chapter thirty nine ... beer, mistakes & regret

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Nemesism (n

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Nemesism (n.)
frustration, anger, or aggression directed inward, toward oneself and one's way of living.
———

three hours earlier...

"Sorry I couldn't make it to the phone but chances are I didn't want to. Leave a message after the tone or else I won't call back," Elliott's voicemail greeted me for the hundredth time. Groaning in frustration, I threw my phone on the bed before collapsing down onto it.

"Just go to the apartment and talk to her for fucks sake," Benjamin complained from my doorway as he fixed the cuff on his shirt. "Don't give her a chance to ignore you."

"I don't want to push her into talking to me," I reminded him as I rolled off the bed and walked toward the closet.

Benjamin scoffed as he shook his head. "And calling her three hundred times isn't trying to push her to talk to you?"

Turning to glare at him, I narrowed my eyes before ripping off my tee shirt and throwing on a denim three quarter length button up. Stepping out of my sweats, I put on my black jeans before throwing on my white converse and heading toward the door only to find Benjamin still standing there.

"What?" I asked somewhat harshly as I brushed past him and made my way towards the front door.

"We're going together, aren't we?" He asked as he followed closely behind. "I mean, I have to pick up King but it'd be smarter if we carpooled."

Not wanting to argue, I nodded before following Benjamin out of the apartment and down to the car. Sliding in the passenger seat, we drove to the girl's apartment in silence with only the quiet hum of the radio in the background.

"You want to come up?" Benjamin asked as he put the car in park outside of their building.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I told him softly as I stared up at the building, at the window that I knew was Elliott's bedroom.

Benjamin released a soft sigh before he slipped out of the car and made his way into the building. Cursing under my breath, I brought my fist down on the dash board before putting my fist in my mouth. Taking as deep of a breath as I could, I saw Kingsley and Benjamin walking down the stairs out of my peripheral. Climbing out of the car, I held the door open for her before moving to sit in the back seat.

———

Pulling up to the baseball house, I quickly climbed out of the car and made a beeline for the door, not bothering to wait for them. I wasted no time in pushing through the crowd and finding myself in the kitchen as I searched for a beer.

A couple hours went by and everything was blurry. My head started to pound under the weight of all the alcohol but I didn't care as I danced with a bunch of people on the makeshift dance floor we had made in the living room and dining room.

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