Chapter 50

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After explaining the whole story to Micheal during the car journey home and over a cup of tea in the apartment, he's well and truly amazed at how crazy it is.

"Talk about right place at the right time" he says. I stare straight ahead for a moment, just letting everything sink in, it's strange explaining everything out loud, like I relived the whole thing only from an outside perspective. I make us some dinner before we retreat to our own apartments, I set out my clothes for work tomorrow and begin watching some YouTube videos when my phone begins to buzz. I read the lock screen, 'SM calling' I gasp out loud covering my mouth as if he might hear me through the phone. I've been here for almost 2 months and now he calls? 100 emotions wash over me and before I know it the ringing stops and I have a missed call, maybe he butt dialled me? I stare at the missed call wondering if I should call him back, I'm still mad at him for lying to me but maybe he was calling to apologise, or maybe he knew it was me at the ice rink and was going to tell me to leave him alone. I've now worked myself up to the point were I begin crying, my mind is confused. I feel sad but also angry and a little happy that he called.
I lay back and close my eyes, when I open them again YouTube is on a completely different video, clearly it's been autoplaying videos for a while. I've been a sleep for almost an hour. I double check that the call from Shawn is real and that I didn't dream it all, it is, the red letters 'missed call from SM' stare back at me. I could just tap it and it'd call him back, but I'm too much of a coward so I'll just lay here longing for him to call me again.

Shawns POV:
She didn't answer. I'm shocked if I'm being honest, I thought she'd be ready to tell me off for my crappy behaviour. I've been pacing my apartment for the last hour, I want to go out for a walk but I'm trapped in my apartment. I'm too scared of meeting paparazzi or fans, considering I haven't slept properly in days and have only been eating junk food, I don't look great.
It's 8pm on a Sunday night, it's been 6 days since I left the apartment, apart from quick walks to a nearby shop. I glance at the piano, maybe music would help my mood. I play through a few songs of the new album but almost every song is about her, I try playing other songs but keep fumbling over the notes. I slam my hands down on the keys creating an awful sound.
"Fuck this" I shout in frustration.
I get up and head to the shower, I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. I want to see her.

Jenny POV:
I sit cross legged on the sofa filling out my planner for the week, every time my phone lights up I jump, but every time it's not him.
My back get's sore from being hunched over so I lay back and do some stretches, something I should do more often since I spend majority of my life at a computer desk. I get ready for bed, as I'm pulling back the duvet I remember I left clothes in the dryer. I grab a hoody and the laundry basket and head out of the apartment, I ride the elevator to the basement level where I retrieve my clothes, luckily there's still in the dryer and someone hasn't thrown them in a pile in order to fry their clothes. After I've folded and paired everything I lift the basket and get back into the elevator. I kick off my shoes at the apartment entrance and lean my back against my door to push it open. When I turn around I see a figure standing in my apartment, my first instinct is to scream but just as I'm about to I realise who it is.

"Shawn?" I can barely mutter, the air feels like it's being ripped from my lungs, I don't know how to react. He looks like he's tried to look well presented but he can't cover how tired he looks, his eyes are the key indicator, he hasn't slept in days.

"Your roommate let me in" he says shyly as we stand in awkward silence. "this is a nice place you've got" I nod.

"So are you going to tell me why you're here?" I say a little more rude than I'd intended. "Sorry I didn-"

"No it's fine, I deserve it" he says with a weak laugh. The urge to run over and hug him is nearly too much. "I wanted to see you, I thought I was protecting you by staying out of your way, but then I realised I was just being a selfish coward" he admits.

I have an uneasy feeling in my stomach, I have no idea where this conversation is going and that terrifies me. I've been clenching to the laundry basket as a form of barrier between him and I, I set it down and walk a little closer but still leaving a large gap between us.

I can smell his aftershave but I won't let anything distract me. "Okay, you still haven't really explained why you come over here?" Shawn looks up at me, he's white as a sheet, for a second I think he might faint. "Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? You look ill, have you been taking care of yourself?" I ask concerned.

"I can't" he mutters.

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I can't do anything, I can't eat, can't sleep, can't play music, can't write" He says, his voice shaky.

"Why what's wrong?"

"Ever since that summer I met you, I've been all messed up, and I've tried to suppress it all but it's eating me alive. I tried to move on but I can't, how can I when I never gave us a chance? We've always been this 'what if' and part of me can't seem to let it go. But I've finally realised that I can't when I'm so in love with you that I can't go a day without wondering about what we could be?" He takes a deep breath, I try to as well but it feels like my lungs aren't working. In love? With me? I stand there, frozen.

"Did you just.." I say but the sentence trails off.

"Yes, there's no point denying it, I don't know why it's taken me this long, I was being an idiot. Even if you don't love me back I still had to tell you, I-" his sentence is stoped by my embrace, I hug him tightly.

Now I know for sure, it was obvious now that I think about it. "I love you, I really do! I was too scared to admit it to myself because I didn't think you would ever love me back" I can feel tears forming, I take a step back and Shawns tearing up as well.

"I'm so sorry" he says. "I should've called you as soon as you landed here, in fact I should've never stopped calling you" he says wiping away my tears.

"You don't need to apologise, you're here now" I say.

"god I've missed you" He says and I laugh.

"Me too" I say before standing up on my tip toes to kiss him, it's feels just like it did all those months ago, his hair is just a soft, his hands holding me just as tightly.

We break apart. "I love you" I say quietly.

"I love you too" he says as we both stand there teary eyed, smiling like idiots.

THE END

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I can't believe it's over! Thanks for reading and for all your votes and comments! I can't believe how well this story has done!
I'm always writing so I'm sure I'll have another story up at some point!

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 10, 2019 ⏰

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