Persistence

Whiplash.

Betrayal- to turn on someone you trust, or to have someone do the same to you.

My mouth was dry from it being opened for so long. My hands started to shake slightly and my knees just about buckled.

"K-Kevin?" I managed to spit out. He stood looking like a deer caught in headlights with a towel wrapped around himself. "S-S-Senia why you here?" My mother hiccuped out. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes tight.

Dear god I would like for when I open my eyes, I'll wake up in my bed with Chris next to me like we fell asleep last night. This is a dream and my ex boyfriend is not standing in the same room as me and my not to mention, strung out ass mother with no clothes on. I also pray that when I open my eyes, the things that are about to come out of my mouth are only nice things.

Amen.

I opened my eyes and nope. EVERYTHING STILL THE FUCKING SAME. Okay..let me relax and try to act like a grown ass adult. It'll be okay Senia.

"I'm going to need some explaining to start in about the next two seconds. Or else." I folded my arms across my chest and looked between my dumbass mother and bitch ass Kevin.

Kevin's the boyfriend I talked about early on. The military one? Yeah him. Like I said we ended because he enlisted without telling me. He just a sneaky little bitch huh?

"Um...Yo moms was giving me a place to stay and shower...I've been kinda homeless every since I got back from Miami a couple weeks ago." The pieces starting to come together. That's why she didn't want me taking care of her no more. Alright Part one complete. "So wait, you mean to tell me, your ex girlfriends mom was the ONLY person you could ask for help? And let's not forget, it's been years since we talked so what made you think that this shit-" I pointed my finger between the two of them. "-would be okay? You know...how did she relapse when you all of a sudden started coming around?" I squinted at him. Meanwhile she was nodding in and out of her fucking crack coma on the bed.

He scratched the back of his head as he looked at me. "She said if I helped her get some, that she would help me with a place to stay...then somethings lead to another one night and we kinda....you know." He tossed his hand towards her. Red. Red. Black. Next thing I know I was on top of him, smacking and kicking the shit out of him and my mother is trying her hardest to stand and make it over to us while yelling 'stop! Get off my man!'. If I keep hitting him I'm going to kill him and jail doesn't sound too bad right now. I'm furious. He roughly launched me across the room off of him which caused me to hit my head against the bedroom dresser. I winched in pain and let out a loud scream. "Bro what the fuck! I'm fucking bleeding!" He yelled towards me. I breathed hard and stood up, going to launch at him again but my mother fell onto the floor which cause a loud thud and caught my attention. She went even paler than what she was. I ran over to her and fear crept up in me. "Mom! Kevin call 911!!" I got down on my knees next to her, shaking her body hard. No response. "Hurry up!!" I looked back at him with tears in my eyes. He stumbled with the phone before putting it to his ear. I turned back to my mother and checked her pulse....

Nothing.

That's it.....she killed herself.........

Pronounced dead at crime scene at 4:23PM on August 23rd.

I couldn't hear anything going on around me. I couldn't feel anything, emotionally or physically. The nurses rushing around, the doctors delivering news to the front desk, security guards arguing with families all running across my mind like a background tab. I don't know how to feel about any of this. Chris has been here with me since I first arrived which was two hours ago. I appreciate him being here with me but I just can't feel anything.