Servamp: Betrayal and Forgiveness

Chapter 24

It told him that he was just meant to unravel himself in front of Sleepy Ash as there was nothing to be afraid of.

He wanted to scoff at the notion. He really did. It disgusted him to think such a way. Him, not fearing his own murderer? Even though his sanity and moralities may have been crippled during his stay in the C3 already, he wasn't that insane to not fear his own murderer. A normal human being would fear a monster, and he was the same.

And yet, he couldn't dismiss the underlying feeling that told him yes, it's true, you don't have to fear him over and over again. It was there and try as he might (frustratingly), he could not get it to disappear.

He willed his spirit into not succumbing to that part of him that maybe, just maybe, he still had a bit of hope for Sleepy Ash to return and atone for his sins and wrongdoings. The temptation of hope was enticing and it may taste sweet at first, but he knew that if that hope was crushed, he would fall into a deeper hole of despair than he was already in.

What even caused that feeling of hope, a feeling he had already abandoned a long time ago to resurface in the midst of seeing the vampire himself after two years? He could not find an explanation to it.

Heart conflicted by the question, he sighed as he looked down on his lap and saw the faint but evident black engravings on his wrist, eyeing it a bit before an idea struck him sharply and his orbs widened at the sudden realisation.

Was... was the 'Eve of Sloth' inside of him that he thought he broke into a million pieces still intact and waiting for an opportunity to revive itself again, more so when Sleepy Ash has now been appearing by his side multiple times?

He thought he had already snuffed out that flame of his younger, naïve self that fell into the hands of a psychopathic vampire, he really did, but it seems not because if he had then why would the black engravings from their contract together from the past start to darken again?

Before, he was a bright and powerful flame. Admired by many. Untouchable from the darkness as it burned anything that tried to touch it. But slowly, after his mother's death, the darkness seemed to be growing and it managed to devour bits of his brightness. When the darkness (Sleepy Ash's betrayal) overwhelmed it, it was snuffed out to a small flicker, so small that he thought it was long gone and he truly had lost himself.

But he didn't realize that it was still there, battling the darkness with all it had as a small flicker of light, persevering through the harsh whips of cold air that whooshed past the abyss.

Even if it was small, it was still there, and all it took to ignite it back into it's previous powerful and beautiful blaze was just a bit of fuel.

He wasn't fully broken yet; there was still a part of him that shouted out for help, still clinging onto that small feeble hold it had on the word called 'hope' and he wasn't sure if he felt relieved or angered by the thought of it.

Shirota Mahiru, the Eve of Sloth, was still hidden deep between the cracks of Shiro's mask no matter how much the wearer detested him and tried to get rid of him to no avail.

Hope was like a cockroach. Difficult to kill and an eyesore; also something pretty terrifying. No amount of pest controllers could obliterate the whole colony of cockroaches in the world because the numbers keep popping up— like how if there was still someone, even if that someone was on the other side of the world, prayed and wished for you to get better, hope will renew itself over and over again.

And deep inside Shiro, the fox of C3, Shirota Mahiru was hoping for a new chance in life with Sleepy Ash by his side yet again, with them both smiling softly in joy together while watching the sunset.