red ; bts

fifty three

"What the hell have I been telling you all this goddamn time, Y/N?!" Jaeyoung furrows his brows, looking at you with upset eyes as you sit in the newer bench amidst the many green rose bushes; the wind gently blowing through the leaves and your short, blond hair. "Why do you think I tell you these things?!"

"Jay,"

"No, don't 'Jay' me right now." Jaeyoung cuts you off. You can see the stress in his eyes. The stress of watching a great plan slowly and inevitably beginning to crumble. The stress of a soon-to-be-due wife at home. The stress of being so scarily close to fatherhood. The stress of having all of these problems so close to that pure, innocent child. The stress of having his little sister carrying all of those goddamn problems. The stress of being stressed. "You're playing with fire."

"And I got a little burned, so what?" You look up, meeting his conflicted eyes. They show a mixture of emotions. He's angry, yes. Disappointed. A bit flabbergasted. Frustrated. Irritated. And many other things. "I'm fine, Jaeyoung." You soften your tone, "Really. You don't have to do this. You don't have to come here and scold me. You don't have to baby me through this." You watch him shift his jaw. "I've—I've adapted. I know what I'm doing. I've accepted this."

"No." Jaeyoung shakes his head, keeping his glare in line with your calmer gaze, "You don't fucking know what you're doing." His words come out harsh, but you accept them. "You don't, Y/N. And I knew this would happen. I knew." He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head, turning a bit like an angry father with his eyes closed. More mad at himself for trusting you'd be fine. "I knew when they'd show everything would get screwed up."

"They?" You question, furrowing your brows. You watch him and pretend you don't know what he's talking about even though deep down you know exactly what he's talking about. "Who would screw everything up, Jaeyoung? What the fuck did they 'screw up'?"

"Don't act stupid." Jaeyoung glares straight at you again, taking a step closer. "Don't pull that shit right now. You know exactly who I'm talking about. You know damn well." His tone snaps, no longer holding any patience with you. "From the moment you got into my car, from the moment I saw your eyes—your sad, empty fucking eyes—I knew they'd be a problem."

"They? You mean Bangtan? Oh, please! Jimin caught me off-guard. That's all." You fight the urge to look away. "He thinks I'm with EXO. He's not a problem. None of them are. I don't care about them." Your voice trembles ever so slightly, giving away the lie.

"I don't know what's worse." Jaeyoung shakes his head, letting out a small, airy chuckle of frustration. "The fact that you care or the fact that you know you care and you're fucking denying it." He steps up a bit closer. "I don't know what the fuck you went through in that house. You never say shit about it and that's perfectly fine. But whatever the hell it is that's distracting you and making you make all these goddamn stupid decisions, I'm gonna put an end to it."

"An end to what, Jay?!" You raise your voice, feeling a sudden need for a clarification you might actually not want. "They're not distracting me or influencing any of my fucking decisions, I'm doing just fine! They stayed behind in a part of my life that I never think about anymore. Rest assured!"

"You think I'm stupid?" Jaeyoung asks, growing even more impatient with this tense conversation. You shift your jaw, not breaking the eye contact out of pure defiance. Truly, all you want to do is agree and be mad at yourself. But you've developed the pride of someone who'd never allow themselves to do such a weak thing. Jayeong flares his nose, "You really don't wanna see it do you? You don't even know.."

"Know what? See what?" You ask, standing up from the bench and fully stepping up to him. "Whatever it is that I can't 'see' or don't 'know', please enlighten me." You mock. "Since you apparently know me more than I fucking know myself. What the hell don't I see?!"