gained my confidence back, I have a healthy hobby, and I'm working towards something long term, with the love of my life beside me.

If it's anything I can take away from all of the bullshit, tears, blood, pills, money, sex is that I am strong. I've learned how to be persistent enough to keep myself up and running no matter how much I didn't want to. I just wish something's wouldn't have happened but hey, life loves fucking me.

Anywho, after I leave the gym, Chris wants to take me somewhere. He won't tell me, which he knows how much I'm not a fan of surprises. He told me to dress sexy, yet warm since it's chilly outside. I wanna know what he has under his sleeve.

"Come on Senia!!" My trainer, Bry knocked me out of my little trance. I took one last gulp of water before standing up and going back to the ropes. He has been getting me the fuck together okay! I lost all my baby weight, plus the little weight I had on me before. I, of course will never lose this chunk of ass back there so I have the 'ideal' small waist, fat butt body. Wish that could change but I ain't a genie. We're working on toning my back, stomach, and legs at the moment so I've been going so hard. Sometimes I have Chris in here about to pass out. It's so funny, he's skinny as fuck with the pack and all but is unfit as hell. He got the easy way out. Bry is a really cool dude too. We created a friendship but only speak when here. I'm not taking the risk. Besides, he's a married man with three kids, he not worried about my little head ass. Time to die, literally.