Being Nash Grier's Sister

Chapter 11

Liv's P.O.V:

I sit there and take it all in.

Did mom, Brad, and Sky go to Canada to get away from me?

Am I really that bad?

Why can't I be accepted and understood?

A tear rolls down my face and it soon turns into Niagra Falls.

I'll never be good enough.

No one likes me.

All of these horrible thoughts come piling into my mind, but there's something wrong.

I can't get rid of them.

They keep coming, and I'm bawling my eyes out on the roof of a hotel.

I've been here for hours, and no one has came up to check on me.

They're probably glad I'm gone, I mean, if I were them, I would.

I'm a mess. No one can handle me. Not even my own mother.

I am a suicidal freak.

I have no friends.

Everyone hates me.

Maybe I should leave.

Start a new life, with people who understand what it's like to be forgotten.

What it's like to want to die.

Maybe, just maybe I could do it.

I mean, no one would miss me.

Here I am, I've been gone for only God knows how long, and my brothers don't give a shit.

I am turning into an anorexic cutter again, and my mom doesn't give a shit.

If no one else gives a shit, why should I?

I have no one to live for, no one cares. I'm always gonna be the last choice, and that's how it will be.

My walls are being built stronger and higher, and I sure as hell don't plan on letting anyone in.

Not Nash, not Hayes, not Will, not Mom, not anyone.

Last time I trusted someone, I ended up here.

In Florida, with my brothers and their friends. How wonderful.

I mean, I love them, but they don't know that I'm dying on the inside.

I wanna listen to music and lay in bed for the rest of my life.

That's all.

I finally get a damn grip on my stupid feelings, and I try to make it look like I wasn't crying, but it won't work.

I pick my spiritless body up and walk back to my room.

I don't have a key, so I have to knock on the door, and Cameron answers almost immediately.

"Liv," he croaks.

"I know. I look fucking awful, you don't have to tell me." I walk past him and throw myself onto my bed, despite the looks from every guy in my hotel room.

I feel stares burning into my back and I hear people's phones ringing and typing.

"I swear to Jesus himself, if y'all don't have the balls to say what you have to say out loud, I'll just say it to make it clear. I know, I look awful, no need to tell everyone else. So if you're just gonna be like that, please get the fuck out of my hotel room. I can't take this right now," I snap at them, and everyone leaves. Including Nash and Hayes.