Morning Looks Good on You - [Shawn Mendes]

Chapter 47

I put my earphones in and ignore everyone for the rest of the day, I miss my friends so much right now. I cycle home as if I'm trying to win the tour de France, I keep my head down out of fear of seeing Shawn, I feel ten times more paranoid that I'll run into him now know he's definitely in the city somewhere. I try to hold myself together in the elevator but with every ding as we pass the floors I can feel the tears. I fumble for my keys before bursting into tears as I collapsing onto my bed, I feel like such a fool. I wish I'd never told him I was coming here, and of all people why did it have to be Bree that told me that he lied? I lay there sobbing, the tears dry up every once in a while but then I think about it and fresh ones appear. I hear a knock at my door that leads to the kitchen.

"Hey you want some spaghetti? I made too much" Michael says through the door after I don't reply.

"No" I snap.

"Are you Okay?"

"I'm fine leave me alone" there's silence for a minute, I assume he's gone back into his room, which is what I told him to do but really I don't want to be alone right now, why do we do that?

A few seconds later I hear some bowls and cutlery being moved "I'm coming in" Michael announces before entering with a bowl of spaghetti. He sets it on my bedside table without saying a word. "Ugh are you sure you're okay?" He stutters, clearly not experienced in dealing with crying girls.

"Yes, thank you" I say as I sit up and lift the bowl. Michael leaves but to my surprise he returns a few seconds later with his own spaghetti and sits on the end of my bed. I sniffle between fork fulls and try desperately not to look at Micheal. "You don't have to stay" I say quietly.

"Do you want me to go? Sorry I-" he says as he stands.

"No no stay, I just don't want to you to feel like you have to" I say and he sits down again, we finish our food in silence.

I set my empty bowl on my bedside table and Michael sets his on top. "So are you going to tell me what happened?"

I raise an eyebrow "why do you want to know?"

"I'm being nice and you'll inevitably tell me at some point anyway" he says with a small chuckle.

"Oh Okay, Sorry it's just a little out of character" I say, maybe Michael wasn't as cold and heartless as I'd imagined. "Well you know Shaw- I mean Peter" I say and he nods. "Well I ran into his ex today and she was so rude to me and then informed me that Paul's been in town for a week, which sucks in two ways, firstly, of all people why was it his ex that told me that, I feel so humiliated! And secondly, he clearly doesn't want to see me" I say before burying my face with a pillow.

"Well have you given him a reason not to see you? Maybe he's busy? Or still recovering from his breakup?" These are all valid points that my mind had skipped over as I jumped to conclusions.

"We haven't spoke in a while, maybe he just doesn't like me anymore" I say "but I thought we were still friends at least" 

"Just wait and see" Michael smiles at me. "And stop beating yourself up, I bet he has a genuine reason and all your crying will be a waste" I smile a little, Michael lifts our bowls and returns to the kitchen. I drag myself of my bed and into the shower, I sit on the floor with the warm water hitting my back for while before washing my hair and getting out. I make cup of tea and sit by the window and listen to music, I want to talk to someone but I also just want to be left alone, I FaceTime Grace.

"Hey" I smile.

"Heyyy" she says, her green eyes bright and curly hair untamed taking up most of the screen, her joyful expression quickly changes "Wait what's wrong?" 
I spend the next 10 minutes explaining everything, Grace just listens, never interrupting me and that's why I love confiding in her so much. "First of, she's sounds like such a nasty person, you shouldn't feel embarrassed! She should for acting like such an immature drama queen. Secondly, Shawn's a nice guy, he must have a reason, maybe he's scared or just not ready"

"Yea I guess I just have to wait" I sigh. "But I have so much to tell you" I update Grace on everything since I last spoke to her. After the FaceTime ends I realised I've let my tea go cold so I head into the kitchen to make a new one, I knock on Michael's door.

"Yea?" He calls and I peer my head through, he's sitting on the sofa reading.

"Want some tea?"

"Yea please, just milk, no sugar" I head back into the kitchen and make the tea before carrying them in Micheals room and joining him on the sofa.

"Thanks again for dinner" I say.

"It was spaghetti, it's really not a big deal" he says before sipping his tea.

"It's the gesture I'm thanking you for" I say and I he smiles a little. Michael continues to read and I sip on my tea and glance around his apartment.

"Why are you so eager to know stuff about me?" Michael says.

"I just like knowing people, makes it easier to know what to say and understand them better" I say. "For instance you know my parents are divorced so you know that maybe the topic of parents isn't my favourite thing to talk about, and I know that you love books so that something you would enjoy to talk about"

"Suppose that makes sense, anything else I should know so I can avoid"

"Ugh well my big sister passed away a few years ago, so that's not a great topic" say awkwardly.

"Wait! was your sister Jessica Matthews?" He asks.

"Yea? Did you know her?"

"Yea we went to the same music teacher, she was amazing at piano" he says.

"Yea she was" I smile.

"I can't believe I never realised that, you actually look a lot like her."

"Oh really? Well it was almost 4 years ago" I say. "So you what you reading?"

"Blink, it's about how we make split second decisions without thinking" he says, I take a sip of my tea. "So your not even going to ask me anything?"

"No, I've had enough to think about for today" I say and he lets out a small laugh before going back to his book.
I continue to sip my tea watching as the sun slips behind the tall buildings of the city, I'm exhausted.

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Sorry I haven't updated in a while, finding it hard to find time to even proof read before posting never mind actually write new chapters, hopefully I get the last chapter written this weekend and post it all next week! And Thank You so much for any lovely comments!! They give me so much motivation 😭🥰💛