Persistence

Distance.

Grief- A profound mental anguish that one feels when one loses a loved one. Often accompanied with feelings of sorrow, regret, anger, guilt, and feeling very lonely.

6 Months later
"Honnneyyy..you said I could!" She tapped on my shoulder. I kept my eyes fixated on my phone and acted as if I couldn't  hear her. "Then why did you say it if you not going to do it?" She stepped in front of me. I locked my phone and took a deep breathe, looking up at her. "I'm up next in a few. This is my last night so why would I let you have my set Niya. I didn't say you could have it, buck did and buck don't run a bitch ass thing but this club. You'll be taking my spot once I leave so just sit this one out." She just stared at me for a couple seconds before speaking. "I'll give you some head." She smirked. I was so taken aback by what she said I almost smacked her. I don't play that gay shit what the fuck. "Fuck out of here. No means no. Gone somewhere." I waved her off and turned my chair towards the mirror.

These past couple of months have been some of the most wish washy shit I've ever encountered. Whenever I was about to be fully happy with something, something bad was standing right behind it. My mom has gotten so much sicker than she has ever been, I started school, depression has been kicking my ass, and I had to balance working still. My mother isn't as mobile anymore so I have to do everything for her such as going to get her groceries, cleaning her house, cooking for her and everything else. I've recently decided that I have plenty of money saved up and I also have a constant income coming in between my rental property and others things so I'll be done stripping. I appreciate everything that this stripping shit has done for me. It has played apart of making me the woman I am today and I will always be grateful. I started school for the first time and I can say it hasn't been so bad really. I major in Administration Preparation, so I can someday work in a hospital. I want to get my masters but I may just go with an associates degree. As for Chris...we haven't spoken since that day and I'm not going to lie..I did miss him a lot in the beginning but I'm getting better now. I had fell into depression alot and I wouldn't eat so I lost so much weight. Never lost it in the right places tho. That was just a prime example as to why I never give niggas the time of day! Im not looking for anyone anytime soon neither.

"I'm about to bring out everyone favorite! We are also sad to say that this is her last performance so y'all better go crazy with them ones!! Everyone give it up for HONNENEYYYY!!" I took one last deep breath before slowly making my way onto the stage. 'Panty Droppa' boomed loudly throughout the club as I made my way up to the pole and grabbed onto it with both hands, climbed my way to the very top and slowly slid down it with my legs spread so when I got to the floor, I was in a split. The crowd was yelling and cheering as I proceeded with my routine. My eyes scanned the crowd and then they landed on a pair that was staring into my soul. Money was flying everywhere and the heat level started to rise. They belonged to him. It's been so long that I forgot what it felt like to be trapped in that enticing stare. Everything around me started to move in slow motion and my heart was racing. I could hear the music stop but time still felt like it was going slow. I finished off my routine as quick as I could before leaving the stage. Cherry ran up to me and pulled me into a tight embrace. "That's my bitch!!! Oh my god ima miss you!" She pulled away from me and made a pouty face. I blinked a couple times to before putting on a smile. "I'm going to miss you too!" I laid my hand in her shoulder and patted it before turning and walking away. I'm all discombobulated. I....I'm lost for words honestly.

As I was finishing up with getting my clothes folded up and put in my duffle, the door closed behind me and someone cleared their throat. I looked up in the mirror and there he stood with another duffel bag. "Senia! Long time no see baby." He raised his arms in the air, holding the bag still. I turned around towards him and almost choked on my spit. Everything that happened to me that night flashed back into my head. "Why you shaking? I don't bite." He gave this devious smirk and slowly walked towards me. His face kept flickering between his own and someone else's and I was on the verge of passing out.