VIXX Short Stories

In My Dream (Hongbin x N)

Sorry I am not someone to remember, not someone to forgive, and not someone to love. I let you experience the worst painful moment that you never imagined I am capable of doing, and that is to leave you. I left you without saying a word. I left you with nothing.

I saw how broken you were when I was gone. The first time I saw you after two months of leaving, you became skinny and your visible tired face. You refrained on teaching at school you used to work as you are tired and need to fix your life first. You left our apartment and drove back to your parents' house with all your stuff.

One year after I left, you came back again in teaching to different school. You were a lot better than the last time I saw you. You became fit again and your cheerfulness came back to you again. You are happy once again.

As months pass by, I saw you walk home with another man. I can see how happy your eyes are when you are with him, which I am thankful for. I don't want to see you being sad again, but my heart aches.

My heart aches everytime I see you looking at him the way you looked at me. My heart aches everytime I hear you laugh so hard on his silly jokes. My heart aches everytime I see you giving him kisses on the cheek when you part ways. But I deserve this punishment. Leaving you is not a mistake, but a choice, and now I need to pay the price.

I saw you and him at the park we used to go. I witnessed on how you threw yourself at him after he inserted the ring on your finger. Your cries were so loud together with the words I am longing to hear: 'I love you'. You both exchanged kisses under the moonlight and acted as if both of you are the only ones existing that moment. I have not seen you that happy again when I proposed to you as well back then.

I saw a nice car with a boquet of flowers in front, arriving at the church. Your family rushed down the stairs to welcome you. The driver opened the door and you went out wearing a very nice tuxedo. You were all smiles when you saw your family waiting for you. You went up through the stairs and fixed your clothes one last time. People started lining on the aisle while you patiently stood behind. Yiruma's Kiss the Rain started playing in the background, the music you said you wanted to hear on your wedding. I know I can't do anything anymore.

Few years later, I hid behind the big old tree standing across your house. I saw a little boy running around the garden as you shout for him to be careful. Then a slightly older girl went out as well holding a tray full of three glasses with juices. She was giving her full concentration on the glasses as you hate it when someone breaks your things. Your husband just left for work and you were left to take care of your adopted kids.

 I smiled at the sight of you smiling. I regretted leaving you, but I am happy that you are living the best life. You deserve all the best and only Taekwoon could fulfill that. It is enough for me to experience that a Cha Hakyeon once loved me with all of his heart. It is enough for me to see you even in my dreams, and I will be forever  grateful for that.